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How much do you do for your step children? How much for your partner do for your children?

I'm starting to feel like a housekeeper than a partner.


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Answers (4)

I really can't believe some of the stuff I'm reading. My partner has 1 kid and I have 2 and all 3 of them are treated exactly the same. I guess it helps that they all live with us full time as their other parents have walked out and want nothing to do with them and we got together while all the kids were under 5. But no way in the world would I put up with crap like my kids having to do all the chores while his did nothing. He'd be kicked out real bloody quick.

 Not everyone lives like the brady bunch
helpful (0) 
 No but every one should be helping do house work and all rules need to apply to all kids and be enforced by both parents. Like i said, i would kick him out real quick if he started giving his kid pocket money and saying they didn't need to do chores. Not all the work is falling on my kids. And not helping with your own kids. If I can't say "hey babe can you pick the kids up for me today, I swamped/tired/have an appointment," again he would be gone. I've done it for him and he's done it for me. It's about teamwork. I have no delusions that step families are hard, but both parents need to be on the same page. No way in the world would I tolerate a man being lazy and letting his kids be lazy and expect me and my kids to pick up after them. This is also coming from someone who was raised with step parents from a young age and I watched my parents go through countless relationships. Guess which ones worked out? The ones where all the kids were treated the same and had the same expectations.
helpful (3) 
 While I agree with you, it's a battle I'm never going to win. All kids have chores, my step kids just aren't made to do them. My kids don't get extra I just leave the chores undone, my kids understand and I give them extra money and thank them for helping out.
helpful (2) 

I wash the clothes, cook the meals like i would for my own children. I don't pick up after them though i draw the line there. He drives them around.

 Fair enough
helpful (0) 

Nothing and nothing.
When I first met my partner he made a huge song and dance about not being able to support or help care for my kids as he had two very young children. He has only helped me out once picking my kids up from osch when I was stuck in traffic.
My kids are older and much easier and his are 5 and 6 and are hard work, as one has ADHD and live with him half the time as mum can't cope. I love walking out and leaving him to cope on his own with a trashed house and remind him that if I help he will get used to it, and that's not fair as my kids are my priority.

 Interesting arrangement
helpful (0) 
 That’s not a relationship
helpful (3) 
 He didn't want to help parent my kids when they were young, he was great with them. He didn't want to move in as he would have to support us and he wanted to have free time to visit his children as they were babies and he wanted to support their mum so she could take time off work. He wanted to be the best dad he could to his kids. I respected that and it was fine. But now he is in the busy stage and I am enjoying not going through that again and while I do support him a bit and help out, I'm not giving up my free time to help clean his house and care for his kids. I feel bad watching him struggling but he made his bed.
helpful (4) 

My kids and his kid do their own washing and clean their own rooms. I don't tell them to do it or nag, if they don't do it they are the ones that have to live with it. I cook dinner for everyone and I do the dishes by myself every night. This is to stop arguments, my step son refuses to do anything so I don't think its fair only my kids do it. My kids do other stuff like empty bins, clear tables, benches, sweep floors, mop, feed and care for animals. Step son does nothing.

  kick the lazy turd out. You don't need second hand kids anyway.
helpful (0) 
 My kids do chores and my step kids don't, my kids get pocket money if they do their jobs, step kids get money regardless. My kids still do what they are meant to do, but they actually get double pocket money that I haven't told my partner or his kids would get double too.
helpful (4) 
 ^You are doing a great job. He isn't teaching his kids anything but you are teaching your kids well. Good on you for doing the right by them. I bet they appreciate you.
helpful (6) 
 Sneaky.. i like it
helpful (1)