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You shouldn't have to enforce anything! My step-daughter has called me Mum for 11 out of the 14 years I have been a part of her life. She asked me if she can call me that, just the same as she asked to call my Mum-Grandma, and my sister-Aunty. The love and bonds were there and she felt (as do we) a comfortability to call us what made her feel safe, secure, comforted, loved and connected. Every blended family is different, so every situation and child should be treated differently. There should never be any expectation. Forcing relationships on non bio kids will create feelings of anger and resent. Let it happen naturally.
I don't have step kids, but I do have step family. My step grandparents I called au try and uncle. But they were like grandparents though, I lived them. My step uncle I didn't call uncle though. He is more like a very close family friend to me than an uncle.
I think whatever everyone is comfortable with is what you should do. Step relationships can be complicated. But I think forcing kids to call step family uncle and Aunty when it doesn't feel comfortable for everyone involved is unfair and counter productive.
What ever the kid is comfy with I have a 7 and 5 year old sometimes they call my partner dad other times by his first name. They know who their real dad is even though they don't actually see him. But I've never made them call him anything lol. Even let my then 2 year old call him big guy when he couldn't remember his name cause he is 6'4 lmao
I didn't force my exs son. I don't force by daughter to call anyone anything. Some times she will call them uncles, she loves my in laws but wont call them anything other then their names. She likes her sm mum and calls then nan nan, but sm has a baby so she would only hear them being called that.
No but I also don't let them come over unless they will be treating everyone equally. SIL picks up DH's kids to visit with them because she wants to show up extravagant gifts for only those 2 and not allow my kids to participate or play.
No but my kids call their step mothers family by their family names- call her parents nan and gdad- it doesnt bother me. The oldies love my kids and even pick them by themselves and take them places... extra love... but i dont ask my step kids to call me 'mum' or my sister 'aunty mary' they just call me janet and my sister mary... whatever feels comfortable