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Special Ask SAHM Announcement - Great News! Our Psychologist project is about to start. This is your chance - if you could ask a fully qualified Clinical Psychologist absolutely ANYTHING, what would you ask? Please ask your question in comments below, and we will submit them to our team of psychologists. They will choose 10 - 12 of these questions to answer on video, and we will post the video on the SAHM website very soon (we'll let you all know when the post is live!) This is all completely anonymous, so ask away.....

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Answers (26)

I'm 38 weeks pregnant with my first, and I'm worried that my husband will love the baby more than he loves me.

 That's common with your hormones. But if anything he will love you more after your child is born and your love for him will get stronger also. It's hard to explain but it's a different kind of love for your kids one that you have never had before which then makes you love your other half more for giving you this child. You go in to a beautiful honeymoon period.
helpful (0) 
 It's him who should be worried, you will love your baby more than him.
helpful (2) 

My husband was diagnosed with PTSD and Anxiety 8 years ago. This has been treated well with medication and counselling. Occasionally things slip through but I think these are more personality traits than his mental illness. Eg, flying off the handle at what I consider small things, stressing over his appearance and weight to the point of obsession, not wanting to be social etc. He has told me he has seen his mum go through similar things as a child. My question is how do I raise our 3 children to be strong and confident and not suffer he way my husband has? I can already see our 10 year old son displaying some anxious tendencies...

why does it have to be answered on video?

SAHM Staff They are answering on video as they won't be able to answer them on here due to time constraints and difficulty with anonymous posting. It'll be easier for people to find rather than it being all higgledy piggledy in here where it might get lost - and everyone will be able to see that it's actual psychologists answering the questions! We are just trying the idea to see if it works and helps people at the same time :-)
helpful (2) 

My 3 and a half year old had started going backwards in his development. Wants to be carried everywhere, wants me to feed him with a spoon even tho he's always fed himself, wants me to come with him everywhere even watch him on the potty, crawling round the house instead of walking, will lie down and demand I dress him when he's always dressed himself, and just really clingy and babyish all of a sudden. He has a 1 and a half year old sister that he gets along with really well and he can't be copying her because she is really independent, (I'm 12 weeks pregnant but nothing's changed, and havn't really talked about baby much) no recent changes, hasn't started kindy, moved house or anything, and hasn't stayed with anyone without one of us so no chance anything's happened to him. Is this a normal stage? Or should there be something I'm doing to fix it? What can I do?

My brother is an ice addict. His addiction impacts my siblings and parents financially, emotionally and tears a wedge between us as some enable while others have turned to the tough love approach. He is never going to quit, completely denies there is even a problem. We live in a rural town and here is no help around us what so ever. We have been to doctors, drug and alcohol counsellors, police, mental health professionals and social workers. There is one group here to offer support for families however we did not belong there as we really didn't fit in socioeconomically we stood out as we are all working, educated and well spoken. It just wasn't for us. Do you have any advice?

How do get my husband to understand my depression? I have suffered with it for 15years now and have it mostly under control naturally but still have bad days/weeks here and there.
He can't seem to wrap his head around it, he always says "what do you have to be sad about" or "just snap out of it" " you don't have depression, that's for people who can do anything and have miserable life".
I have tried getting him to read things but he just doesn't.
The days I suffer I need him to understand but he doesn't. So how can I help him to understand?

 Just my personal opinion, take him to your Doctors appointment and have the Dr explain to him what depression is, and it's not something you can just g over, or snap out of, especially on a bad day.
Good luck by the way - Depression is challenging. I wish you and your part all the best.

helpful (3) 
 Maybe have a look at the black dog institute for some ideas? They have a great amount of info on there and it may help him to see what it's like in black and white. Good luck
helpful (0) 

I have no idea if you can help me, but I am at a loss and have no idea what else to do.

Before I met my husband he was getting payday loans to pay bills then when he got paid didn't have enough to pay them back so got another and everything spiralled out of control. Fast forward 5 years we own a house, 2 cars and have substantial savings no need for the payday loans ever again. But I have just found out he has been getting then $100 at a time every few months. He always pays them straight back but says he's addicted to them, that even though he doesn't need the money he cant get over the thrill of the application and then receiving the money. He told me he wants to get help because its becoming all consuming for him and he thinks about it multiple times a day. Where would we go to get help for his type of addiction? I have no idea where to start.

I have known a couple of people who have lost their babies at birth. I think this has affected me. I am often having scary thoughts about something happening to my kids or fear they will die in a car accident or similar. I act pretty normally, eg I'm not crazy helicopter parent, but the thoughts are still at the back of my head. How do I deal with these thoughts in a positive way and think more normally? By the way the thoughts are only about my kids, not me or hubby. So that's why I think its related to the incidents I mentioned.

My Husband has a Chronic illness. It's unlikely to kill him on the short term but as he ages he will get more debilitated. He's in his early 40's and is coming to terms with never working again, and will soon have to step aside so I can return to the workforce when my twins start school.
How Can I support him to see that being an At Home Dad is super important? I've asked him if he thinks I am a loser for being an At Home Mum for the last 3.5 years and he says no, but he often refers to himself as 'useless'.
I don't have to energy to keep propping him up. Or do I? Is there a trick to it?

How do you stop yourself from self rebellion. At nearly 40 I seem to be my own worst enemy. Unable to find the inner voice to move on task and just do it.

What to do with elderly parents that rely on you for emotional support whilst you are working a full time job, bringing up two kids and have a husband and mortgage. I find them very demanding to the point where they are unrealistic, it's always about them and I can't have friends because they demand all of my time. My kids are suffering too. They call constantly or come over unannounced.

 This is going to sound harsh... but who raised you? Who was there for your emotional/financial support. Your parents won't be around forever.
helpful (0) 
 move or pretend you arent home
helpful (0) 
 I don't think it is harsh what you are saying but I don't have a life of my own they interfere all the time. I appreciate what they did for me but there comes a point where a parent needs to trust and let go of their offspring. I won't be guilted into feeling I don't have a right to have a life, interests or friends of my own. Boy they are so draining.
helpful (1) 

Suggestions to Help with :
1) Dealing with your husband affairs.
2) Dealing with anxious kids.
3) Temper issues.

 1) leave
2) your kids anxiety is related to the tension and stress in the house. So leave
3) leave. It's affecting your kids

helpful (5) 
 Yes, id like advice on dealing with husbands affair and putting a marriage back together too. Its not as clear cut as 'just leave' for some people. We are both committed to putting us back together and so far doing ok i think. But god it hurts so much.
helpful (2) 

We need help!!!! We are struggling with my 6 year old behaviour he is doesn't listen he is getting angry while my husband and I love him we are struggling to enjoy our time with him because everything is a fight . He is currently in year 1 at school his teacher has said he is great at school very independent and pro active with his learning is very well behaved
Why is he so difficult for us at home??????

 Im also having the same issues with mynearly 5 yr old daughter iv tried everything she is gd for a few hrs than the fighting will start again ...
helpful (0) 
 My son is 6 and does this also. He does this due to anxiety. When he is stressed it gets really bad. This was true last year when he was being bullied. I have learnt that it is quite normal for him to be well behaved when out and about, as home is where he is most comfortable and we are the ones he is most comfortable with so we get the behaviour. I would try talking to him to find out if there is anything upsetting him. It may also take a parenting course or psychological intervention for your son's behaviour. Start with your GP.
helpful (0) 

We lost our twins just over 12 months ago. I still am not coping. Still seeing a psychologist and on medication. I had to return to work as a midwife. I dont know what else i can to do to survive each day. I hate that I wake up in the morning

 I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain you have gone through and are still going through. I hope the psychologist answers you and is able to find some way to help you *hugs*
helpful (4) 

I believe I have a question that the clinical psychologist will answer.

Can you please tell me how to explain about the loss of her newborn sister? She has visited the hospital and talked to to her and kissed her and was aware she came from mummy's tummy. But we have to switch off her life support and I am not sure how to let her know baby is not coming home.

Thank you.