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No support with step kids.

My partners kids visit every weekend and my partner lets them eat everything in the house except their dinner. I bake large batches of snacks and they can eat the lot in a weekend. I have told them they can't help themselves but their dad just lets them. Its really frustrating as I have nothing for my kids lunches on Monday. I have started shopping on monday instead and only baking a weeks worth of stuff a week but have been told off as its unfair on his kids. I make them a batch of muffins but that's not enough apparently. Does anyone else live in a situation where you and your kids suddenly forgotten when step kids visit?


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Answers (19)

His kids have their mother to bake for them. Tell him to bake for them if he feels it's unfair. They're his kids, let him put in the extra work.

Sorry? So you have 2 of your own children that live with you and your partner, and 2 of his children that visit on weekends? I think it's a little unfair to expect your partner to be there for your children and provide and co-parent, but when his kids come to visit you complain about them eating too much. Buy more food. Bake more stuff and appreciate that your partner helps with your children 7 days a week, you only have to help with his on 2 days.

 Um, I don't think her point is him not helping. It's their disrespectful behaviour and being greedy and scoffing down all the food she makes and him not correcting their behaviour that's the point. I have this issue with my own kids let alone someone else's! She already said she bakes extra. And then when dinner is put on the table they are not eating it! I would find that highly frustrating especially when you need to have recesses and snacks for school organised! He needs to help bring a bit more control to the situation, not just keep letting them do it.
helpful (3) 
 Exactly, she IS parenting his kids, he is letting them run amok and its bad for them too.
Her partner should not be 'telling her off' either.

helpful (1) 

I wouldn't be baking before they get there. If he or his kids ask where the snacks are, I would direct them to the kitchen and tell them the ingredients are in the pantry!
I would then bake for your own children's school week, Sunday night after your step kids have gone home.

OP Thats what I have been doing and I just got a big lecture over it.
helpful (2) 
 If he wants his kids to eat baked goodies then tell him he can bake for them himself. The kids are coming to visit HIM, not eat you out of house and home.
helpful (7) 
 ^exactly. Dont bake, get him to do it.
helpful (0) 

This sounds like a Dad is lazy issue. Cant be bothered making proper snacks so just lets them go to the cupboard and eat whatever. Maybe Dad should cook so he sees how much work goes into it.

 Yes that's the issue. He also lets my kids eat everything too but they have worked out they are the ones that will be getting less to eat during the week because of it.
helpful (0) 

Option 1: Get the kids involved in baking extra batches with you. Baking together might improve your bond and if they are genuinely helping it could ease off some of the stress of the extra cooking on you. Take it as a compliment that they like your cooking so much that they overeat.

Option 2: Buy lots of extra snacks from Woolies/Coles on sale and fill the freezer before they visit. Keep a hidden box outside of the kitchen (in your bedroom?) with a few extra prepackaged snacks for Monday's lunches for your kids just in case. If they can't see the stuff in the box they can't pinch it but will still have plenty to eat around the house.

Option 3: Stop cooking snacks altogether while they visit. Let your partner prepare something. Have lots of other brought snacks/fruit around and just cook dinner. Send your kids to school with tuckshop on the Monday and cook a big batch once the step kids have left.

Option 4: Some of the snacks you cook could include foods that your kids like but the step kids don't to ensure enough for Monday. E.g If the step kids hate blueberries but your kids love them, make a batch of blueberry muffins with the other snacks to ensure that some food is left for Monday lunches but that they still have food for the visit.

 I will be doing all of this!
helpful (0) 

Why not just put some snacks away where they can't get to them?

 I can't keep them out the laundry where the freezer is.
helpful (0) 

Make a double batch and freeze half? Some kids eat a lot if they are growing or coming into/going through puberty. (Assuming this is a possibility because they are old enough to help themselves.) This is. It to say that there shouldn't be some rules about eating supper, behaving, etc... but this seems like a silly thing that's easily avoided. If it's a money issue, tell your guy to pony up for more food.

 This is the problem I make huge batches to freeze and they eat the lot.
helpful (0) 

How much are you baking? If its only 12 muffins then that is not enough. You mention the kids are 8 and 10, and they may be able to eat a lot of food, much more than you, if they are active kids. One of my sons is incredibly active and he has eaten more than me since he was 3. It actually annoys me when he's going through a growth spurt as he will not stop eating and I end up at the supermarket every day. Maybe you need to make more food. It sounds like you also need to talk to your husband.

 Did you not read the bit where they refuse to eat their tea? They are being precious and their dad indulges them. Nothng to do with lack of food
helpful (0) 

Do you expect your partner to help or do things for your kids? Then what is so unusual about him expecting you to do things for his. If you know they're going to eat a lot, bake more to put away for school. You sound petty and I'm wondering if something else is the cause for your upset?

 I take care of his kids and am happy to cook for them, just not two weeks of food in a weekend.
helpful (1) 
 The rude way her partner talks to her and undermines her would be cause for upset.
helpful (1) 

Make more. I mean if they are eating everything you have put aside for the weekend and are still hungry then your not making enough. What you deem to be enough for them and what they do or what they get at tjeir mothers is maybe different. Are they older then your kids? If they are , maybe your used to making the amount for your kids but his eat eat more. I don't see this as a big deal, if they were all your kids and they were eating all of it on the weekend would you not just make more for during the week?

 If it was a case of not enough food it wouldn't be a problem. They eat this then won't eat lunch or dinner.
helpful (1) 
 You havent mentioned anything about not eating lunch or dinner before, you were just saying that ate all the food for your kids snack during the week.
then I would be limiting how much snacks they eat, not so your kids have some during the week because again make more, but so his kids are actually eating dinner. put it to their dad that way rather then its not fair my kids dont have any during the week and you might get a better response.

helpful (0) 
 Actually, she said they eat everything except for their dinner.
helpful (4) 
 Exactly, she clearly said they were filling up on snacks and not eating dinner. Why cant people read?
helpful (2) 

How old ae they? Older kids eat, constantly! I guess you're a good cook!!

 8 & 10 yes always eating.
helpful (0) 
 They are bottomless pits at that age. It's not their fault. It's just biology. Tell your man to give you some money or help
helpful (0) 
 No, its not biology for them to not eat their dinner and pig out on snacks, thats lazy parenting on their dad's behalf.
helpful (1) 

Stop complaining and just bake more. Seriously considering the range of problems that can exist between kids and step parents this is nothing!
Sounds like Ur more annoyed at their father for not stepping in but hey, at the end of the day you're going to do what you think is right for your kids, much like what your step kids father might be doing also.
It's petty really. Suck it up sunshine, they're just kids and you're the adult. Could be worse, they could be refusing to eat Ur cooking!

OP Last weekend the kids (my kids too) got through 24 muffins, a musli slice and how ever many sausage rolls 2 kilos of sausages roll mince makes. I didn't bake this much Friday just muffins which were gone by sat morning. They just had to eat bought musli bars and fruit after that. They actually ate their dinner. I am hanging up my apron!
helpful (1) 

I have different step kid issues- mine is that i am told i cant buy certain things for our kids eg. Baby due soonish and need a set of drawers for baby clothes (decent set that will last- i am paying for it) he goes mad n tells me to look at garage sales etc yet if step kids want $90 vans or whatever (usually expensive shoes) its totally fine no questions asked. In your situation i would tell him to learn to bake with them or id just buy cheap stuff from woolies- muffins, chips n shit.

OP It can be so frustrating. Just buy the good draws they will last longer.
helpful (3) 
 I had this issue, his child would get brand name stuff and my kids just got Kmart stuff. I eventually kept our money separate and paid half the bills etc. He could spend what he liked and so could I.
helpful (2) 
 I find this so sad. My husband wants quality especially for our children's things. Would never dream of saying i pay for a set of drawers. Our family,'our money.
helpful (3) 

Nobody's mentioned that eating all that in essentially one go is probably really unhealthy too. Snacks for a whole week, eaten up over 2 days? And running out by the end. Sounds like they need to learn about self control.

Additionally, could it be that they don't get treats with mum? Or even the opposite? All they eat is treats?

Maybe also a GI thing? Maybe try low GI options if you don't already so that they're fuller for longer?

Buy a fridge Locker on Lock up everything you don't want them to eat. That's what I did.