Got an Answer?
I'm going through this right at this very moment. Literally.
Life has been much less stressful with this person out of my life but they are trying to get back in via my partner. I am deadset against this toxic, vile person and I'd love for them to fall off the face of this earth and have nothing to do with me or my children. They love them though but as children, they are not aware of how this person affects our lives. Moreso mine.
I had a very toxic relationship with my Dad and his wife. it caused so much drama and anxiety that I did cut them off and life was a heck of a lot easier. Except for the kids. They really missed their granddad. For the sake of the kids we reconciled under our own rules. Part of it was the thought that one day I was going to have to explain to them as adults why I stopped them from seeing their granddad and have I done enough to foster that relationship our just let my own problems get in the way.
My family had a strained relationship with both sides. We moved away, far away. Now they treasure the limited amount of time they get with us.
We needed distance they (our family) had way to much say in how we lived our lives. Also, everything was a drama their jobs are not demanding and some don't work so they can cultivate this crap but we are busy professionals who concentrate on our kids and our jobs. They offered support but it always came with big strings attached and it wasn't the way I wanted things done anyway. Leave and don't look back, we keep in touch and visit once a year it is enough. Having a relationship and being control by other people are two different things all together. Put up those boundaries they need to learn to respect you.
I cut off my sister because she majorly ripped my mum off however i allow my nieces and nephews to sleep over and visa versa. I have nothing to do with her besides the kids- we send pics of each others kids and communicate only about them. She is a shit human- but a good mother so i know she looks after mine while they are there
My SIL is jealous of us and doesn't want anything to do with us - its her choice I'be happy to be best buddies but I'm not responsible for her thoughts.
from my own personal experience I would say that cutting out toxic family members even my own mother was the best thing I have ever done. Yes I grieved for awhile even though it was my choice. I grieved for the person that I thought they were and had to come to the realisation that they were never going to change, once that was done my life took off. I finally became the mum I wanted to be and Ive continued to grow and evolve into someone that I'm proud of. I never thought life could be so drama and stress free, it's a whole new world. Some relationships are beyond councilling unfortunately. It sounds like you already know what you want, go with your gut. You could always try some distance for awhile then make your decision after that. Good luck for you, you are aloud to have a drama free life.
I cut my family out about 18 months ago. I have been a hell of a lot happier without their influence in my life. But my children do ask to see them and I am considering reconciling for their sake. I will be making my expectations clear though, and if they don't come to the party, then I can say I tried...