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Dont use the word ‘pegged’ when talking about your daughter, its 2019 ‘pegged’ means fu****g your husband up the arse with a strap on dildo 😵
So we are talking about Pegging now are we? 🤣😂😂😂😂😂😅😂😂😂 I love you guys hahahha
I think you've fallen down a rabbit hole of being obsessed with your daughter's appearance as well as her school social life and it's going to cause you many, many issues in the future.
I tell you this as a mother of 3 now teenage daughters with experience of it myself.
Unless she is truly being bullied or truly bullying someone else you need to just let it go, let her play with whoever she likes, ignore the other parents (if there really are any saying these things you claim), let her just go through the motions of being a kid.
It’s honestly something that’s kinda shaped a lot of her, infact her social anxiety I beleive has been made worse because there is always attention on her and has been firm day one.
We just got back from the shops and 4 people in the space of 15 minutes made remarks toward it, everyone looks at her when she walks.
Every other person (complete strangers) to to engage with her.
I have 3 other children.
Iv even had friends comment about it (without it being brought up) how full on it is.
I know it seems weird to mention it but I truely feel like it’s part of the issue.
People just have This want to be around her and part of her circle.
I can say with 100% certainty my daughter was not at fault.
It’s not really something the teachers would miss there is 75 kids in the entire school.
In fact the girls in question I have actually seen them hit and push other kids (their own siblings and the little boy in their class who is tiny. Literally half their size)
And iv watched them lie boldly before.
On the contrary I didn’t say it here cos I knew how it would sound on here, but their kids if anyone in the grade is the “mean girl” it’s theses kids. They just aren’t mean to my daughter because they want to be her friend. though I don’t actually think their kids are mean I just think they have poor home environment and model.
It’s all irrelevant now. I never have to deal with them again!!! We got accepted into a different school finally. Kids won’t be going back for the last week of term.
Biggest relief. 9 months of drama and no need to deal with it now
I think you need to get some counselling yourself, let your daughter fight her own battles. Your not doing yourself or your daughter any favours by carrying on this way.
She got warned by the principal and it hasn’t been that full on since but she’s still as forceful just minus the yelling
Be firm and hopefully the woman will be too embarrassed to talk to you again.
Your daughter might not be intentionally being mean but if she and her friends are excluding, ignoring or straight up telling other kids that they aren't welcome to play with them than I think that is mean. I don't think that the other parents are labelling your daughter a mean girl because she is stunning. Maybe talk to your daughter about the language/ tone she uses with her peers when she doesn't want to play with them.
It’s something about my daughter beauty from day one has drawn people to her, I often couldn’t go to the shops because (and I’m not exaggerating) every second person would remark or want to hush over her, and always have as she got older.
The thing is she often doesn’t talk when someone else joins the play, she struggles in that setting to actually speak. Her outgoing friend usually does the talking for them all so the play fizzles our quickly
She has come so far this year to interact the way she does in class, her teacher has nothing but good things to say about her! And also says how kind and lovely she is and says the whole class just adores her.
I also know she finds the adoration overwhelming , and some of the kids who are in the real middle of the whole thing (and their parents) are really loud, full on kids and want to hug and hold hands and it’s just overwhelming for her.
She can handle it in the class because they have another tasks to do and it’s just toned down.
I have told the other parents I’ll speak to her and tell her to try and be more inclusive but every other month they come back and confront me again about something their kid told them :/ (she didn’t play with us ect. )
She’s also been diagnosed with a few APP so that’s why I have a lot of meetings with the teacher, as she has a lot of help and has been seeing the school speech pathologist since prep, and has an aid in class for an hour every day. So I also hear from the aid how she is with other kids.
No teacher has ever seen her be “mean”, and the opposite they all with rave how kind and well liked she is.
The fact she socialises with the kids within the classroom is huge for her. It’s been 3 years of learning to do so and this year we’ve all been so proud of her.
But they often overwhelm her in the playground. She doesn’t say anything mean she just keeps to herself within the group (not walking away is a huge step for her, which she admittedly does do soemtimes which then gets relayed back as she ignored the other kids. And it’s just not what is happening.
Iv taken on board things they’ve said iv tried as best I can , but even on her where I’m able to write I can still see the word vomit, in person it’s even worse.
But they don’t take any accountability for their kids, it’s all what my daughter is doing wrong
It’s hard I see it all pan out in my head and what I’ll say them in the moment my youngest turns to noodles
what exactly are these parent saying? What are their words? It’s all your interpretation here of the cause but if they are saying specific things those things are pretty relevant!
That she tells them to go away (iv never heard my daughter speak like that even when she’s uncomfortable , she simply doesn’t talk and walks away.)
That she excludes kids all the time.
There is 16 kids in the grade. 10 girls.
So it’s a group of 5 mothers.
2 of the other boys in the class parents are often there to pick up and they are lovely.
None of the teachers back up anything their child is telling them, but it’s the bullshit I have to deal with every day at 2:20
I think the best thing you can do is explain to one of the mothers that your child has anxiety, prefers the company of a trusted few despite liking all the children and let her tell the others. Choose one that is the least judgemental and let it go. You can't fix everything.
I think you need to ignore it, or explain your daughter is shy.
I’m just gonna straight up say what I actually think next time it comes up, leave it at that. Lol, that’s a lie I’ll get younger tied and walk off lol.... but as I walk away I’ll figure out the perfect words in my head lol.
Next year my youngest will be in year 1 so I’ll be able to wait on the other side of the courtyard which will help.
my daughter is just like me and I had the same two best friends all through primary, thing was though we weren’t “desired friends” so we were never excluding...
What I think has happened is my daughter is to be honest an extremely beautiful little girl (physically) and so is one the other girls and the 3rd on is also pretty but two of them are really stunning , and they are all very sporty, they are very endearing little girls, I do get it, but they are all introverts.
I know all theee of them to be extremely kind and I know in my heart of hearts they wouldn’t have said mean things.
The other parents think the girls should let everyone play with them, and if they don’t they are bullying by excluding.
Am I projecting my own insecurities onto the situation?
My daughter is so much like me, and a really really big introvert and I just don’t think she should be forced to play with kids for they’re sake, forsaking her own.
She does so and does so very well in class, she happily sits and engages with other kids in class, which makes me think even more so the playground she should be able to take her space?
Yesterday we received an email from the private school in town after 3 years on the wait list We got in 🥳 🎉
They start next term and I’ll let her have a 3 week holiday I am over the moon!!!!!
My daughter may very well have other issues at the new school, but I won’t have to deal with this family again.
And worst case scenario if it does they have kiss and go. Lol.
I think you and your daughter can benefit from both being more assertive of yourselves - counselling sounds drastic but you both seem quite anxious. I’d just park around the corner and get her to meet you if there are other mums are overly concerned with their kids classmates. She doesn’t have to play with anyone she doesn’t want to. Just teach her role play on how to deal with saying no. She might need to snap to get people to back off if they’re not taking no for an answer.
I’m a pretty cool calm person all other times but in conflict I just my head goes a million miles and hour and just a million thoughts race through after the fact but in the moment I just get tounge tied and speechless. (Which is better than bursting into tears like I would do 15 years ago lol
Your daughter has the right to feel comfortable and safe at school. Honestly, if it was me and I was being harassed by other parents I would take it up with the teacher and ask them to explain to the whole class about different personalities and how to respect each classmates boundries while at school. By this, I mean teaching them that not all children feel comfortable being hugged or may not always want to play with them and they need to respect that. It is not your job to appease other parents and I find it shocking that they feel they can target you about your daughter. You are her mother and you seem to clearly remember how it was for you as an introverted child ... let her know that it is okay to take time to herself. Society can be very demanding - it is great that your daughter has learnt how to self regulate even in an environment she may find quite stressful. You owe other parents nothing. Please don’t let their entitlement to a friendship with your daughter stop you from encouraging her to feel safe and secure in that environment.
That’s exactly what I felt I felt that the kids and the parents felt entitled to her friendship. That’s for giving words to it.
We are all very excited to be moving schools next term!
Your daughter just sounds shy. Some kids prefer to play in a small group when shy and that is ok. As long as she isn't talking nastily to any other kids, I'd say to just ignore it. Do check what language she is using when rejecting playing to make sure she is being polite. Consider encouraging her to sometimes let other play too or sometimes invite other kids in. The problem with small friendship groups in school can be that if the other kids she plays with move/ are away sick and she becomes lonely/isolated.
We are excited to be moving schools now. It’s all in the past lol albeit recent past