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Why is “never married, no kids” seen as a positive with regards to dating?

I’m single and looking. I’ve seen a few profiles that say “never married and no kids” is me being separated with 3 a con?


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Answers (16)

Kids generally means the ex is still around. Read some of these threads regarding step kids and exes and you can understand why no kids is often seen as a positive in the dating world.

I remember someone here saying they don't tell people they have kids until the 3rd date which is not fair on the people you're dating if having kids is a deal breaker for them.

Have you been a step parent before? F**k. It adds so much stress to the relationship. Reality is the antithesis of the Brady bunch. If you meet a man with children, run x

Maybe they don’t want ‘baggage’? People see ex wives/husbands and kids as baggage that can cause a lot of drama so some people would rather not date somebody who is divorced or has kids.

At a later age that would suggest to me a commitment phobe

 Agreed, there is an age where this goes from being more likely to be seen as positive attribute to more likely to be seen as negative attribute.
helpful (0) 
 Not necessarily. I never married until later in life it wasn't because i didn't want to, it was just circumstance. Failed relationships & a little gun shy because of it. Everyone has a different journey doesn't make them bad people. Could possibly just make them more careful or wise. I could have married the wrong guy when i was younger but i know it wouldn't have lasted & then i would be a divorced single mum- so glad i didn't travel that path.
helpful (2) 
 That is very judgmental. Like the poster above I didn’t get married and have kids until later in life. Nothing to do with commitment issues and everything to do with circumstance.
helpful (2) 

I've seen people get attached to their step kids and then cut out of their lives as they are not the biological parent after a break up. This fear could also play a part for some in seeing no kids as a plus from the start.

It takes a pretty special someone to open their hearts up to not only a person with kids but a person who's kids come with another person in their life. It also takes a lot of time and effort to really make a relationship work with someone who has kids. Kids equal restrictions on time and also take time and attention away from the person so yes for some its a case of mot wanting baggage.

I think it depends on what people are looking for. I wanted someone who had kids and didn't want anymore because I don't want any more kids. Some people don't want someone who already has kids and the potential dramas that come with it. Everyone is looking for something different.

I have 3. Was a single mum for 5 years. Started dating after 4 years because I wasn't ready. Took a year but I met and have moved on happily with a great guy who loves my kids. He has 2 too.
I must admit I purposely looked for guys without kids, never when I first started dating. I did this because I thought there would be no baggage (I know hypocritical). But I eventually realised they couldn't bring to the table the experiences, understanding and self evaluation/ reflection that others had who had been married and had kids.

I'd like to start my journey of kids etc. with a clean slate. Sounds terrible but I dated a guy with a kid. He put a lot of emphasis early on about his beliefs/parenting style etc. etc. and basically, it was seen that I'd need to adapt to his ways because I don't have kids. What then happens if I had a kid with him? Views of parents don't always align but you navigate it together yes, but was given the impression that because he already had a daughter, I'd be potentially parenting along his way because, that's what's currently in place for his child and you can't have 2 kids under 1 roof with 2 different rules expectations etc. Parenting etc is something I see as navigating together, not just me slotting in with values / routines that he and ex have already decided upon being imposed on my future kids. No thanks.

“Never married, no kids” means I have my own single neurotic problems and difficulties, but you won’t have to deal with anyone else’s if you date me. I’m enough problem without adding more baggage to the relationship 😂

 😆the suitcases you see are all you need to unpack. No extra bags in the trunk🤣🤣🤣
helpful (0) 

There's just a lot of stigma around dating single mothers. Terms like damaged goods and baggage don't help.
Some men are pigs, and want you to feel inadequate and not like an attractive, sexual companion you could be, all because you have children who are number one priority.
I read this delightful blog, where the writer's opinion is "Unless you’re a pedophile, it is extremely unlikely that a woman with a child has anything to offer that’s of benefit to you that a woman without a child lacks. "

Everyone has baggage. Never married, no kids makes it seem lile they have less. The reality is, depending on age, there's probably something about them that is undesirable in a long term relationship.