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I left my 11 years marriage and regreting now..

I left my marital home , 27/11/2019.Because it was a loveless, hopeless, financial, verbal and emotional abusive relationship. I felt I was wasting my 11 years of life for that marriage. I found a new rental and moved out. The plan was to start my already postponed studies on the 2nd week of December. 1st week of a new home was so happy as I felt I was brave enough to leave an abusive relationship and start everything from scratch by myself. But, since then I'm crying in bed, no sleep until 2-3 am in the mornings. Then, the next day morning starts with crying. I don't know what to do. It's been weeks now, I can't still come to terms to start studies, didn't go to part-time work since Christmas. Everything is stuck now. But, to my husband, he quickly bought a new tv,new furnitures and arranged the home like a whole new house. I feel like, I have done a mistake by leaving that beautiful home. And I missed him.. Even though we fight a lot before.
What should I do?

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Answers (9)

Wow he did what? Buy some furniture? Who cares! We all know buying things doesn’t make you happy! Sorry I just had to say that out loud!

Honey you have put way too much pressure and stress on yourself by having these intentions to study at this time, 6months sure...but immediately? Please don’t believe the rubbish in tv that lift is so easy and super mum’s are everywhere ready to work five jobs, open a business, raise smart kids and of course go to the gym. It’s not true. Be easier on yourself and don’t worry about anyone else. You are already awesome for making such a brave decision..arguing all the time was never going to change and you have made a tough decision so that you can grow and you know it. Growing is like breaking out of an egg shell, it hurts but you release a whole new you. Take some time please,, read for fun and enjoy your life!

 I agree give yourself time to heal before launching into a new life.
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Starting again is always hard. And when a relationship ends you go through a kind of grieving process, which is what you’re doing now. Think about the reason you left, and think about what would make you more happy.....being surrounded by beautiful things but at the same time while living with a man who treats you poorly, or living in a rental having to build your life again, but living it in your terms and without a person telling you you’re worthless.

 ^^this. Well said babe:)
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Get counseling

 Agree, you are having a situational crisis from the sounds of it. Counseling may help clear your head. See your gp too, maybe they can offer some strategies to help with your depression
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You are grieving the loss of the relationship and the hopes and dreams you shared. Keep your wits about you, remember the reasons you left. Typically in a breakup the woman is initially really distraught and the man seems fine and does all the things youve mentioned your ex has done. Soon (maybe 6 months, maybe a year) you will be over it and moving on, suddenly he will want you back, you will reject him, then his grieving will start. Its important you know this so you dont go back to him when he starts begging you.

Keep moving forward, look after yourself, cry your heart out and forget about studying for at least 6 months. Good luck, try to hold on to that great feeling you had once you left.

 That’s exactly what happened to me. My partner of 9 years ended our relationship. I was heartbroken, he was living the life, partying etc. About a year on, I’m over him and life is good, and I’m happier than when I was with him. The one day, he comes over, says he made a mistake, no woman he’s met has compared to me etc etc and he wants me back. So satisfying telling him no!
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Whatever you do, don’t go back, you’ll regret that more than the challenges you’re experiencing now. Get some counselling or other support, they can provide some coping strategies to help you through. You are strong, you can do it.

Write down all the reasons you left so you can remind yourself and read it back later x

You are grieving - your relationship and the hopes/dreams of a happy/healthy relationship with your ex husband have ‘died’. I’ve been through this - please just know that it will get better - be kind to yourself and take things slowly. Remind yourself of why you left and how unhappy you were for such a long time.
Well done for leaving an abusive relationship - it’s really hard and you did it!!

Babe I'd start by going to see your doctor about your emotions. You did the right thing. Of course there are always going to be some regrets but did you really want to stay in that marriage forever. You should be proud of yourself for what you've done. Maybe you don't know what you want, but at least you know what you don't want. Good luck xxx

You like being abused

 And you like being a kunt. What's you're point?
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