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Removing toxic people from your life

Why is it that when you remove a toxic person from your life, most people are happy that you're sticking up for yourself, treating yourself with respect etc EXCEPT when that person is a family member? I've chosen to no longer have contact with my mum for an extensive number of reasons. I understand that this doesn't sit well with most people, yet everyone is quick to judge me but have no desire to find out why. If I try to defend my choice, I'm shut down and no-one cares to listen.... just berate me for my decision. I don't know what to do?


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Answers (5)

Stand by your choice and stop seeking approval from people about it. If they ask you about her just leave it at "we haven't spoken for a while". If they really push for an answer just tell them it's personal and you're not discussing it. Or tell them to f**k off.
Boom baby, just solved your dilemma 😎

 Yes. I have nocpntact with a few family nembwrs(mum included) and I know he feeling. I have had long conversations with people who are intelligent enough to understand and they just couldn't because they came from good families. You just have to discuss it with people who get it and waste little time on the others
helpful (1) 

You don’t need to defend your decision to anyone. Your relationship with your mother is no ones business but your own.
If anyone asks just say you wish her all the best.
Don’t let other opinions undermine your own and good on you for putting yourself first. You have to. Family members can be the most toxic and in my own case I keep them at a distance just to keep the peace

When people react like that it's not about you, it's about them. Most likely you're upsetting their views about how things "should" be. You don't need to do anything.

Cutting out toxic people is always a good move. It's tough when it's a family member, but especially a sibling or parent, because others get caught in the middle. I've cut my father out completely and so has my brother. This leaves our sister in a tough spot because she still maintains a relationship with him. It hurts us thst she does, but we have all agreed we each make our own choice and she doesn't discuss our lives with him. I've cut my mom for periods of time. This as hard because she'd lash out at my siblings for not cutting ties with me or not smuggling my kids over to her place if they babysat. Being the reasonable on between her and I, I always end up caving in after a few years because it's so hard on the rest of the family.

A toxic relationship . . . is toxic no matter whether friend relative etc. If youve tried and cant do it . . then get happy and stay with your decision. People arent compatible just because they are relatives. No one understands what it is like to sit in anothers relationship with another. People have opinions about everything . . . but they are just opinions . . . not instructions!