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My husband thinks I have cheated on him

I most definitely have NOT and I never would but I can't seem to persuade him otherwise. Our sex life has dwindled to almost nothing and I want what we had back. We used to be so loving and intimate but we've lost it. Anyone been through something similar and come out the other end? I want my relationship back!


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Answers (8)

He is probably just self projecting. Men like to do that when they sleep around.

 And your sex life has most likely suffered as he is getting his needs met elsewhere.
helpful (4) 
 Going to say the exact same thing. My ex was constantly accusing me of sleeping around. I was pregnant, had hyperemesis, a toddler to care for and barely had the energy to get out of bed much less going through the effort of cheating. Found out that he was actually sleeping around. Yup, that's why our sex life had fizzed out and he was no longer putting any effort in. Was glad to be rid of him by the end of it and so much happier now
helpful (2) 
 OP Here - I honestly don't think he would cheat. He has been burned hard before by a cheating partner and he just isn't that type of character. Could it be something else?
helpful (1) 
 Why does he think you have cheated??
helpful (2) 
 No idea. He won't elaborate either he just says I need to be more mindful of how I look to other people and how my actions make him feel. I am very outgoing and he is not.
helpful (0) 
 He is doing something much worse than cheating on you he is trying to control you and suppress your spirit. You can be outgoing and friendly if men get the wrong impression that is their problem not yours. If he can not accept this that is his problem not yours. He should be proud that other men find you attractive not insecure.
helpful (11) 

Perhaps his self esteem is a bit low at the moment.
Don't focus on defending his accusations - focus on building him up and telling/ showing him why you love him and is the only one for you.

My husband is an alcoholic. I separated (under the same roof) with him in Feb 2018. I started going to meetings and talking with people, including other men, about 6 months after separating. The “cheating” (turns out he never took the separation seriously) accusations came shortly thereafter. I’ve learned that accusations such as these stem from one of three things. 1) Insecurity 2) Deflection 3) Paranoia. Without knowing you and your partner it’s impossible to determine but I have a feeling you know which of the three it is. All I can offer advice wise is you need to focus on you and your wellbeing. If you have communicated to him and not reached a resolution then I suggest you take a step away from the drama to reevaluate your own priorities.

So....he’s trying to control you - he wants you to ‘be more mindful of how you appear to other people’?! What the?!
There’s a few alarm bells going off here....even if you are outgoing and he isn’t - what right does he have to try and control your behaviour especially when you are just being yourself?! 😤
I’d be concerned that he is projecting his own behaviour too - this sounds pretty classic as others have pointed out.

 Agree with this
helpful (0) 
 I agree also.
helpful (0) 

if you aren't and he doesn't believe you show him the door. Tell him you wont be accused of cheating because he is feeling insecure.

could he have anxiety ? my partner did and it led to cheating accusations and massively reduced sex drive.
hew went on anti anxiety meds but they made everything worse
we use therapy now

Sounds like maybe he is. My husband accused me for two years straight and then I found out it was because he was going to brothels

Yes as all the others are saying, MASSIVE alarm bells. It's textbook cheater behaviour, but even if that's not it, the other explanation is that he

 Oops pressed enter too early. Other explanation is that he has control issues. If he respected you and loved you as an equal he would trust you and believe what you say.
helpful (0)