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Struggling breadwinner wife

I find life so challenging. I know I shouldn’t be complaining. I have a job. I have family. I have shelter. BUT I am unhappy. I work long hours. I come home and have to do everything and when my kids go to bed at 8pm, I then work again till 11pm and get up at 5am and then repeat the cycle. I think to myself this can’t be life, the ONE life you have to live?! My SO really only helps with the toddler every now and then whenever he isn’t hanging with his gym mates. Doesn’t contribute financially or in any other way (cooks occasionally) and doesn’t satisfy me emotionally at all. Last night I was so exhausted but had a lot of work issues I was thinking of, so I tossed and turned twice and the SO got up sighed and tutted before storming out of the bedroom. I thought to myself what in the World?! Why couldn’t he just ask “what’s wrong are u ok?” Does anyone else feel like this?

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Answers (10)

Make him get a job, he isn't working by the sounds of things so should be doing the cleaning and cooking and errands while you work. Just as you would do if the role was reversed. I would tell him it is time to step up or get a job. Def don't pay for his gym membership if he wants that he can get a job himself. It should be 50/50

 You think a man shouldn’t give his stay at home mum wife money for clothes ?
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 A man should be working too, not staying at home and doing nothing to help the main breadwinnner. If he was doing the house work and childrearing it would be different! As for clothes that's a basic essential a gym membership isn't so obviously a man should allow a stay at home mum clothing when she needs it. And visa versa on all essentials food water clothing medication etc. Gym memberships are not essentials it'sa luxuary many cant afford.
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So let me get this right.... you work all day, come home and do all the work around the house. And your partner doesn’t work and expects you to do everything? Where is the fairness, the balance? If he thinks this is acceptable, then he’s a loser, a user and you have to get rid of him.

Firstly, hugs to you mama. I feel your struggle. Having and raising children is hard, especially when you are working. Is it possible to cut down your hours at all? Maybe put your children into child care? Can your SO work a few days while you stay home instead? I am a mum of two, 5 and 2.5. I work two days, my kids go into child care. For the past few years i have been working just to pay for child care basically. Like you i also do everything around the house, and with the kids i do 95%. I am always tired, it’s physically and emotionally exhausting. If you are u happy with your relationship, have you considered leaving? X

Get a cleaner

 Why he should be helping if he isn't financially contributing Would you say that to a man complaining about his wife if it was reversed, I doubt it.
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 That'sthe problem woman want equality so need to stand up and demand it. Relationship are meant to be supportive. Where is he husband supporting her? Where is he showing her he appreciates her working to keep a roof over thwir head?! A stay at home mum does the cooking cleaning food shopping errands makes sure everything is done So should a stay at home dad!
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My husband tried that trick after he was retrenched and he was thinking of setting up a business for me to financially support. I said no, get a job and then start a side hustle. Well guess what one year later and he has a job but no side business. Don’t put up with it, he is using you, he can get a job. I said to my husband any job just as long as you have an occupation.

Super Mama!!!
Just a thought, maybe he could be feeling let down because he can’t provide for his family? Maybe he can’t comfort you because he knows the stress he’s putting you through?

I know, as dumb as this sounds majority of the time this is how men are thinking 🤦🏽‍♀️

He is comfy
Cut down your hours and tell him he needs a job

My sister spent 18 years solely raising her two babies and being the only breadwinner, while her husband did fu****g nothing or whatever he pleased, she ran herself absolutely ragged supporting everyone and when the kids were grown he upped and left her for a new woman she lost her house when he took half her assets to continue doing nothing. Such a waste of her life 😭

 Jeez. Some people are just in it for the free ride! That's awful
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I get this, this was me a few years ago and it’s horribly stressful and tiring keeping up the facade. What’s with your SO not working or contributing? There is obviously a reason for this but I think that’s half of the deal here, and you’re missing half of the story obviously.

 I say that, because mine was by the way. Now he is back to working and feeling better about himself, but back then it was hell on earth because of his other issues
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