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How did you know when it was time to admit your marriage was over?? After years of trying to make it work for the kids, I feel as though im done but I dont want to regret my decision


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Answers (7)

Have you talked to him? My marriage really suffered when my husband worked away. I resented that he was away all week and we he came home did not help around the house. I work and got sick of doing everything. I told him the truth that I felt taken for granted. I told him every day I fight off unwanted attention from good looking male colleagues who try to steal me away from him and that I only stay with him because we have been married 20 plus years and that I still love him but I question whether he loves me. I need him to show me he loves me by helping with our children, our house and being attentive to me otherwise I might not fight off the next guy who takes an interest and these men are in better shape than him.

Without knowing you or your situation, if you're not sure then I'd say there is still a chance. What makes you feel like it could be over?

 Years ago he had an affair. I decided to give him another chance. He away and 2 days ago i found a condom in his bag. He denied it was his, said he has work colleagues in the bag also.

In the end its irrelevant if I believe him. There has always been something since we met, innapropriate texts, affairs or just trust in general. Im exhausted

helpful (1) 
 I get the feeling that you would probably regret it more if you continued to stay. it is obviously not working for you. You don't trust him. Why waste anymore time. In saying that though, If you want to try everything before you make the descision you could go to couples counselling. That way you can say you have done all you could.
helpful (6) 
 What does he bring to the table to balance up this side? If he doesn’t bring much then you might want to consider that. I find writing everything out really helps. You’re right that it does matter if you believe him, but it does matter if you believe in him being the person for you. Goodluck
helpful (1) 
 Get your ducks in a row before you make that final decision. Especially financial.
If you are going to leave it is better you do it now, while you are young and attractive enough to start again.
So often unfaithful men desert their wives for a younger model when the wife is middle aged and going to have a harder time finding someone else.

helpful (1) 
 ^ why do you need to find someone else?
helpful (1) 

Thank you all for your replies. He came home last night from work, we talked, its still a bit tense but will see how we go. Its a massive trust issue on my part. He finishes working away next week so things will hopefully improve

ewww why would you not put a condom in the bin... unless it’s at her house!

 Ummmm I read it to mean an unused condom still in its packet ready for some action, not a used one.
helpful (1) 
helpful (1) 

How you going? I hope you’re feeling a bit better