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Emotional cheating

Have you ever had an emotional affair? How did you pull yourself out of it? I can feel myself starting to develop a crush on an old friend. But I love my husband so much. I would never act on this. But I'm starting to feel addicted to talking with this guy. We only talk online (he lives in my home country) but his words are so sweet and it would be so easy to fall in love with him. He's saying everything I wish my husband would say. I've spoken to my husband about what I need from him emotionally but he's an old school mans man who doesn't show his feelings like that. He was raised to be strong and emotions were weakness. He shows his love by groping me, and through orgasms (that's great and all but I need words of affection and gestures).
How do I stop myself from finding too much comfort in the words of others?
I need to stop this and work on myself and my marriage before it gets worse.


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Answers (5)

Online chatting is a delusion, this guy can edit and say things sitting like a loser in front of his computer. I think you’re just lonely and like most people in this country you need to smell the roses and get some hobbies, get off your phone, it isn’t your husbands job to be your everythin(I’m not saying you think this), but it’s important you realise this

 I agree but people can do the very same things to your face. Tell you things you want to hear and be just as disingenuous. Of course, the net has made it so much easier for these kinds of people.
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Your husband not meeting your emotional needs is no reason to cheat. If you are really worried you need to block this other man before you cross into that territory. For you both it is fun and exciting, you can both be whoever you want to be while talking. You and your husband aren’t putting in the effort because simply you don’t have to, you’ve both landed the fish in the boat and don’t need to worry about baiting the line or reeling it in. This other man has the time to talk to you that way because he is waiting for you to take the hook and enjoying the scenery along the way. But just remember all that time you took to put the hook on, bait the fish and bring it in that you have spent on your husband and vise versa, you’re letting that go when you cheat for the thrill of the catch and then after you get them in the boat it will be the same problem. Is it really worth it?

I would tell your husband. I wish I told mine before I cheated. An emotional affair turns physical no matter how strong willed you think you are but the addiction grabs hold and there’s no turning back. I’m 2 years into my affair, I’ve also started swinging with my affair partner (my marriage is sexless so no risk of passing anything on).

 In your situation, I’m curious what you think would have changed had you told your husband earlier?
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