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Sexless Marriage

by SAHM Staff Report

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Answers (17)

Real love is soooo much more than sex. Some marriages rely on it too much, take it away & there's not much left.

 Sex is hormonally important to the bonding of a romantic pair. It would be very difficult for most relationships to flourish without this hormonal assistance which continues to strengthen bonds.
It's biological.

helpful (4) 
 BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


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 It's all about soul
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But yet the woman get all upset when their husband has been to an escort or massage! You chose that he didn't remember that and a marriage is two ways and compromise stop being selfish

 What?
I don’t understand what you are trying to say

helpful (3) 
 He didn't remember what? That he has the ability to keep his dick in his pants?
helpful (4) 
 You chose the sexless marriage not him and it isn't all about you! Don't get upset if he seeks comfort elsewhere. He has sexual needs and desires to and to without sex because you don't want it isn't fair
helpful (1) 
 I'm in a sexless marriage, not my choice, my husband too "tired/old/can't get up", etc etc so you're saying that makes it completely acceptable to go and f**k everyone else because I didn't choose that? Utter bullshit! Unless it's an open marriage it's still not acceptable and I'd be a shitty person if I cheated to "get mine". Honestly people, have some self discipline
helpful (3) 
 Sex can be a real need for some just because you are married doesn’t mean your libido just disappears after a decade of marriage. People change just because you chose monogamy in a sex fuelled relationship doesn’t mean you should continue monogamy in a marriage that becomes sexless.
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My marriage was VERY sexless (my own doing) then my health improved and honestly I cannot keep my hands off my husband! I don't share this info with my friends, because they seem to complain about sex and I love it, so I don't want to seem weird and they might think I'm bragging 🤷‍♀️ sex is so much fun, and we barely fight anymore (ours fights were very angry and loud and we wouldnt talk for days) because the sex makes me feel more close and connected. Not saying this is the case for everyone though, sex is not the only factor, but it definitely helps us. I get sad if we do argue now, because all's I'm thinking is I hope we're not fighting for too long, because I will miss the sex hahaha. Anyway, I really hope every one of you has, or finds, someone who can give you the happiness you deserve.

I am in a sexless marriage and it sucks. There is no real reason for it and I have talked about it on here before. I can't really leave him over it so I just have to deal with it on my own.

I'm pretty sure my marriage is bordering on sexless, but that's cos my husband is the one too exhausted to put out. I feel like I'm entitled to sex though 😂

I had a sexless marriage for many years - about 15 years of my 24 year marriage - which I discovered after I kicked him out, that he was actually having affairs with men behind my back for the last 8 years or so of our marriage. So, I married a gay man, who used me and my 4 kids to hide his orientation, while he lied to me and the kids, stole money, and spent all his time screen addicted and going out to "work" at his home business.....

 Ouch! That's harsh
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 On you I mean. Not him
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I’ve been in a sexless marriage for a year now. Over the years I have found he is more into jerking off then having sex with me. Over the last year though I had found his cream and realised that’s why he hasn’t been having sex with me. I tried everything from getting dressed up to being naked in the bed when he came home. I got on the pill so that we wouldn’t get pregnant again. I now have lost my labido from being on the pill and hence we havnt had sex in a year. We get along otherwise but I feel like I’m just co existing with a friend for our kids sake. I love him but I feel unwanted and like he doesn’t want to make time for me.

 It sux hey. I feel like my husband and I are flat mates raising kids together. It’s not in my nature to look for sex elsewhere. The rejection and feeling unwanted is really hard to handle.
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I am a 44yr old SAHM.
My husband isn’t very interested is sex where as I am. My sex drives has always been higher and it’s getting higher as the children get older.
We have lots of opportunities and even went for a week away recently without children but the intimacy was minimal.
My husband is ok around the house but I would rather sex . I feel like a sex pest and have decided to stop asking. I am so torn between making my peace with it or looking outside the marriage.
I don’t think I can be happy in a sexless relationship. It make me feel so connected and alive, I feel hollow without it.

It’s no wander so many men cheat!

 Some men cheat even when they get lots of sex. Some men get lazy when married, or in long term relationships. Happy to take & not give. They generally just need to be nice guys & do normal relationship stuff, like respect, love, kindness, empathy, supporting their partner & helping with the kids & house. Try not turn into arseholes, then blame their partner for changing, when it can be them that's changed & caused a change. Of course, switch the genders.
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 Its wonder
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 did you read this feed? Its mostly woman wanting sex but the men they are with cant or wont!
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I am currently in a sexless marriage. By my chosing.
My husband and I have been together for 11 years. We both used to smoke, but i quit in 2008 a year before we got married. My husband still smokes and i cant handle it. They say an ex smoker is worse than a non smoker and that is very true in my case. He permanently stinks and it puts me off so much and then he couples that woth drinking like a fish and all i can smell is the alcohol seeping through his sweat. His father was an alcoholic and I see my husband having a problem too.
He is a good man, always helps out in the house and is a great dad to our 2 toddler sons, but i find myself wondering if I am still in love with this man. I do love him, he is the father of our children and he will always hold a special place in my heart, but I honestly don't find myself wanting to have sex or even really touch him anymore. He holds my hand and all I smell is smoke on my hands, he leans in for a kiss and I can smell the alcohol on his breath. To put it bluntly, he disgusts me. But then I feel bad for actually saying that, because he is so good in so many other ways. I find myself thinking: when last did you brush your teeth, when he tries to kiss me.
He has stopped asking for sex, but every now and again he tries to touch my leg or hold me while we sleep and I push him away saying I'm too hot, or he stinks. I would like to think that if he quit smoking things would be different, but maybe i just don't love him anymore. What do I do, just stick it through for the kids sake, or cut loose and leave?

 Dont stay for the kids sake, you will damage them more being in a unhappy marriage.
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I’ve been with my partner for 5 years and the only time we have sex is when he feels like it. And it’s usually over pretty quickly and I never get to climax
I feel like he uses it as a way to hurt me or try to get me to loose weight. I’ve had two children with him 15 months apart and once I was pregnant he wouldn’t touch me. He thought it was weird knowing there was a baby in there.
Sometimes he makes excuses like he won’t have sex if the children are in the house but occasionally he initiates it when they are which doesn’t make sense.
He’s always commenting on how my body has changed after having kids but I already had 3 other children from my first Marriage and not a lot has changed.
I actually can’t remember the last time we had sex I’ve given up trying to get affection from him because the rejection hurts too much I love sex but would just be happy to cuddle but I don’t even get that anymore I’m not going to beg
I worry because I don’t want to cheat but I’m so starved for affection I think I could if put in the situation and it so not me

My situation is a little different because it’s a medical issue causing my sexless marriage. Hubby is impotent due to a medical condition. We have tried every medical Intervention - viagra, injections, but no luck. I am a very sexual person, would be happy to have sex every day but since this issue, he won’t even touch me. Have tried to be understanding as I think it makes him sad to engage in any sexual contact - reminds him of what he’s lost. But it breaks my heart to think I’ll never have sex again.

 Can I ask what the medical condition is?
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 He is a type 1 diabetic, insulin dependent, has been for 40 years. Blood doesn’t flow where it’s supposed to go.
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I have been with my husband for 10 years - married 5. We have 2 kids. The youngest being 1 yr old and super clingy to me. I love him to bits and I know he is always wanting sex but after looking after our two kids and working 8 hours a day I am exhausted. In saying that though if he lasted longer then 3-5 mins and didn’t finish every time when I was close then I would make more time for it.

It just never happens.
We are uterly exhausted, 4 kids under 7, last 2 are twins, both work full time and have different days off. He is only home one night a week, other nights Im in bed before him and dont even wake when he comes in.
After reading everyone elses problems, I wonder why we cant do it...
Great Personal Hygiene ✅
Attraction, he a adores me and I him ✅
Lust, we are forever copping a feel as we go about our day ✅
Household tasks/Chores, we are 50/50 we pick up each others slack✅
Respect, Love, the works ✅

We both want it, but it just never happens.

We are headed that way. I’ve had a few health issues and have put on 15kg in 2yrs. I’m bordering on a size 16 Aus. He’s told me before that he’s not really that attracted to me anymore because of the weight.
On the weekend I mentioned I was buying new swimwear for our family holiday - he just snapped and told me off for not exercising. He fat shamed me. Now I feel like he’s embarrassed to be seen on a beach with me.
Why would I now feel comfortable having sex with him?
He’s not initiated it for a long time ... doubt he will for a while.
So much for unconditional love

 If he has openly told you he is not attracted to you because of the weight gain, isn’t there something you can do to help lose weight? I know it’s hard but if he sees you making an effort it might go a long way. And no I don’t believe he should have to be attracted to you because you have pit on weight. He is not shallow he is human.
helpful (3) 
 Yes and no
He is human and physical attraction is primal I guess
But there’s more to a marriage than physical connection
I’m still the same person I was 15kg ago!

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