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How to cope as an adult without any friends.

I feel so incredibly lonely. I have mu husband and im pregnant with no 3 bit im so lonely. I dont have 1 friend. No one calls or msgs to see how I am. My husband works all the time and im always just home alone with the kids. No one even talks to me through Facebook. I feel like a failure. I cant even pretend to be happy and confident. I feel terrible for my kids because I hate playgroup, sitting on my own for 2hrs while all other mothers talk is heartbreaking.

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Answers (26)

I was just sItting here feeling the same way. I have no friends. I worry about dying and no one coming to my funeral and that making it worse for my husband and kids. My kids suffer for the fact I haven't made friends with other mums at school (not for lack of trying). They are never invited to anything or included with school friends brcause the mums just stick together. they Notice I never go anywhere and occasionally ask things like "who are your friends?" I have aquantances but no one who calls or messages or who cares if im here or not...sorry not helpful but you're not alone

That's awful. And I know how you feel. Are you able to disclose the state you live in? Perhaps then someone can reach out to you xx

I think you are really brave to reach out and talk about how you are feeling. I totally understand what you are going through as I have struggled through out my life to make friends. At times I just haven't had the confidence and I am a quiet person by nature so its a little harder for us quiet ones to initiate contact, and it takes a little effort and facing the fear but once done it can be worth it coz all you really need in life is that one person you can connect with. And that person could be anywhere! It is a little harder when you have children too as you can't get out as much and everyone is so busy these days. Please don't despair; I know there are people out there who would love to be your friend and are maybe just as scared as you. Don't be scared to simply smile or just ask someone a question about themselves or their baby/child. I find that just taking my son out for a walk we meet lots of mums and bubs who love to talk and just connect with another mum. Story time at your local library might be another good avenue for you. Many mums feel alone, I have felt very alone at times and I hope that things get better for you for you deserve to be happy and feel confident within yourself. Also if you are comfortable maybe have a chat with a trusted GP or health professional about how you are feeling. Talking about it and reaching out can make such a difference. All the best x

 Confidence comes with age, of course not much use to you now...I gained confidence by setting my face into a smile mode all the time, sounds silly but it helps.....I also say Hello to everyone I meet....become a friend, , pull your chair over to the other mothers, compliment someone nearby on their sweater or their hair,say sweet things about THEIR children....eventually it works I promise you.......

helpful (3) 

I feel like I wrote this in the darkness of my PND. If it was me (jesus I can't even remember something I wrote 3 weeks ago, let alone 3 years ago), I've since found some friends, and am in a much better place mentally. There were some very dark moments. Moments I was staring a little too long at an entire packet of pain killers, thinking about how much easier it would be to end it all.
If this wasn't one of mine, OP I hope you can say the same (that you're in a better place). If you're still struggling, there is hope.

I am the same i have fb friends but i always seem to be the one trying to talk and nothing i get contacted when they want something i to sit alone at things i feel inadequate to others im not stick thin dont do the hair and makeup etc. I do get out to work where my friends dont work but even there its me making the efforts i feel used and now husband has moved away for work so im flying solo. I'd love to find you on fb so we can become friends.

 Facebook is not real
helpful (2) 
 On fbook your just apart of their friend collection- they want high number of friends to make themselves feel better.
helpful (3) 

Was it always this way, did you have friends before you had children? I found with my history alot of women i have been friends with cut me off when they had children they became too busy (i didn't have kids until later). ....maybe you try some old friends?

 And now their sad & lonely & have no friends? Yeah i've seen this too.
helpful (1) 

I get you about playgroup! I used to sit outside so u could watch my kids, all the other mums sat inside and I ended up looking after the kids ... They hardly spoke to me, and I really tried. In the beginning, after about a year I didn't try, still went cos the kids liked it! And this was a small town, they were very snobbish....

If your really shy maybe you could start a blog maybe just blog about your day or your thoughts or feeling s maybe that could help boost your cofidence. Or if your not shy maybe next time your at your kids play group you could walk up to the moms politely introduce yourself and take it from there. Or perhaps join some kind of community activities. Best wishes to you:)

Hi there not sure if this post is still online. But I am exactly the same I am 31 and have never had many friends. But in the past 3 years I literally have no one I don’t have family either. I have my wonderful husband and 2 children but sometimes quite frankly that’s not enough. I am so lonely I have recently cut of a “friend” as they kept meeting up without me and that can really knock someone’s self confidence. She just told me to get a grip and grow up. I would love to chat to anyone who wants to chat. :)

 Hi😀
helpful (0) 
 Sending you a big hug 🤗. If I lived near you I would be your friend.❤️
helpful (0) 
 If you’re in Perth I’ll be your friend :-)
helpful (0) 
 I feel the same :( im only 20 so no mum friends for me. Dont even have many friends anymore im so sick of it i want my son to have friends too he loves interacting with other babies and I’ve tried to make friends with people i kind of know that have kids too but it’s never worked out and sick of just doing stuff by myself feeling sorry for myself I live in NZ someone be my friend pleeaseee idk how to make friends
helpful (0) 
 I am in the same situation. I am 34 I’ve always found it hard to keep friends and tbh I don’t know why I would say I am a nice person caring always put others first. I Help my family (sisters) all the time but if I suggest a catch up or a lunch most of the time I am Fobbed off. Or told they are busy. I am a mum of two young children and work as a nurse so I met people everyday but find it hard to form relationships with people my own age. My husband works all the time and doesn’t
Make much time for us as a couple. I feel awful saying I am lonely when I am surrounded by people but ever feel like ure invisible?

helpful (0) 

Hope things have improved for you since your original post.
I found my bestie through going to church. We have stronger connection than I have with girls I went all through school with. We both had a pregnancy together, and share our faith as well.
Some churches do social outreach via coffee n chat, craft classes as well as bible study groups etc.
Have you considered volunteering? Even if at your kids school as a library helper or excursion helper? Or any local charity will normally be super happy to have someone new to help out.
Hope this helps! Hugs to you.

 Joining a cult is not the answer
helpful (0) 

I know ghis post is :years old. But this is how I feel. Stay home mum of three. Moved to a new town in the uk. Surrounded by snobbish mothers. Its sad. I feel alone. Hubby always working. Am beyond bored.

 Try Mush, I met my bestie trough this app :-)
helpful (1) 
 I am with you...I am mom of a 3 years old child...and stay at home mom.I feel isolated...and I think I ma because I tried..I really tried connecting with other moms...but nothing worked.I am at this point I believe it is either something wrong with me or I am the most unlucky mom ...I tried even websites..but..unfortunately nothing helped me.And it is frustrating when you see all this ads for different websites and apps for all lonely moms out there and actually there are just lies.I mean ..on a websites like this I wrote to more than 30 moms ..introduced myself and tried to connect and no one..i mean not one answer me..
helpful (0) 

Im the same 100%, im quiet and find it really hard to make friends I dont have family close by so I have no one. We have to move for my husbands work soon this will be our 3rd move in 7 years and i dont mean just up the road, hours and hours away and it makes it even harder because when we get to our new place everyone has their friendship groups and dont like to let new ppl in. I have basically given up finding a good friend.

Have you considered changing play groups?
I enjoyed going to play group and chatted to a few mums but mainly found it very much a mothers group just chatting to each other. After going to a new play group I started making friends.