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Birthday update

So my question did get deleted lol.

It was a very weird morning. I ended up talking to him, well crying at him.
Not my finest moment. I don’t know why I got so upset. This has happened so many tines before.
Probably because my kid was hyping up the card for two days (she picked it and it was awesome and had an epic family portrait.) and she also mention how daddy wanted to get me a boring card but she made sure I got the coolest card there was.

In fact she made my whole birthday amazing. She spend the entire day spoiling me in every way she could. She made the biggest deal out of my birthday.

I got pretty angry at his excuse expecially since I finished work and there still was not a nice note , at this point iv completely resigned to the fact he’s incapable of it.
I’ll just continue to focus on all the things he does for me.
It is what it is.

I didn’t see any replies. It got deleted before I did.

Men eh. Lucky he’s very good and generous at massages.

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Answers (5)

I too said that he is most probably incapable of it. Some men simply cannot manage words, either verbal or written. Its like an incapacity. Its not that they dont want to, its that they simply dont know how to. Their brains simply dont know how to process it. Like some people cant read maps, and if they try to navigate they stuff it up completely.
Emotional intelligence is something that is learned, and from family primarily. Some people have childhoods where its not developed.
But, some of the men who are really good with words cannot be trusted. The words "I love you" can roll off their tongues, but its no guarantee that they do.
So, just lap up those massages, and drop hints about things that you would like done for you, since he shows love through acts of service.

I didnt see your original question but im sorry he made you feel sad and cry. Sounds like you have a very special daughter. Happy birthday xx

I'd prefer a massage over a card any day. I'm 7 months pregnant and begging my husband for even a quick foot rub and he refuses to give me one

 Sounds like he will act single when bubs arrives
helpful (0) 
 Poor love, I know how that goes! My husband doesn't "do" foot rubs. And any massages he gives feel like he's trying to inflict a mild form of torture. Like calm down mate, I'm a delicate fu****g flower, not a dough to be kneaded and squished. You're 7 months along? Hang in there. When I've had my babies, I've always gotten a gentle leg and foot rub by the nurses afterwards. But it was for circulation reasons (after c sections). But I'm sure if you ask very sweetly they'll oblige.
helpful (0) 

In concentrating on the things he does do maybe also be thankful that the card was a step in the right direction and thank him for it. He is more likely to buy another card if he feels appreciated for it. It may take time but maybe you guys could work on growing each other’s emotional intelligence, yours may be good but he can see he grows with you then. I think if he found some emotional intelligence and felt appreciated for the card in a few years he may be able to put them together

I saw your question and there was a few replies can't see why it would get deleted there was nothing nasty? Very strange. I wrote in it basically what u said that he's just not capable but sounds like he did try and loves u just not capable in that area or good with words. I wrote to ask for something material next time he might be better with that xxx