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Allowing in-laws to come on family holidays?

We have planned our first family holiday in 5 years for next month. We've recently been through a tough time health wise with one of our kids so are looking forward to the break. Problem is we have just found out that my MIL is planning on coming here for a visit while we are away. She never asks if it's a good time. Just informs us of her dates and expects us to accomodate her. She has invited herself on our last 2 interstate holidays. The only thing she pays for are her flights. Food, accomodation, attractions, travel are expected to be payed for by us. To be honest, she makes her time with us hell and is a bitch to me and our kids. My SIL lives in the same town as us so she is expecting to split the time with my MIL with us. I feel awful but we aren't saying anything about us going away yet because we dont want her inviting herself again. Last time after we specifically said it was a holiday just for the kids she just turned up.
Are we being selfish not saying anything yet?


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Answers (14)

Pack your shit discreetly and drive off at 5am the morning shes arriving. Leave a note in your sils post box.

If you tell her now she has time to manipulate the situation. Leave it as long as possible to avoid discussing the issue with her. Then when she does find out or you tell her be very specific about why she is not invited - family time only, accomodation restrictions, financial constraints, dedicating time for kids only. She sounds like quite the manipulator so good luck!

You're spending good money on a holiday, make sure you're going to enjoy it ! Say no, there's no room or something.

Clean your house before you go. Give ur sil a key the day ur leaving so she can let ur mil stay there.... and enjoy your holiday :)

Has she confirmed her plans with you and her intention to stay personally or juSt through SIL? if you've said yes she can stay at your place you'll have to do some back tracking!! Otherwise just wait a few weeks till she says she's coming to stay and say "no sorry we've actually made other plans, well have to see you next time". Tell her it's unfortunate that she didn't give you more notice as it would have been lovely to see her so next time she'll have to give you more warning. Say you have all been looking forward to your family get away so you can have time to focus on just the 4/5/11 of you and build some memories with the family, and you'll be sure to send her some photos in the post. Then vaguely suggest that you might visit her in x months insteas. Don't say where you're going, don't say when, if hubby wants to say more that's up to him but tell him to be very direct and that she is simply not to come.

Put her in her place.

 I've tried in the past but she is so emotionally manipulative. Last time she was here she put our childs health in danger. Even after we had to take him to the hospital, she denied any wrong doing. Then after I proved it was her, she cried to the family saying she thinks she has ....autism.
I kid you not.

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 I'm a bit more blunt than most people and of course that gets me into trouble alot. But I would have my husband back you up and block her at every turn....just say no at every inquiry, every manipulation, every sympathy cry. I would do it verbally in front of other family too. Otherwise it will get worse. The older some get the most manipulative. And I work in aged care, I've seen some at their best.
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 Oh my god. That is funny but so not fuunny
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DONT DO IT!!! Save your sanity and your family's!!! Enjoy your time together.

Pack your suitcases and go!!! Have a amazing time with your family.
Your MIL will just have to get over it.

You are allowed to have a happy family holiday. Have you booked accommodation yet? Don't tell her where you are staying.

 We have. We booked it about 3 months ago. Well before we knew she was coming over.
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 Sorry i feel bad for writing that.
Can your husband talk to her and explain you will be away at that time and you would love for her to visit another time? Or say there is no room in your accom?

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She sounds like a piece to rival my MIL! All the advice about keeping quiet on your holiday plans sounds really good to me... My MIL was expecting us to travel to her for Christmas this year (we alternate families as we are spread across the country), but we decided to stay home and have a quiet family Christmas (saving $3k on airfares alone). She's then decided to come and stay the week before Christmas which was fine as it didn't encumber our plans, but then announced last week that she and her new boyfriend would be staying with us for Christmas Day too. No do you mind, what do you have planned, just an I'm coming and it's not negotiable! Grrrr! She's even tried to invite herself to my parents where she isn't welcome because of how rude she was to them when they first met each other (at the birth of our first child - apparently it was unreasonable that we would want to spend time with my family). I told her next year we'd probably go overseas in the hope she'd catch on we want alone time, but now she's started hounding us for info on where we're going so she (and her boyfriend) can come too. God forbid we actually say she's not welcome because the world will end and I'll be the devil lol!

F*&king MIL's !!!
Sounds like something mine would do.