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Would you pay for your step child's private school fees ?

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Answers (13)

Yes. They are the child of my partner and part of our responsibility. Assuming the bio mum and my partner had private schooling as a priority, some arrangement would have to be reached regarding fees as part of the child support structure.
If it wasn't a priority for my partner but it was important to the bio mum, they would have to negotiate a solution. They're grownups and should be able to manage a compromise of some sort. Of course, older kids might have an opinion on it too.

 Well said 👏
helpful (0) 

No but then Im not planning to send my kids private - I dont think private is 'better'

Possibly if we could also pay for our kids to go as well. I wouldn't allow my husband to pay extra money for his kids to go to a private school if we couldn't also send ours.

No, we used to pay for them to go to private school, but after my husband losing his job and now earns a lot less I said no. Mum gets her child support based on my husbands wage only (plus a few activities paid for). I don't work to put step kids through private school.

 Fair enough too
helpful (1) 
 I feel this is harsh, although I do understand. Imagine deciding with your ex that your kids will go to this particular school and you would go halves. So as a single mother you have say $4000 in school fees each year.
Then you ex loses his job and says f**k it i am not paying that anymore and I'm just playing the minimum in child support...so along with everything else you now need $8000, or you pull the kids out of the school they probably love....with all their friends....to go to a completely different school.
Imagine going to the bank and saying "yes we agreed id pay the mortgage...but my partner lost his job so were not going to pay it anymore"

helpful (1) 
 What other option is there? Money doesn't grow on trees last I checked. The kids will survive...
helpful (2) 
 I'm not going to struggle to make ends meet to pay for my step kids to go to a private school. Yes it must be difficult financially for my husbands ex, it was difficult for me so I went back to work to support my family. You honestly can't expect me to let my kids go without basic stuff so my step kids can go to a private school?
helpful (3) 
 Why can't the bio mum go back to work ?
helpful (1) 
 Did your partner and the step kids mother both decide the kids would go to private school?
Why can't your partner work? He had the kids. He needs to pay for them.

helpful (1) 
  My husband offered to keep sending the kids to a private school after the split as he was able to pay for it, was something he wanted to do for the kids, their mum agreed. He paid all of it, at the time he had a well paying job. After being made redundant he couldn't find anything similar and now works but only makes a fraction of what he made before, if he was to send them to the school, the fees, plus child support and the cost of sport would be nearly all his wage. I went back to work full time, but ends would only have just met and it would be a huge struggle. My kids would miss out on decent food, clothes, and any sort of life without some contribution from my husband so I said no, we are not living like this so your kids can go to a private school. If the mum wants to use the child support toward to fees we could contribute a bit but she couldn't so they don't go anymore. If it was that important their mum could get a job to pay for half of it.
helpful (1) 
 No different than if the bio mum and dad were still together and he was made redundant. The kids would still have to move to a public school or mum would need to get a job.
I would not allow my kids to go without anything to pay for a luxury for step kids (private school is a luxury)
In fact nothing I earn goes towards my step kids, that is up to their mum and dad. I wouldn't expect my step kids mum to pay for anything for my kids.

helpful (2) 
 Thank you.
helpful (2) 

We wouldn't if it was only bio mums wish to send them private. Her choice she pays.

Why should any of my money go towards raising other people's kids?! I have prenuptial agreements and seperate accounts for this very reason.

 I really hope you are not a step mother 😱
helpful (0) 
 This is fair. Kids is an absolute deal breaker for me when looking for a relationship. Mine are enough, ha!
helpful (1) 
 If you know that you won't cope well with someone else's kids then that is a good decision. I was reluctant to date someone with kids too, I am now with a Dad of 3 😂 We do not live together though, I'm a bit reluctant. I had a horrible stepmum and my kids have one too, just horrible spiteful women that take their own issues out on innocent kids and use them as scapegoats. And I see it all the time. I don't want to be that Step mum, I know it will be hard when we are all living together. Hence my 'hope you're not a stepmum' comment because that is what my own stepmum would say. If you don't want to treat someone else's kids as you would expect yours to be treated then don't become a stepmum.
helpful (0) 
 Adults should be able to look after their own kids right.
helpful (0) 
 Yep, so those adults who would only like to look after their own kids shouldn't live with someone who has kids under 18.
helpful (0) 
 There is a big difference between caring about and looking after someone else's kids without taking on the financial burden. I spend a lot of time with my step kids, and do a lot for them, but I don't pay for them. If I didn't have my own kids it wouldn't be an issue but when it comes to financially supporting the kids I make sure my kids get what they need, there is no splitting the money I earn, it is all for my kids. I expect my husband to pay for half of our kids needs/living expenses and he can spend other money on his kids, because they also have a mum who can contribute. I just can't justify constantly saying no to my kids and let his kids live the life of Riley getting expensive clothes, holidays and everything they want, then fight to pay for swimming lessons for my two. My husband now has to budget and sometimes say no to designer clothes for his kids and I don't think it has done them any harm. I love my step kids, but they are not my responsibility.
helpful (0) 

Nope. It's not necessary.

 Depends on the area they live in?
helpful (0) 
 Private school is still a choice. If you can't afford it then don't go there.
helpful (0) 
 I would like to think my partner has more invested in his kids than strictly what is 'necessary'. Of course private schooling is a choice, but I don't want my kids to have treats at his expense while his other children miss out because he limits himself to what is 'necessary'. I would think less of him as a father if he treated his children unequally, even to the benefit of our children.

helpful (2) 
 This is not talking about treating the kids equally, it is about op having to work to be able to pay for her step kids schooling and in turn struggling to make ends meet in her own household.
helpful (0) 

Isnt that what child support is for?

 No.
helpful (1) 
 Yes!
helpful (0) 
 No
helpful (0) 
 It is in our case, mum wants the kids with her so she can support them. We pay child support and often get asked to pay for other things as child support does not cover much. Our response is as soon as we have the kids with us half the time, we will pay half of everything.
helpful (0) 

My husband could pay it if he wanted to, as we have separate finances. He has two children to a previous relationship and two with me, once I went back to work full time we have each paid half of the living expenses. We each have our own to spend as we like. I don't pay for his child support or things for his kids. It got a bit much always having my kids miss out on things so his kids could have $200 shoes each.

If my own kids go to private, no. That's my and my ex's money and decision. If my partner and my kids go private, I would suggest my partner to pay half for their half siblings to go also.

 Why do you get the ultimate decision over where someone's kids go to school?
helpful (0) 
 I don't. We do our finances separately to keep things easy in that way. I contribute nothing towards his child and he gives nothing towards mine. He pays 35% of the household budget (bills and food). My ex and i will decide, when they are ready, if pur children will go to private school. His children go to public, which is his and his ex's decision. If they decide to go private, they will have to pay for it. When we have kids together, he will increase to 45% of the household and half of our children's expenses. If those kids go to private, I would suggest to my ex that our kids go to the same school and I would suggest to my partner that he and his ex reevaluate because I would rather go do pick up at one place to 3.
helpful (0) 
 That makes perfect sense now. Sounds likes an good system you've got going on. 👌
helpful (0) 
 Money was a huge issue in my first marriage. I wanted to make sure that didnt happen again
helpful (0) 

When you say you are you saying you individually or you as in the partnership with your new spouse? If its the decision of your spouse with his baby mumma and that's where the kids are going to sxhool, then yes you should.
If the baby mumma decided without consulting your spouse then it should be on her. BUT he should contribute to the schooling some how.