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Do you think my childless sister needs to stop whinging she needs to help our elderly parents once a week to take them shopping or help them around the house and she lives closer then I do


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Answers (9)

You're one of their children too, it's your responsibility also. I bet if they died you'd be screaming bloody murder if you didn't get an equal cut of their inheritance so you need to equally care for them.

 Totally agree. If you have that attitude, hope you cop less of a pay out at the end
helpful (5) 

She probably doesn't mind helping out, but possibly feels the full weight of caring for them is falling to her, needs which will only increase as they age further & she is potentially seeing her freedom slip away. Being expected to do all the caring while your siblings live freely builds resentment... and that comes out in complaints.

I suggest you stop saying 'you live closer' & do your share of the caring, whether that be driving up to help or paying for assistance, and develop a long term care plan for when their needs increase. Your sister needs to know she's not expected to be fully responsible & you're a team.

It might sound harsh, but distance doesn't fly with me. It needs to be equal.

 I am busy with my life
helpful (0) 
 Some siblings live hours away or interstate
helpful (0) 
 Agreed everyone should help. You both have your own lives
helpful (2) 
 You don't think she's busy? She's gotta find that guy that she can settle down & have kids with. It's bullshit out there, she doesn't have much to work with. She's got shit to do too.
helpful (2) 
 just because she lives closer doesn't mean you do bugger all. Or, if you are interstate or too far away, it sounds like you clearly do not express your thanks and gratitude enough or acknowledge what she does and resentment builds.
helpful (2) 

Are you that bitter bitch i met the other day? You sound like her. Not getting enough sausage or not eating enough??

 Met where ?
helpful (0) 

I was the childless sister being expected to do everything for a while. In the end I did my share and let my parents realise they needed home help. I helped them get a reverse mortgage so they could pay for the cleaning, meals and someone to take them out once a week.

I don’t think being childless really come into this.

I mean, it’s possible she chose not to have kids because she enjoys her freedom.

 She only has herself and partner
She’s not having to take kids to school or pick them up
Do homework with them
Make their lunches
Shopping with them or take them to birthday parties

helpful (0) 
 Help her too, their both your parents. Kids or no kids you both have lives so both help.
helpful (1) 
 Honey, that’s your choice. You chose that when you chose kids. It has nothing to do with your sister. Stop trying to shirk your share of the responsibility .
helpful (3) 
 So because you made life choices that make you 'busier' ...she picks up the slack of caring for a parent that raised you both? This is why people find couples with children 'blah eye roll'. You are so filled with self importance that your time is more precious and valuable than others who made different life choices.
helpful (5) 

Suggest they get home care

 Parents don’t want strangers around
helpful (0) 

Your sister wouldn’t just be taking on the role of shopper, she would be taking on the emotional side of caring for your parents. It is hard when you are feeling alone and like you have to take the world on your shoulders. You don’t have to help her out but why not give her a call and ask her how she is going, how she is feeling and send her a massage voucher for taking on this responsibility she didn’t choose but was forced on her.

She shouldn't even be whining over helping her parents, doesnt matter how much she has to do. Yes i think she can defintly do more because she lives closer and has less responsibility but shouldn't have to do everything.We owe our parents to take care of them as they age.

 People are allowed to complain. I complain about having to drive my kids around to their various sports but that doesn't mean that I'll stop doing it
helpful (1) 
 Yeah, I'd love to know if the person who wrote this comment is a perfect angel that whinges about nothing LOL we all whinge about things that we have to do. It's called venting and letting off a bit of steam so you can keep on keeping on. I'd gather if this girl is 'whinging' she is possibly not feeling much gratitude from her sister.
helpful (3) 
 No I don’t owe my parents anything. My father was cruel and controlling and now expects us as adults to all bow to him. Not going to happen. I’m lucky I escaped with my life. Not going back to help.
helpful (1)