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I don't love my husband anymore

when my second baby was born (now aged 1) I had severe pnd- I was hospitalised for a few days and put on medication and since then have had to see a counsellor once a month, I also have a 2.5 yo and I really feel like my hubby has not stepped up at all and he is really only here for the kids, we have not had sex is over 9 months and we are like flat mates- or he has a built in housekeeper/nanny/cook I don't know what to do - I love when we are all together as a family but I know I don't love him
We are currently in counselling but I have not disclosed how I feel completely
I'm scared if I leave where will o go (I have not worked in almost 3 years and have no family of my own) and I'm also scared what will happen to the kids who idolise there dad (especially my 2.5yp daughter


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Answers (9)

have sex and all will be well

 Lol i'm not sure if that's a joke or not? Yes sex is the answer to everything? Are you kidding?
helpful (0) 

What makes your relationship more than friends sharing a house is your romantic relationship.
Start having sex again. Going out on dates

I would never say stay in a loveless marriage but try to work on the romantic and communication side of things before leaving.
Take my word as a single mum, there's a lot more to deal with than people think when you Co-parent as a separated couple. It's hard.

Are you feeling out of love because he hasn't you feel stepped up? In regard about being on your own, you have every right to be terrified but you are also not being thrown out tomorrow, you could leave in a few years if things didn't change. Considering you PND I would give it two years but first it's time to focus on yourself and your own life/security rather than the failings of your love. You fell in love for a reason, try to remember those things, it sounds like you've both been through a tough time so be kind to eachother but also figure out exactly what you are doing personally on your end x

Wait another year or two. When I had PND I hated my husband and only saw the worst in him, which naturally brought out the worst in him. When bubs was a few years old and the clouds really started lifting, I started to see him in a positive way again and now I love him again. Having sex definitely helps too!

It's very hard in the early stages of parenthood. Despite the endless slog and exhaustion it often reveals differences you probably weren't aware of. Also if you're doing the lion's share of the work then the resentment builds up. It's easier to get a job after 3 years than 5 or 10. I think you need to speak to the counsellor honestly, even if you speak to them alone first. I would think carefully and honestly what the relationship was like before the kids. If it was loving and strong then you might be able to work on it. Also it depends how receptive and willing your husband is to fixing the problems.

This was me, except we hadn't had sex in 4 years! I stayed because I felt guilty about breaking up the family. I knew my husband would never ever initiate a split and would live loveless forever. I knew without a shadow of a doubt I no longer loved him and I wanted to, but it was gone. Him moving out was the best thing and I feel so much relief. It's hard, don't get me wrong, especially where kids are concerned, but it's doable. 9 months isn't that long, and I think you need to sit down with your husband and telll him how you feel. If your not honest, nothing can be solved. Your children are still young and would adapt pretty quickly to most living situations. If you still love your husband, then you need to fight like hell, otherwise it's all over.