Got an Answer?
The laws do not favour mothers, single or otherwise, they favour the best interests of the children. And it's almost always in the best interests of the children to live with their primary caregiver and have regular visitation with their other parent. As the mother is almost always the primary caregiver of young children prior to separation mothers usually end up with the children living with them.
My ex told me that if I left him he would go for full custody of our children. He did is as way to stop me from leaving but it didn't. Before I left I documented with photos how involved he was in the children's lives for about 6 months. Typical week went something like this.
Monday to Friday
Get own breakfast
Go to work
Go on computer
Eat dinner at computer
Go on computer
Both kids played sport. He never once took them to any games or pratice even though he was home. Only taking he did was to order them around or call them names.
Saturday and Sunday
Basically the same except for the go to work and come home. He slept in until 12 every weekend. Went out drinking either Friday or Saturday night.
He thought he was a good father because he worked and only went to the pub once a week.
I was given full custody and he was given weekend visitation that he didn't bother showing up for after the first month. So glad I left his lazy arse.
The law has usually favoured women in child custody disputes because almost always the woman is the primary caregiver during the marriage. It's what's best for the children. And I reckon in most cases it is really good to have the children reside with the mother most of the time and the father has weekend fortnight visits and some holidays. Purely because it would suit the routine you had when married. Less disruptive on the kids. As an example the mum does the day to day slog with the kids, school, homework, activities and play dates. Then the dad can have some one on one quality time with the kids. In alot of cases the dad ends up having more quality time with the kids than when the family was together. What shits me is parents are thinking of themselves or how to get back at their ex's than what is in the best interests of the kids. Get over yourself and think about your kids and what is best for them not you.
I've watched a dear friend of mine fight for more access and rights to his daughter and lose for years. It just seemed really unfair. It's a heartbreaking situation for you to be in. Your children will see and appreciate all of your efforts to see them more, I hope you come to a good solution.
I was one of the few children raised by my father as primary carer, but only because my mum and he agreed to it out of court.
He may be omitting parts of the story that don't favour him...
Iv seen two of my friends exs play the jilted father and appeal to all either on facebook or in person when the realities are totally different and there's reasons they don't see their kids( in one of the cases he's being begged to take them more, he just doesn't and this is mind boggling information to people who hear his side of the story)
I also know a girlfriend of mine who does withhold the kids sometimes too and is sometimes in the wrong or I don't feel like I can fully trust her version...
Splits are messy and people don't always tell the truth to their friends
I feel so sad for my kids.