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I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and my sister had been disfellowshipped. So that meant I couldn't talk to her or acknowledge her existence until she came back. It felt so wrong but I was only young and that was the rule.
I'm older now and have left that religion. I haven't formally renounced my exit from the religion, due to the fact I still want to talk to my parents. Although we don't talk everyday like we used to. And they don't want to hear about my life. As in, celebrating holidays or birthdays. So in a way I feel like I'm alone. Since all of my family are JWs and they all hang out and do stuff together and I'm left out because it's only for religious things.
I'm sorry you feel alone and that your family have cut ties. It makes me sad that something so trivial can make family treat each other so bad. Religion..its so fu***d.
It is possible to develop new support groups among new friends you make if family have deserted you, if you make a real effort to make those new friends, particularly among people in similar situations to yourself. There are a lot of very lonely isolated Mums out there. And plenty of people in mixed marriages, both cultural, religious, and racial.
You did not say if you are happily married, but if so, what about hubbies family ? How do you get on with them ? Some people get on really well with their MIL and find greater support there than from their own biological mothers. And SIL's, who can be like your own sisters.
If they have treated you like that they don't love you, and resent the fact that you don't let them have power over you; their so called "love" is conditional on bending you to their will, or making you conform to their demands.
It is a lot more common in this country that you might imagine.
And even within one racial or religious group, mother in laws can be a major problem, because they see you as a threat to their control over their son. Some are quite spiteful, manipulative, almost verging on psychotic. Being on the receiving end of that behaviour can be just as difficult and upsetting as what you are going through.
Many people have to run away from their birth family when they grow up, change their name, move states, and set up a completely new life in order to rise above birth family behaviour that would drag them down.
Good luck with making new friends, and hold your head up high, and don't look back.
I lost most of my extended family when I married into the Catholic Church. Apparently, I was supposed to marry a good Protestant boy (preferably one who either had a white collar job or one who worked in the church) and attend church every Sunday and smile and play the perfect Stepford wife.
They made it known from the day they first met him, that they didn't like him, that he wasn't good enough, and that I'd be disappointing them if I didn't immediately dump him and start talking to that "sweet ******* boy again".
I come from an old political family. They have friends in both of the two major parties, so when the son of a local member for parliament asked me out on a date (before I met my now husband) my family really pushed me to make it into a serious relationship.
After we announced our engagement, my family suddenly cut ties. My aunts, uncles, and cousins. My grandparents still talk to me. But I think it's because they're hoping we get divorced. Then they can set me up with that other lad again.
We are the other way around I decided to go to church and my family cut me off. I was not 'preachy' or anything like that! But they felt I thought I was 'too good' for them now. This is not true at all. Only contact is when I call my parents or take the kids over. Sad they find it so confronting that I married a religious person. Sometimes I think it's because him and his family is well off that they are intimidated...
Hi all been cut off family sucks and hurts very much when you try to do right by everyone. Unfortunately when you do that the only people hurt are ourselves. You get no thanks or respect for it only people making you feel less of a valued person. Concontrate on the people in your life that matters to you. The people who accepts you for who you are. And above all create memories of things with those people whether they are children, adults, or friends . I'm estranged from my in laws because after 35 years of insults and bulling I spoke my mind . As for my siblings .....they are too wrapped up in their own lives to care. Just remember look at forward not back . Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery that is why today is called a present
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Being cut off from family is a terrible feeling, especially when you have done nothing wrong. We cut off a manipulative, controlling, narcissistic mother in law because life is too short to deal with that kind of drama and behaviour. However once we did that we also lost other family members who didn't agree with our decision. It's a bit different to your situation but I understand part of what you are going through. We've made attempts to reconnect with family and they just ignore our messages. ITS hard but we've had to try and let it go and focus on the family we do have. For us having the mil back in our lives is not ever going to happen, if that means we lose other family that is the price we are willing to pay. I guess you need to consider if your beliefs or your family is more important as it looks like you can't have both :( it's a terrible choice you have to make :(
My aunty cut me off because I said I won't own my Hoke to refugees and I think we need to help our own first. Been 3 years and she still won't speak to me lol