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Who should pay for weddings?

Girl is getting married, she expects both sets of parents to pay for it. Her Fiance's parents called girl's parents to arrange for them to meet so they could come up with who was paying for what. Girl's parents said no fucking way it's not our wedding, why should we be expected to pay, and fiance's parents said well they can't afford it so we're paying so you need to as well. so now it's awkward.
Why should parents be expected to pay anything at all? It's 2019! Why can't adults in their 30s pay for their own weddings that they've had plans for for years? I tend to agree with the girl's parents, they shouldn't have to chip in at all.

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Answers (14)

You want to get married pay for your own wedding. If parents wish to gift something to help that’s good. But pay your own way. It’s 2019!

Bride and groom should pay for their own weddings. I hate that parents are expected to pay. It’s wrong.

The people getting married should have no expectations of receiving help. However if parents choose to pay for stuff, that's their choice. Our parents went halves in the reception costs (just the meals and drinks, not venue hire etc) because they chose to, but we would have been fine to pay for it.

Agree with you! Many parents want to help, but it should certainly not be expected.

It use to be traditional for the girls parents to pay!!! My father paid for mine, I paid for my dress, the bridesmaid paid for their dresses. This was over 25 years ago. Back then, my wedding would have cost a fraction of what it does now. I was allowed only 100 guests. I actually didn't want a wedding, my parents did. Now days the cost is well over 25 thousand dollars. Way way over-rated, causes family conflict. If you want a big wedding, the couple should pay for it, and if the parents or family can afford to, they can help out. It isn't tradition like it use to be. My second wedding, I had in the bush with a couple of witnesses, now that was how I loved it. I paid for the photographer in my first, which cost me a few hundred dollars (nothing compared to now) and you know what, once you look at them you put them away never to be seen again :) !!!!! Waste of money!!! Though easy for me to say that now!!! Everything is so expensive these days concerning, weddings, babys, and death!!! Just elope, have a great holiday or deposit for a house and have one big party!!!!! It's all over in one day!!!!!!! Don't blame parents now for saying no, who has $25,000 laying around????? I wish I did!!!! A lot of couple ask for guests to pay for their meal!! I say make it your special day on a budget you can afford!!! And if you can afford a big wedding with all the trimmings, and have money left over, then go for it. Whatever rocks your boat!!! But remember it is all over in one day, and all those guests you paid for you probably won't see half of them again!!!!!

The people getting married should pay for it! If you can't afford a wedding, don't have one or have a smaller wedding or save up for longer.

I think it's up to the parents to decide if they are happy to contribute, but it shouldn't be expected. My parents wanted to contribute, but my husband's parents didn't and that's ok. My parents were annoyed, so in the end they just paid for family and family friends on my side. It made it difficult as my husband's family only had limited number of guests that we could pay for, and his parents were upset that none of their family friends or cousins were invited, but they couldn't expect us to go into debt to pay for it.

 So you punished his family because they wouldn't/ couldn't contribute😕
helpful (1) 
 No, my family wouldn't have been able to invite everyone they wanted to if they hadn't paid for them. You can't hand over a huge guest list and expect someone else to pay for them.
helpful (2) 
 I think there is nothing wrong with saying to the parents 'you can invite X number of people, but if you want more you need to pay for them'.
helpful (3) 
 That's a bit awkward. Seems more like only your wedding and not your husband's at all
helpful (1) 
 She said her husbands side had guests but not as many as her side because her parents contributed so they could invite more on her side. If husbands parents wanted more frim their side then they could have contributed to help cover costs, its not up to the bride and groom to pay for extra people just because his parents want them there.
helpful (1) 
 It was a bit awkward, but my parents really wanted to have all the family and their friends there. We couldn't pay for all my husband's side without getting into debt.
helpful (0) 

We paid for own wedding. Why should parents pay? They can gift or help out where they can but it's their choice. Talk about entitled. What brats.

Your wedding, then the 2 of you pay. Any other help, from parents or other, is a bonus.

They should pay for their own wedding, its just that simple. Want to get married pay for it yourself.

How many of these parents that don't pay had their parents pay for their wedding I wonder? We are definitely seeing a selfish shift with baby boomers, they got all the inheritance, help with buying a home, free weddings, free babysitting but then when it comes to their turn to do it all its a big no.

 Not always. As a baby boomer my parents did not contribute anything to my wedding. Nor did they attend. Same with my brothers wedding.
helpful (0) 
 What a very entitled viewpoint. When baby boomers got Married it was usually very young. When they left home they did so the day they got married. Nowadays people get married later, live together first, are more established in their careers have more savings etc. It’s not just a matter of ‘selfish parents’ (why is this a bad thing?!) but a change of times.
helpful (0) 
 I'm op and both sets of parents were married in registry offices.
Girls parents eloped overseas in the 70s to get married, all paid for by themselves, mostly because they didn't tell anyone that they were even getting married until afterwards.

helpful (0) 

My co worker took out $20k loans 5 times ( 5 daughters ) in 5 years

I think this is different for everyone, there's no set rules anymore, not in this country anyway. If I get married we will be paying for it ourselves simply because it would be a really simple wedding and both parents will need to travel for it, so thats enough. However when our kids get married we will be contributing 5000 to it, whether its big or small or whatever that is what we will be giving. In this circumstance I think its a bit rude of girls parents to not offer any help at all. I would feel so awkward at my childs wedding knowing someone else had paid for it.

Look at all these jealous people from poor families.

 ? I think everyone here agrees that people should pay for their own
helpful (0) 
 I think we should be saying look at all these self entitled spoilt brats
helpful (0)