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A time limit to commit?

How long do you give someone to decide whether they want to commit to a relationship with you? Been seeing someone for 6 months now.


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Answers (9)

2 or 3 dates in. This isnt sex and the city. Who wants to be with someone who is happy to sleep with you and simultaneously sniff around to see if they can find anything better? If he won't say you're in a relationship after 6months he's never going to.

helpful (1) 
 Couldn’t have said if better myself.
helpful (0) 

I think if you want a committed relationship, then you need to be honest about what you Want, two people can't work if they aren't on the same page. You might be really into him, but at the end of the day if he doesn't want to be committed to you, he's probably not the one. Good luck to you whatever you choose, hopefully it works out

 Thanks. You're right
helpful (0) 

I read commitment here as meaning move in together or get engaged. Did you just mean become exclusive / boyfriend-girlfriend? In which case, yeah 2 months or several dates.
But moving in or getting engaged? A year or two.

You don’t even need to time the amount of dates to be exclusive, but I think 2-3 months and 5-10 dates was about my limit. If he’s unsure 6 months later it doesn’t sound promising sorry to say :(

He is using you for sex. I hate to be so blunt but after 6 months ymthings should be more official. Run while you can, you deserve better

 I don't even know what ymthings is. Sorry about that Hahaha
helpful (0) 
 I get what you mean. I’ve caught strong feelings for him. It’s not over but should it be?
helpful (0) 
 That’s entirely up to you.. if he isn’t appearing to have strong feelings for you.. would you want to stay with someone that is like that? Waiting for a better offer?
I don’t know the circumstances but it doesn’t sound amazing no

helpful (0) 
 I think you have to sit down and think, if you have these feelings are you OK with just being casual (I don't think you are by the post) if you're not then it's time to walk away and that's OK. We don't know the whole story but from what I can tell this guy has all the benefits of a relationship with out the title so he is probably laughing. May not be the case though just how I've seen it. You deserve to be with someone who is proud to call you their girlfriend!
helpful (2) 
 Did you clarify what you mean by commitment? Possibly he heard commitment and assumed you meant moving in, engagement, that kind of thing. If you said you meant just being exclusive, and he said he wanted to ‘go with the flow’, I’d end it now.
helpful (3) 
 all the benefits of a relationship with out the title - this is correct. It's true, everyone deserves to be with someone who's proud to be called the gf. If we all walked away from something because the timing was slower what about what it could be if you tried?
helpful (0) 
 Didn't exactly say commitment or pressure into anything but I asked where we were at
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Way too long.

Couple weeks. Maybe a month at most. I wouldn't go on a second date with anyone who wasnt willing to only see me exclusively yet.

 Yes, too much risk of picking up STD's. If you have to wear condoms for protection during sex with your regular partner, its no better an arrangement than a one night stand.
Pleasure is so much reduced too, for most people.

helpful (0) 

Commitment as in exclusive? Unless it was a FWB set up I would be expecting to be exclusive as soon as becoming romantically involved. With my partner that was first date 🍸🍺💏🍆🍑👉👌👍😂

 Yes as boyfriend and girlfriend. We are not seeing or dating others though
helpful (0) 
 So does he already see you as being in a relationship then?
helpful (3) 
 No, not the title. Not a fwb but not yet a rship some in between thing.
helpful (0) 

You be adults and have a discussion about it. Bring it up, see what he says!

 I would say they have thats why shes here asking others opinions.
helpful (1) 
 I did bring it up, he said he wants to go with the flow as he focussed on work at the moment. But doesn't want to end things between us.
helpful (0) 
 He wants to keep sleeping with you and being casual. he’s probably got other girls on the go. They are possibly thinking the same as you.

I used to be this way, less hassles, no ‘relationship ‘ dramas. Going with the flow is what suited me. No one complaining if I buggered off with girlfriends for a week of beach & booze. Didn’t have to do family events and all that shit.
I never lied to any of them, never accepted phone calls from one when with another.
I was never out looking for something better, I had no intention of settling down.

helpful (2) 

Depends on the circumstances - if they are sorting out a divorce and custody arrangement or if I am, if we are young and establishing ourselves, etc.
In my position of being reasonably secure and established and around 40, I'd give him until a year if we were still having fun - then decide if he'd be a better friends with benefits or just friend.