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Tween to Teen Girl

Hi all. Just wondering how to discuss with my 11 year old about puberty and sex. We've had a few minor discussions about periods etc but lately whenever I want to bring it up she doesn't want to talk to me and acts embarassed! We've always been really close so I'm at a loss as to what to do.


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Answers (9)

I started a bit younger with my daughter and got her when we were driving in the car by ourselves 😂 I think she was 8.

Then when she was about 10 I bought her some different types of pads etc. I found some rolled up ‘used’ ones in the bin when she had a friend sleep over once and asked if her friend had her period (the other girls mum hadn’t had the talk with her and she didn’t have period yet- we were good friends) but no they just wanted to practice.

I took the opportunity to remind them about disposal, and changing them frequently so they don’t smell etc.

I was so relieved because I remember being awkward about it at her age. She talks about it unashamedly, and tells me as her friends get theirs. She is 12 now and I expect it any day. Still sometimes practices lol “. I don’t mind.

I guess what I’m saying is start sooner rather than later. Once she knows the basics leave the balll in her court to figure it out in private and ask you if she has any questions.

Maybe just leave the pads and books on her bed and don’t say anything. One day when she is ready she will pull them out.

You need to do it soon! They will hear heaps at school by age 11. Maybe a book like Kaz Cooke style to explain things and see if she has any questions.

I recommend taking her out to do something fun, like horse back riding, or take her to get a hot chocolate and a walk along the beach/park just the two of you. Then bring it up when it's just you two around. Get her endorphins up then hit her with the talk. Just start with "hey honey I wanted to talk with you about ........
I know it's awkward, and I know you learn about it in school, but we need to cover it too".

I like the idea of previous poster, chat in the car. That way you don’t have to look at each other which is less embarrassing. And there are some funny informative books out there these days.

My daughter is 11 and her school had someone come in and talk to all the girls in her class about puberty - with parental consent of course. Maybe ask her if there is someone she will find comfortable talking to :)

Just curious what you want to bring up
With her exactly? I'm a very open parent and have explained periods with my young children 6 and 4 etc but perhaps your daughter already gets it? We explain so much sometimes and spoon feed them their experiences instead of letting them go through it. I remember talking to my friends about it and telling my mum the day it started without any prior convos. I remember not being scared at all and feeling like it was a right of psssage. Don't fret too much mum if this sounds like your daughter!

 presumably she means the sex part of the conversation?
helpful (1) 

My daughter is 8 and knows the basics of periods, only because I was buying tampons at the supermarket and she asked what they were for. Yesterday she was at the doctor with hubby and seen a poster then asked him what a smear test was hahaha. He freaked out and didn't answer her. When I got home from work she asked me so I told her what they were.

I was very embarrassed about the whole thing when I was your daughters age as well. I couldn't speak to my parents about it at all. My parents toook me to a female doctor and told them I might have questions and left me to it. Try giving her a period pack and write her a letter with all the ins and outs that she can read in private. Put in some good websites/books so if she has questions she doesn't feel that she can come to you with there are good places that she can find the information.