Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

FIFO mistress.

Are you one? Do you FIFO or live in the town? Do you see more than one? Do you have friends do the same? Do people meet him with you?
Is there anyone out there given this is anonymous that would care in a non bitchy way to explain some details of the set ups you have with married men? Do you kinda just not ask questions but think he's married and figure ignorance is bliss
Does he ever talk about his kids/wife


Got an Answer?

Answers (35)

I'm fifo and would never dream of hurting my husband like that. Disgusting that people would do that. Both men and women.

helpful (2) 

People who cheat on their partner will do so no matter what job they do. It is a fallacy that FIFO workers have more affairs.

 Exactly. I worked in hospitality for years, and cheating and affairs were rife amongst the industry!
helpful (4) 
 I completely agree
helpful (1) 

My husband was fifo and had a 4 month affair... She knew he was married and didn't give a f**k, I tried to contact her many times when I found out, but she was to chicken to talk to me. Until she realized he wasn't going to move full time to be with her, Then she talked and sent screen shots of the conversations, and even gave her friends my phone. He told her everything things that I taught where private between husband and wife, she knew everything---which was the hardest part to deal with. It destroyed our marriage and family, I am still so angry about it. I don't understand how another women could do it, of course my ex husband is to blame but why would you want to be the other women??

 Its not a very respectful place to be is it. You think these women would have more respect for themselves.

Bigg hugs to you strong lady.

helpful (2) 
 I've been there. You get through it and the anger leaves. I feel sorry for my ex now as he's the one who has to live knowing he screwed his family over for a girl only 4 years older than our eldest child.
helpful (1) 
 Sorry but why blame her?!!!!! Your husband was the one going to her.
helpful (6) 
 ^ because as women we should know better than to be the cause to break a happy home.
helpful (7) 
 Thought not taught
helpful (0) 
 Yes, women who know that the guy is married are just as guilty as the husband. No matter what he tells her his marriage is like (because guaranteed he would have given the other woman some bs sob story about how bad his marriage is blah blah blah). And if the other woman doesn't give a f**k? Well, she's a special kind of skank.
helpful (2) 
 the married person always makes out how much of a victim they are in their relationship! How badly they get treated , or used etc. That's how they live with their decision of hurting the other person!
I'm actually like the nicest person, but after my ex had an affair, she had told people I worked with at once of my jobs that I was a heavy drug user, I was always doing drugs around the kids, I was using him and harassing his family, and bullying him, and I was a psychopath who would fly off the rails at him.
I was beyond devastated to hear these things. I don't even drink, I worked 3 jobs, sometimes 12/13/14 hours a day between all three jobs, starting at 3in the morning, to support my family and to support his lazy, shit a*s to sit around all day and f**k other people!
I used to think, if I was prettier, thinner, worked less, wasn't so busy, paid him more attention etc etc etc. But he still would've done what he wanted anyway and I still wouldve been the bad guy!

helpful (0) 
 Hang on, fair play your husband cheated not her. Did you ever consider she had something to lose too? Did you ever consider she didnt know he was married until she had already fallen for him? Did you consider if he said he was single or seperated or had left you? Men play women really well. As women do to men. Yes it takes two to tango but dont blame the woman when your husband cheates.
helpful (3) 
 If he was having an affair it wasn’t a happy home
helpful (2) 

It is the cheaters fault 100%. Unless you are raped nobody forces anyone to have sex. If you have a gf/spouse/partner you are a cheater, if you are single than not your problem. I bet a lot of married FIFO workers take off their wedding rings.

helpful (0) 
 Spoken like someone that's sleeps with people that are taken
helpful (3) 
 The women might not know at first, so what excuse do they use when they find out the man does have a partner? They usually keep seeing them cause they get "feelings"
helpful (1) 

Im not sure if this is what you want to know about but this is my story.
I was transferred with work to a fifo town, the town had a few pubs and it was a very social place. I met lots of different people there, there was some cheating but it seemed to be the same ones cheating and playing musical beds. There were a few married men in my group of friends and I saw so many photos and videos of their wives and kids I felt like I knew them!

A guy hubby was working with started hooking up with a cleaner at camp, his wife found out she was pregnant with their second child and he left her for the cleaner. He's now playing happy family with the cleaner but started doing FIFO in another part of Australia. I wonder if she worries he's doing the same to her

 You know what they say "once a cheater always a cheater" from what I've seen it usually rings true
helpful (8) 

I am I suppose.
It can get a little lonely in this town , I'm working her 2 more years so my kids and I can live by the beach mortgage free and I can give all my time to them.
My husband died 4 years ago when I was pregnant and so I'm pretty emotionally detached from sex.
Every few months I get the itch to have sex and iv got a few f**k buddies. 2 I know have a wife the others I would assume they do.
A lot of it just starts by me jndulgding in adult conversation and attention.
I was 8 months pregnant with twins when he dies and had a 3 and 4 year old.
It's my escape and its no strings attached. I don't want a new man in our lives till the kids are nearly out of home.
It's easy to detach from everything that's not about my kids.
I'd been with only my husband I was 15 when we met and fell in love.
My whole life was upped away from me so I feel emotionally dead to a lot of things. Sleeping with men is one of them-

 So because you are suffering you choose to deal with that by participating in making others suffer? That's a really mature and strong way to deal with it-just in case your too stupid to get it I am being sarcastic
helpful (6) 
 No but I'm not the one cheating or the one in a broken marraige . He's hurting his wife not me.
helpful (10) 
 I've been the mistress and for similar reasons to what you describe and I "get" where you're coming from.

I wanted strings free sex and married men were safer. I didn't want the relationship or commitment just the fun and freedom of no strings attached sex. There's no expectation of a relationship with married men because I've never asked one of them to leave their wives. They talk about them sometimes but that doesn't bother me because I don't want a full time anything other than my job.
And before the lynch mob come screaming at me with pitchforks I'm not proud of what I did, I was in a bad place but I had no commitments or vows I was breaking so if you want to look at blame, we were both to blame for the affairs but it's his choice to jeopardise his marriage and that blame falls solely on him.
Oh and it's not just FIFO husbands ladies, you'll be surprised how easy it is for the affairs to go undetected regardless of the job held by the husband.
Let the onslaught begin.

helpful (8) 
 Selfish nasty self centred thing you are. You suffered pain so you try convince yourself what you’re doing is ok. You’re repulsive. Everyone has a story some worse than others, you just use yours as an excuse to be a disgusting human being (putting it politely)
helpful (4) 
 Lol this was my post.
I wasn’t justifying any of it. I was just saying where and why and how I came about to be the other women.

Iv always been of the opinion and belief there is 1 person 100% to blame in a marriage breakdown due to affair, That’s the person in the marriage. I’m never the only one they sleep with. If you chose to be married to a man who couldn’t stay true to his word that’s on your own poor discretion.

I still see one man every now and then he goes home to his wife and kids. I think he’s an asshat and it’s damn obvious he’s a cheater. It’s purely a sexual transaction as I said. I take care of me and my family, my parents my brother sisters nieces....
not some woman I don’t know with a poor judge of character looking to shift that onto me.

I’m a wh**e who has slept with 6 men and I’m 38, I don’t plan on creeping up my number , it’s a few times a year and convenient.

Haters gonna hate, but it’s the married person who’s the one hurting their spouse.

helpful (4) 
 I feel bad for you. But you are right. It's the married person's responsibility to respect their own marriage.
I hope everything works out for you and your children. I hope one day your heart heals from losing your husband, it sounds like you really love and miss him.
One day I hope you can find your heart nourished by a man that brightens your smile and makes you happy again.

helpful (4) 
 It’s me again. Lol.

Thankyou to the last post, I do miss my husband terribly, More so I miss him as a father. All my hurt is for my kids. I got 15 years with him. Half our lives. My twins didn’t even get one day.
I understand how coldness it seems, but with 4 kids I’m in no position to meet another man. I won’t even consider a relationship until the littlest are on their way out of the home.
My kids lost far more than me, and they shouldn’t lose even more by their mother chasing a relationship.
I don’t have the time or the energy to give a good man what he deserves.
Iv always known how few and far between good men can be.
For the most part they just can’t see past their dicks.
I personally just can’t for the life of me how women can be blindsighted by a cheater, you can spot them a mile away, even the clever ones can’t stay hidden too long.
Their lack of loyalty shows up in many other ways first.

helpful (0) 
 I will say though, iv moved onto a new healing. I don’t feel the loneliness at night anymore.
I haven’t been with anyone for months and actually think I’m good for a long time.
I can see a very long period of celibacy coming up.
I feel bad for the women that their married to assholes and they either don’t know or don’t car or don’t know that there is better out there.

helpful (0) 

A good friends partner was FIFO and they had a one year old daughter together. One day he come home for R&R and says 'I'm leaving you and going to stay with my new girlfriend blah blah blah' . She was devastated and had no idea. The mistress was also FIFO and was on her R&R at the same time. She knew about his partner & daughter. Now my friend has to share care of her daughter with 2 people who have no morals.

 That is so sad for your friend and her daughter :-(
helpful (6) 

I think if a woman knows a man has a partner and fools around with them then they must not have a decent amount of respect for themselves. You might feel needed and wanted but if you were you would be more then someone on the side. Just remember that.

I have fallen for a fifo man he has a wife no kids 'yet' he says. I work in accounts and have my own kids so I am not on site all the time just short trips. He will bribe the cooks to get us special food delivered so we can spend the whole evening and night in his room it's just an escape for both of us we don't message or call each other ever we don't have each others numbers. he will only see on the schedule or airport buss sheet if I'm coming in sometimes I've surprised him sneaking into his room. It's just some fun for both of us. His wife probably knows but is too busy spending his money to care I'm guessing.

helpful (2) 
 'His' money lmao
helpful (3) 
helpful (0) 
 you do realise 'his money' is also hers, right? the pair of you, revolting.
helpful (10) 
helpful (2) 
 His money isn't hers toos if she's not a sahm
helpful (0) 
 It doesn't matter if she's a SAHM, if they both work or whatever. If they are married, what's his is hers and what's hers is his.
helpful (1) 
 I'd be busy spending his money and just wait till she finds out byeeee $
helpful (0) 
 Lol not everyone is so co dependant on relationships.
helpful (2) 
 You are disgraceful. There is such a thing called karma and one day it will catch up to you. The funny thing is if he does actually leave his wife and children in the future you will be wondering what he is doing when he isn't with you. You see what makes you think your so special. He won't be leaving them for you. It will be for him, so good luck waste of space 😉
helpful (3) 
 I don't want him with me! I like the arrangement how it is so does he we do t want to be together full time only on site
helpful (2) 

My hubby is FIFO and I'm always sure he would never cheat... until a post pops up on DLS about someone loving FIFO men. How do you know, I'm sure every FIFO wife feels their hubby never would. Makes me sick thinking about it

 On the flip side though I wonder if he every worries what I do while hes away working 28 days straight while I'm at home.
helpful (0) 
 Dont believe everything you read on here
helpful (3) 
 They don't all cheat honey
helpful (2) 

Surprise visits for the drive in drive outs! Look his email up on have I been pwned for Ashley Madison
cheaters use whatsapp easy to delete call history. Watch his behavior around phone. Download blue tooth tracker to find hidden phone in car or just search the hell out of it claiming that you are cleaning it.

DIDO, just one, friends don't know, meet up after we have had dinner, gym, drinks etc. Don't acknowledge each other in public situations at work- we worked with each other on a previous job. Never communicate on R&R.
Its easy to separate work life and home life.

I worked fifo. I was and am still married and I never did cheat on my hubby.
But yes unfortunately I saw ALOT of cheating. Wives and husbands.
It's a different life, you can leave your old life at home and be who you want to be without any responsibility.
But in saying that there was just as many faithful spouses who wouldn't hide their family.

What I have found out recently is men, not all men, but a lot of men simply lie. They tell you everything you want to hear. They get you involved, lie about who they are, then f they are married and I genuinely had no idea to question it. I think women need to support women and stop using the words disgusting. A lot of women get lied to and deceived their whole life.
The person in the relationship is completely aware of the situation. I guarantee they have been living through their teeth. I’ve found out recently how easy they find it and the lack of remorse when it comes to the situation. They also do it literally to shame and embarrass women and I’m getting my power back. The culture on FIFO sites is not acceptable but nobody is doing anything about it!

helpful (0)