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"as a mum"

Quick rant. I hate that no parent can say anything without, "As a parent..."
A kid I my town has died after an accident, holding on for several days. The parents gave lots of updates on a Facebook page/funder for the child's hospital stay. Of fucking course, as he passed away last night "As a mum, I can't imagine what you're going through!" Comes across my page. Like, tragic loss for anyone, of course. But why do you need to make it about you? Couldn't you just wish the family healing like anyone else would, instead of HEY I'M A MUM JUST LIKE YOU USED TO BE AND GOD I CAN EMPATHIZE SO HARD.
Fuck yourself, and I wish the family all the best in their grief.
Update: It appears the little boy's organs will be able to be transplanted to others in need. The family is really happy to know some good will come to another family out of their tragedy. :)


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Answers (8)

What's with 'update ' ? Can you change your question after you have posted it?

What a nasty post. When people say that, they are trying to convey that they feel such a hurt for them, a pain that a person without children cannot understand. When you become a parent you are blessed with this beautiful love. So don't be such a miserable nasty person. Accept the fact people have an incredible insight to the love between parents and their children. A kind of love only a parent understands.

I find some instances of 'as a mum' really annoying, but not this one so much.

Who cares? Once we become parents, things change. The way we see things changes. It is something I never understood before becoming a mother. And, at the risk of backlash, I do believe as mothers, we are wired differently to fathers. This is not to say we are better, just different. So yeah, "as a mum"...what a terrible terrible tragedy for this family. Should be more concerned for them than worrying about how others convey their heartbreak for the child's loved ones.

 I would say the constant need for many women to say and project it frequently in the work place etc. etc. is a sign that some people feel it's the only perspective or use it to guilt / emphasise. The world changes for parents but many parents forget that the world keeps on circling for billions other people.
helpful (0) 

hahaha totally agree. It's like a way of passively reinforcing that because they are parents, their 'empathy' ' or 'condolences' or opinion is somewhat 'strengthened' by using 'as a parent' or 'as a mum'. Many women are pretty obsessed with themselves and motherhood and forget there is a whole other range of people and perspectives out there. I have friends that are in legal, medical etc and I never hear them say 'as a doctor...' etc etc. A lady at work does it quite a bit and I like too gee them up by saying ...'well, as a staff member...'' etc etc.

Or when tragic deaths occur and people say "where were the parents".
That's just rude

 I mistakenly read the comments on a news article today about a man pretending to deliver a letter to a house and attempted to kidnap the young kids inside. Someone asked why the grandmother who was watching them answered the door. Ummmm..... maybe the actions of the would be kidnapped should be in question here, not the poor person who opened the door!
helpful (0) 

It's annoying for sure but if is what it is. The meaning they are probably projecting is saying that it is heartbreaking. Why couldn't you make your post about the positives instead of the negative- eg the PS segment. It's a sad day for the family, spread positive was and put your differences aside