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Ladiessss, can you still be with someone even though your not I love with them?

My partner and I who have been together for 8 years recently admitted that were not in love with each other anymore although we still have so much love for one another if that makes sense... let me know what your thoughts are? Are we settling? Are we too comfortable?


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Answers (8)

Yes, of course, so many relationships are between couples who are not currently in love. Love is a chemical reaction and you have to do certain things to keep the reaction happening. At times other priorities temporarily require attention (such as when there is a new baby/someone is having a stressful time at work etc) which take away from the opportunity people have to keep the hormones flowing and the reaction occuring. If you put in a conscious effort and have the right knowledge it is very easy to fall back in love. There are great books available or you could get some quality professional advice. It's totally common and natural for the 'in love' feeling to ride a wave up and down.

 What are the books
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 One great book is “The Love Dare”. It has really reignited so many relationships.
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Ultimately love is a choice. You wake up every day and decide to keep loving the person you married. Totally normal for that ‘in love’ feeling to fade with time, but that doesn’t mean it won’t or can’t return. Sometimes it just takes a little more effort.

Absolutely. You do your relationship however you want, provided youre on the same page. Good luck x

I think you go through cycles of being in love, being comfortable and just putting up with one another. The “in love” phase isn’t meant to last forever, for a long stretch. Marriage is a promise to commit and love one another, not be “in love” with one another. Talking about the fact that you’re not “in love” with one another might be something you’re both fine with, but my advice in general would be that drawing attention to the fact probably isn’t helpful or conducive to warm fuzzy feelings..... I’ve been in and out of love with my husband probably 3 or 4 times and we’ve only been married 10 years...

Definitely too comfortable.. maybe go and see a therapist and work on your relationship? We don’t know what else goes on in your relationship but having another persons perspective may help 🙂 good luck!

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Being "in love" is just a temporary condition. Go back to dating each other. You can plan home dates with take away or a homecooked nice meal, a movie, board games, whatever you enjoy, after the kids go to bed to keep childcare needs or costs down. Spend time talking about yourselves and re getting to know each other rather than the usual work/kids talk. Rekindle your romance. It takes work to stay "in love." You have to feed the fires or the spark will go out.

‘In love’ has more of a lust component to it - but I would say real love is the decision❤️