Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Are you an older mum (ie., did you start having babies late in life?) Have you faced any prejudice because of this? How old were you when you had your first and last baby?


Got an Answer?

Answers (14)

First at 36 and last at 40. Conceived naturally, easy pregnancies and natural deliveries. Would have like to have started earlier but wasn’t the case. Happy healthy children was all I wanted.

I've faced backlash as a youngish mum. I had my first when I was 20 and my youngest when I was 28. I think mums are going to face prejudice regardless of their age. I've had people talk shit about my mum when she was pregnant with my sister at 43. But her and my sister were both healthy and well so, to the critics, f**k em. If someone is pissy because you can have babies later than they can, that's their issue. The problem lies with them, not you. F**k those guys.

39 & 41. (For the trolls....... I conceived them both naturally, had easy pregnancies and births and both are normal).

Not a heap of judgement. But I’m not bothered about my age and being an older mother so maybe I don’t notice it. Most of it directed at me has been on places like this forum which is really meaningless. Probably the comment that sticks out the most was at playgroup and a mother who I had only met a few times and clearly didn’t know my age said to the group women should not have babies after the age of 35. Should have seen her back pedal when I said how old I was when I had my babies 😂

anyone who judges either young mums or older mums are very narrow minded. Unless they know the person well and their circumstances then there really should keep their opinions to themselves.

 I wonder if it's the same playgroup I went to. She said I was a wonderful mother then made the same 'not over 35' statement (I was 36 & 39). The hypocrisy is that she was probably mid twenties, super religious & traditional, yet was a single mother to two kids by different fathers, neither of which were involved at all & living off Centrelink. Not something anyone judged her for as she was an excellent mother, but so hypocritical!!!
helpful (0) 
 I think it's all playgroups! I recall a mum making a statement similar that people shouldn't have kids over 30, but half of the playgroup was made up of mums over 30!
I think if you are 20, 30 seems so "old", but when you are 30/40, 20 still seems like you're a child!

helpful (0) 

23 with my first and 38 with my 3rd. So I've been the young mum and now I'm the old one lol

38 and 40. Both naturally conceived and healthy babies. I didn’t get married till I was 36. Worked in a government job for 20 yrs and travelled before marriage and kids so it worked out well for us.

I'm 33 and pregnant. I have a teenager. And I feel really distressed about being pregnant and judgement from other people about why didn't I have abortion and my life is ruined now because I almost was free to do my own thing, and impact on my life and having a baby and a teenager is really giving me anxiety.

Do people realise the damage they could be doing when adding their two cents worth to anxiety sufferers?

 I’m sorry that people are making these awful comments. You will be absolutely fine, I bet you’ll just adore having a new baby again. Plus, 33yrs is so young, why wouldn’t you have another! Don’t let anyone get you down, you’ll do great!
helpful (1) 
 I have a friend who was born when her sister was 16. Her mother found it easier as her sister was more willing to help out with cleaning, cooking and washing. They now are both adults and you couldn’t ask for a better sister relationship. Don’t worry about the people who want to judge and bring you down, you’ll find that this time you get even more of a life because your older child is there is give you a hand, even if it’s just holding bub while you have a shower.
helpful (1) 

First at 17 last at 38 8 kids didn't care what people said my body my life

35 & 39. I've had friends repeat constantly that they're 'so happy their kids are older & more independent now'. It only bothers me because I'm sick of hearing it, but I think it was difficult for them as we travelled & had reasonable paying careers & no money stress while they had babies & struggled. It doesn't bother me because we still travel with the kids & they still struggle for money.

Ironically, the other group is young mums. At playgroup I was ostracised because I had a career (part time then) & could never mention about anywhere we'd been. I discovered it was pushed by jealousy from a mum who wanted a career & travel but got pregnant young. If I'd known I could have reassured her she'll have her turn soon!!

I had my first at 32yrs and second at 33yrs so around average I guess.

20 when I started, 43 when I finished... Five kids all up