Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Confusing/unclear wedding invitation

We received a wedding invite from some people my husband works with - he's worked with both of them for 10 years and we have also socialised with them outside of work a few times a year over these years, my husband has spent more time with them and had a lot more contact with them though obviously and is quite good friends with them both. Anyway, the invite doesn't have names on it, just basic details and a website to go to. It's a full on website! The wedding has 3 events to RSVP to. I RSVPd my husband first, it had note at the bottom to say if you had a partner, you'd be able to RSVP on the next page, but nothing came up. 2 of the events say partners and kids welcome, but reception is 'strictly invite only'. I have no idea if I'm invited to this bit or not. Now that I've logged in with our email address and RSVPd him I can't get back to the RSVP page, I've even tried a different computer and was going to use a different email address but the option is gone.

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (10)

Yes just ask them, they wouldn't want you to be confused so it's good you raise it because you're not the only one confused I'm sure . Just say what you said here,

My Mum has been to 2 weddings this year that my Dad wasn't invited to (admittedly he didn't really know the couple's but still weird) so I wouldn't just expect that you would be invited. I think just to be sure your husband should ask!

 I agree its weird! You just never know these days. Everyone does things so differently. I sound so old but I've only just turned 40 - old to some i guess but feel like im sounding like an 80 year old!
helpful (0) 

just get hubby to casually ask someone else invited or even the person getting married 'hey so are any partners going?' if they say 'partners weren't invited' and then he feels dumb or awkward just casually say back 'yeah yeah I didn't think so..... Jill would have the kids anyway but just thought i'd double check as it didn't say either or'. I totally hear you though it does sound confusing. I'm in a similar situation where I have close colleagues but not necessarily partners, I'd probably still put their partners name on the invite but assume that in most cases the partner would be like 'meh..... I dont even know the chick....' lol and that most my colleagues would all just come together for an event / night out and discuss between themselves whether they were bringing hubby or not etc.

Urg don’t go! If it’s complicated now wait til you have to buy presents and or decide what to put in the wishing well! Sounds like they’d be the type to ask for money instead of presents!

 Haha! They've actually specified cash for wishing well and stipulated "no boxed gifts"
helpful (0) 
 Haha I knew it! I can spot these sorts even through a phone screen 😂
helpful (0) 

Why would she invite you to the hens and not the wedding?

I do find it rude to not invite the same people who went to your ceremony to your reception. It just seems a bit selfish, like I want you to watch me get married but f**k off afterwards cause I don't want to actually spend money on you, even though you probably just had to have the day off work, find a babysitter, buy an outfit just so you can watch me in all my glory. If I ever got invited to a wedding like that I would say no thanks. On the other side of it I have been to a wedding where the ceremony was really small and intimate but the reception was huge. This I really liked, it showed how important they thought the ceremony was and only wanted those that were really close to them to witness it.

You need to ask. People do all sorts of weird invitation styles now. We've had some amusing & some downright offensive.
I won't go into detail as there are several instances but the lack of communication & consideration caused massive rifts & anger that have never resolved.

Contd..... I know no-one can answer this for me, just after opinions. Anyone ever organised or been to a wedding like this. I've never known partners to not be invited but I'm really not sure in this case. I've asked my husband to speak to them to ask or suss it out but he just says "of course you'd be invited". I just don't want to rock up to the reception and find out I don't have a spot - awkward!! It has a very strict dress code too, so I don't want to spend a fortune on a dress to attend an event I'm not invited too. I was invited to the hens night. I'm so confused! What happened to a normal invite with peoples names on?!

 Can you just ask them? I had to send a text to my cousin who was equally vague 😂
helpful (1) 
 My husband got invited to a wedding in New York and was told no partners. He said if I'm flying all that way I'm bringing my wife
helpful (1) 

I put names on mine and 3 people still brought a date. I was like are you fu****g kidding me??? Anyway, just ask. Or get hubby to ask.

People don't invite partners quite a lot and it's happened to me. Hubby was invited, me and the kids weren't... He didn't go of course. We didn't invite my bils brand new gf of two weeks to our wedding and I didn't invite my brother's gf either but that's because she caused a lot of heart ache in the family and he didn't come to the wedding either.
Personally I wouldn't even bother going.

Ive convinced my husband to tactfully ask!! We did get an email today with more info about the wedding and it came through twice, so im thinking maybe as its all website based it's automatically sent emails to each guest and the same email address is recorded against each of our names? Maybe when i rsvpd him it automatically rsvpd me? Will wait and see what they say i guess!