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Christmas Pressure!! 😢

Christmas is stressing me out so much this year, I usually love Christmas time but I am working up to 15 hours a day, I'll be at work until 9pm Christmas eve, I've not been shopping, I'm hosting (unwillingly) and again am solely responsible for organising everything including breakfast/lunch/dinner for 20+ people. My mind is running is circles and I think I actually had a panic attack last night. How do I stop every one from assuming that I will be the key organiser/event planner/host/slave of our family? I can't do this any more. Every single year. Multiple times a year for birthdays, weddings, funerals... Anything! It's all dumped on me. Even times other people have hosted and organised it still ends up being me doing everything... Help!!!! How do I say no without offending any one? I love my family and I love family gatherings its not that they're ungrateful or awful but I just can't do this any more.


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Answers (10)

Christmas fruit loops
Christmas cheese sandwiches
Christmas spaghetti bolognese.
There's your menu, and your ticket out of hosting next year 😉

 I love it 😊
helpful (1) 
OP That made me laugh 😁
helpful (1) 
 I was mostly serious though lol. They can do their roast meal with all the trimmings in their own homes. The idea of a family Christmas is to have everyone together having a good time. You won't be having a good time if you're slaving away all day at some hot oven. Nor will you see many people. You could do the Christmas desserts and snacks still. Those are mostly ready made or quick to make. But the actual main meal? There's nothing saying you have to be traditional. Why not make this your new tradition? We do the 24th with my in laws and every year we get fish and chips by the lake. Before the kids were all born MIL did the big roast and huge accompaniments. But she never got to relax. This way takes all the pressure off. Just make your own traditions. And if anyone complains, they're welcome to have Christmas at their place next year.
helpful (2) 

Handball everything! Surely everyone can make a salad and a dessert each to bring. You might need to force yourself to take a step back and let others do it. If you're one of those people that get in there and organise everything without waiting for anyone else then it can be a bit off putting to others to help. Like look at her go she's got it all handled type of thing? Let someone else take charge.

OP Yes. You're right, this is a bit of a reality check, I think I am that person at home and also at work which is really fu****g stressful too. I need to figure out how to step back and let other people just do their thing maybe!
helpful (2) 
 Yep this is good advice. If you don't want to ask people personally just send around an email to everyone who's coming saying "I'll be cooking the turkey and the christmas pudding. Here's a list of other things we will need (salads, bread, drinks, crackers etc etc), please let me know what you'd like to bring."
helpful (0) 

Send out sms TONIGHT
Delegate tasks of people bringing food- salad, dessert, starters etc

If you don't want to do the hosting you need a blunt conversation with your family.
And failing that, you need to be more organised next year!!! Plan ahead. Shop early. Start cooking earlier.

And take care of yourself! Hope your partner can buy you a mani/pedi voucher of massage voucher. Chrissy can be very stressful and you've got to be kind to yourself. The suggestions above are all pretty helpful. You gotta be bossy n get people to bring a dish each and yes if anyone offers to help tidy up say YES!

Why not do a Christmas bbq? I have been to a friends place for Christmas lunch a few times and they cook eggs and ham on the bbq. It is very relaxed and everyone has a great day. They have a nice undercover area and we all sit outside.

Yeah i think you need to offend your family, why are you worried about their feelings when they clearly don't care about yours! Thats just selfish of them

Nothing you can do about this year, but simplify. Onkinw shop duribg your breaks.Go on and get 2 day shipping. Utilize the in store pick up on
For xmas breakfast an egg casserole. You can make it ahead and pop it in the oven in the morning. It's scrambled eggs poured over a layer of stale bread cubes. You can add veg, meat, cheeses to change it up. I also love crock pot oatmeal or French toast. Again, Make ahead, and it's ready to go. For lunch just get a platter of veggies, a platter of cold cuts and some salads. For dinner we have all the leftover lunch aND do some bbq chicken, hot dogs and burgers.
When they are all together, tell them how much you love it and that you want to start a rotation because as the family grows you get overwhelmed doing every event. You also want to give others a chance to host. The time and money expenses to always be the host are taking away from your enjoyment.... be honest and loving. Your turns you are happy to do all the work, but over all you need help sharing the responsibility.

Ask everyone to bring a salad and/or sweet. Takes a load off and you can concentrate on the meat.

You poor thing. Grab some salads and a few cooked chooks. Chips and dip and crackers. Make it shit so no one expects you to do it next year. Is it too late to do online shopping?

OP Maybe I should!
helpful (1)