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Reaching out to the internet instead of paying a physiologist

I lost a child 4 years ago at 9 months old to leukaemia.
Every now and then on Instagram I see people hastagging the shit out of their deceased or sick kid. And it’s a huge trigger I get so damn angry , I wanna comment and just say your baby is dead it’s not a fucking hashtag!!!!!!!
Ovcourse I don’t . Ovcourse I know it’s my issues and my pain. Ovcourse I know everyone grieves in their own way.
Ovcourse I know it’s not my place.

But I can’t help but be triggered when I see 33 hashtags on a photo the day after they died.
I don’t act upon it, I’m mostly certain this is just another small part of our walk.
But fuck me. Don’t hashtag your sick kid.
One or two to connect I kinda get. But dozens, fuck I don’t know why it hurts so much.

Aside from my vent that I should probably see a professional for, hug your babies in the morning for me. If they wake tonight love on them a little more and be thankful for being woken by a healthy child.


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Answers (11)

A friend of ours lost her child (9 years old to cancer) nearly 10 years ago now. She still does birthday posts with all his photos every year and memories throughout the year. Lots of hashtags. Lots of hospital photos. I used to freak out and think another of her kids was sick, but still the same one that had passed. She has gotten on with her life but just does not want to forget that she was HIS mother too. She doesn’t want anyone to forget him. It still makes me uneasy seeing them as I never see this much info on her other kids, but she is with them all the time. I think that every time she starts to forget a little or enjoy life too much, she feels like a traitor to his memory, and overdoes all the memorabilia. I have just turned off the notifications on her posts now. I feel sad that it is still such a large part of her life after so long, but I have never lost a child so I don’t know how I would cope with it in her place.

 Its a bit attention seeking.
helpful (1) 
OP Its not the posting of photos.
It’s not even a hashtag or two as hashtags are great ways to file away photo.
I have a few hashtags albums.
It’s the 500 hashtags to get the photo out to as many people.
To be fair this also makes me eye roll on people’s selfies trying to get instafamous.

I guess I just find it a really sad place the world is in where people hashtag the death of their child.

helpful (2) 

Physiologist or Psychologist big difference

  blah blah blah
What a useful contribution

helpful (0) 
OP Lol f**k you dictionary. You ruin me again 😩
helpful (0) 
 Touché to your reply.
helpful (1) 
 When I clicked on the link about physiology I was expecting a educated discussion instead I got this rant
helpful (3) 
 Like everyone could tell what she was talking about, we let it go due to her devastating content
helpful (1) 
 Hard to know when anything is legitimate on this website
helpful (0) 

I'm hearing you OP.
It makes me sick the way people do this. Their children are sacred but they use them as an attention grabbing hashtag.
Disgraceful really.

OP ✔️
helpful (1) 

Grief is handled in many ways and is different for everyone. While you may not agree with others actions. Not all will agree with yours

OP Yeah but hastagging your child’s death for attention is pretty fu****g bad.
Kids like saying you may not agree with a person stealing but they may not agree with things you do sooo....

It’s hastagging your kids death or sickness.
We’ve just gone so far down on common decency on the internet.

helpful (0) 
 Stealing is a crime, hash tagging is not!
helpful (3) 
 I think your last sentence says it all.. yes we have gone so far down it so why would you be on it? Get of it and live your life. I absolutely have the same reaction you have, when I just see and ordinary self broadcasting post, I’d probably have an aneurism were I seeing what you see, so I had to get off Facebook a long time ago and could never bring myself to sign up to any of this instagram is really not for me in any form
helpful (0) 

Not everyone has money to pay a Psychologist & they need to find a way to deal with things on their own. It's possible they could be trying to raise money or awareness for whatever condition it was so that it doesn't happen to another parent. All of this you probably subconsciously know already. I would consider a visit to Psychologist yourself, you obviously have alot of unrestrained emotions about this (which is normal) but they might be able to help you work through some things.

OP Lol I was kinda saying that tounge in cheek, I read it now and see it doesn’t come out.

I can assure you I spent years in therapy.

It’s just are we that far gone on common decency?

helpful (0) 

I guess everyone grieves differently. Some people's whole lives are played out on social media, including death. It might also be their way of bringing awareness and highlighting the cause of their child's death.

Op- hugs for u. I lost a preg again at 16 weeks -and after a year im still struggling to get over that! I cant imagine what it would be like to lose a child. I hope you find some peace. Lots of love and healing for youxx

Malbě stay off Social média for a while

OP Maybe turn off Russian dictionary lol.

Sorry couldn’t help if, there for the taking.
I actually hardly spend time on it.
Just don’t get how someone can hashtag their kids death.
Kinda more than saddens me about me kid, saddens me about the world.

helpful (1) 
 Since you are willing to correct everyone else, it's of course
helpful (0) 
 I’m curious how much “hardly means” , because I imagine hardly is not the same value as it was 5years ago
helpful (0) 

I agree with you, I think that some things are sacred and should be kept off social media. But this is how society creates awareness now. I don't agree with putting a child on Facebook. I have two cousins, one her daughter was stillborn and she posted all these pictures of her sleeping baby, WHY???? my other cousin had a premie and a child with a heart condition and again putting pictures up of their babies covered in tubes, and straight after a heart operation hash tagging away. It's not necessary and why are these people not concerned with strangers seeing their children on the internet?