Got an Answer?
Counseling.. both single and couples. If you believe your relationship is worth fighting for, fight. Do whatever it takes. But don't expect it to happen overnight but if your open to it and willing to both work things can change.
My anti depressants made me not feel anything for a few months while they were correcting my emotions, after I had taken them for a while, it settled and my emotions came back/evened out. It could be that or prehaps you are on to strong a dose, I agree with other peoples comments on here as well about therapy, but it is possible that if you felt that you could get passed the cheating before and work through it before you started the medication, that it might be the meds just another consideration. Good luck with whatever you decide :)
13 years together and one child, but fell out of love, he wanted counselling. Did it once but realised it wasn't worth it. Although coming from a family where everyone who married stayed together I realised I needed to leave him and make myself happy even if that meant giving my young child a life of divorced parents. Otherwise we are just teaching our children that you stay with someone even if you're not happy. I want my son to be able to feel like he can leave a relationship if he's not happy
Sounds identical to my story except I always had feelings for him. After 18months of trying I just could get past it and am separated. I'm much happier and we separated before we ended up hating eachother. We now have quite a good coparenting relationship.
Giving it time.. If your head says you want to make it work then give it time and you may start to grow feelings for him again. After going through the traumatic experience of infidelity and separation it makes sense that your feelings are shut down. Love and feelings of wanting intimacy with your partner can come back. Counselling can help and lots of understanding and patience from your partner to nurture and mend your fractured heart so it can grow to love him again is important.
Time and space to heal unpressured helped me fall back in love with the father of my children again and we are so much stronger and happier for it.
I wish you all the best.
Spend some time together see if you can get the spark back or just enjoy each others company.
1) do you think couples who have been together for 30+ years didn't go through hell at times? It's not what you go through its what you make it through together.
2) antidepressants can completely numb you from any feelings. Don't make decisions when your upset
3) you both cheated get over it! You can't hold it over each other's head
4) go get the book The 5 love lauguages read it! Do it together
5) take a vacation together, no kids. that's where the answer is...
If they weren't together they weren't together. Whether it was a day a week or a year. Yes it would have stung him but there was no actual betrayal
Infidelity is hard to get over. If you have also slept with another man what's the point of trying. You clearly both have moved on physically. If emotional feelings where their I don't think either of you would have strayed from your relationship with each other. If you are now on antidepressants that may also be a factor. But time & space is probably what you both need before you can fix the relationship fix yourself first. Good Luck.
I was hurt after my husband threw away everything and lied and threated me. But I still loved him and I want to love him again instead of feeling empty.
I'm going through the same thing (no cheating though) I have just moved out and we are currently working on things, he has already changed so much that I find myself falling for him again. Good luck in what ever you choose, hopefully whatever you choose makes you happy because that's all that matters.
I feel like this too. My husband had an emotional affair. It took a long time for him to admit that's what it was. He still sometimes denies it. It's very hard to feel the same way about someone after this kind of betrayal. On top of that he really doesn't treat me that well. He can be quite disrespectful and speaks to me horribly sometimes. I don't know if I'll ever feel anything for him other than the hated I feel when he's being horrible. I'm trying to love him again but I don't know how. Sorry I don't have any advice for you.. just wanted you to know you're not alone x
Op here- Thanks you for all the responses- I have finally told him how I feel... Have Moved into the spare room and I know I still care for him but right now I don't know if it's enough to stay.
Going to see if/hope things improve.
Marriage is meant to be a commitment for life not a a commitment until it doesn't feel good anymore. You can choose to stay and fight and learn to love again. But don't get confused with the lovey doves feelings you get at the start of a relationship, I'm talking about love that goes beyond those awesome but slightly superficial feelings. As hard as it is look to do things for him, no focusing on the things he doesn't do for you. Look to better yourself as a partner before listing all his faults. I can't imagine how tough it is and cheating is so hard to come back from but I really belive you can make it work and be truly happy, if you both try.
My ex husband and I went through a similar situation and we tried to fight but realized it wasn't worth it for us. We were starting to hate each other. So then I took a leap of faith and left. I moved on with my life and so did he. We are now friends for the sake of our child. It was the best decision for me, but you have to do what is going to make you happy. If you want to fight it out (which is kind of what I gather from your post), then give it all you have. Stop making excuses and do something about it. Not only for yourself but for your husband as well. Talk to him and let him know how you are feeling. He may br feeling the same way or feel as though everything is fine. Talk to him!!
If you are serious about making it work, see counselors. Spending time rebuilding your relationship is a must. remember how it was in the beginning where everything was shiny and exciting? you have both changed over the last 10 years and made different choices, get to know each other again and date, always remember to go on dates alone and with friends (minus the kids) make time for each other. if after a few months it isn't working and you are too different then maybe it is time to throw in the towel before things get bad for the kids.
Ive been with my husband for 12years 2kids, and im not happy im planing to travel to the US to meet my male friend ive known for 10years?that im slowly falling for. I havn't been happy for awhile since losing 16kg in 5months. I have no idea to tell him. We have been fighting for weeks now and every message i get hes straight onto saying whos this etc
Actually maybe you should do it because both your husband and kids deserve better then you.