Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

What do your parents pay for?

Just curious...lately I have heard a few people talking about their parents paying for the grandkids swimming lessons, dance lessons, piano lessons, art class and new summer/ winter clothes. Is this something that is common, do your parents/ in laws pay for your kids activities or clothes?

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (31)

Nothing other than the gifts they choose to give at Christmas and birthdays.

But we don't expect anything and we aren't in financial trouble at the moment so don't need it. We are more than happy with their input.

What they do give of very generously is time - I know they love to babysit and they visit us because we live far away at the moment.

My parents set up a trust for their grandchildren that gets used for private schooling, and then university after. We pay for extra curricular activities and obviously other costs of raising our kids. My parents believe education is the be all, end all of life so they made sure their children and now grandchildren are properly educated. I personally don’t but hey it’s not a BAD thing to have under your belt!

 How does the trust thing work? Is it just an account in their name they put money into and then you use to pay for schooling? Or is it an account that makes a lot of interest and that is what you take out to use?
(Not a sarcastic question sorry if it reads that way)

helpful (0) 
 All trust funds are different...
most of them though, in a simple example thing of the trust fund as a person. A very rich person. You go to that rich person when you need money. The rich person continues to be rich because of credit (the back gives you say 5% of the money you keep with them every year as a thankyou for your buisness)

I am the one who's house is under the trust....so if my husband ever in a split has no entitlement to the trust ergo the house.
If it makes it to our kids generation it will pretty much be set that all our future generations will own houses. the trust will continue to grow and get larger.

The only way it won't make it to then is if my 3 siblings overrule me in a majority vote to take out of the trust fund all of the new money (it's a 10million trust fund 5 years ago so we could each walk with at least 2.5 million plus some)

BUT That gives our spouses access to the money in a split and doesn't garentee our kids financial security.

helpful (1) 

My parents do like to pay for extra curricular activities such as swimming and both parents buy clothing for the kids when they see something they like.
No one expects it though I don’t not buy my kids clothes knowing they like to... i buy everything and I tell them just a few items as they already have what they need. I never say no though, am always grateful.

Only presents and sometimes things they see at the shops. We can pay for everything we need/want.

I give my in laws and my parents $10k for Xmas
Hubby and are well off and can afford baby number 9 in dec

No my parents and in laws don’t pay anything towards the kids for any activities. However my Dad has been very generous with a loan for our house deposit so I don’t expect anymore. They look after our kids which started I work for 2 days a week and I wouldnt dream of asking them for any more financial support on top of that unless we were unable to work due to sickness.

My parents paid almost 50k for family court solicitors, dad told me to excuse my legal aide solictor while I was standing at the bench. She was fu****g hopeless and clearly tying to help his solicitor (they are friends, quick face book stalk)

They own the home I rent, cheaper rent.

They want to
Pay for a lot of activities outside of school, I don’t want the kids doing too much because they get too tired. I may agree when they are older if the kids want to do any more, they do one sport and have unlimited pool passes I pay for.
My car was in their name (to protect in break up) they came and borrowed it one day and came back with a new one.
My siblings carry on about how good I have it and resent me. No fu**s given they help them too.

Without the Solicitor I was planning on moving state/country and my parents wouldn’t get to see us as much. There were no orders in place. He has been in jail mostly since we broke up and sees them supervised when not. The icl fought for no contact, I fought for supervised as I want the children to have some kind of relationship with him.
My parents have paid for many medical bills as well.
We had f**k all growing up and especially dad is pleased he can help now. They do hold it over me at times though. I wish I had a kick arse job. My siblings all earn over 100k a year. My brothers tax bill was twice what Centrelink pays me in ftb and single parent after reporting my earnings.

They pay for nothing for any of the grandkids. They don't even babysit. They are very selfish. My sister and I have talked about how when we have grandkids we are going to be spending a lot more time with them than our parents spent with our children. Strangely they wonder why my kids don't want to go spend time with them.

My parents pay for nothing. That’s ok, I don’t expect them too. My in laws paid for my family to go on an overseas trip with them. They paid for everything. When my kids go there for a sleepover they get spoilt. They’ll take them to lunch, movies, activities etc. They paid for my daughters school ball gown. They don’t pay our bills but they do lots of nice things for us. We are grateful for that.

My parents do pay for anything. I wouldn’t ask. My mum does buy quite a lot of things for my kids like clothes but only because she wants to. If I needed them to pay for something they would, but unless it was urgent I wouldn’t ask.

Pay for swimming lessons etc of nephews and anything else. E.g. something went wrong with brothers hot water system, they bought a new one, some money for renos etc. My bro has some health issues etc but honestly Mum and Dad love to be able to do it. They said they had it really tough when they got married, when we were growing up etc. and are now in a better financial position, aren't really big travellers or that, just love to have some coin in the bank for things like that for the grandparents and to help out when in a pickle, splurge on family outings etc. People can criticise it and judge, but I'm not really sure why everyone feels it's their place to judge what people choose to do with their money. I intend on raising independent children but also look forward to being in a financial position where I can do the same for grandkids etc. and share the joy.

 Who's judging?
helpful (0) 
 No-one is criticising or judging?
helpful (0)