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Would you be ok with your husband going to a strip club with friends/alone?

I am so beyond hurt and feeling so worthless/ugly/not beautiful/disrespected. He says he "only has eyes for me" but it's okay for him to go see barely clothed naked women and get a lap dance/look at them and who knows what else when he has a faithful wife at home. He used to go back way before we met and his friend was teling him how much fun it was and my husband told him that they gotta go again someday. He says I do please him and that I'm beautiful. I don't believe him anymore. He telling his buddy that they gotta do it again someday.He always ignores my dirty texts I send him or doesn't bring them up until the next day. Sex is usually once a month when he wants it. He makes me feel so worthless. I've told him how hurt I am that I am rejected alot and it seems like he not interested,he didn't say anything completely ignored me. I honestly think because of this I will ever look at him the same again and quite frankly I dont think I can ever be able to have sex with him again.


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Answers (7)

Sex once a month is the problem

 He doesn't care thats when he wants it
helpful (0) 

Going with some mates I wouldn’t have a problem.
Going by himself I would find weird

If he went with a group of friends for a party or something, would be different if he was hanging out there alone being a dirty perve. But in both cases I would question his morals exploiting women in such a way.

It's a no for me.
A husband needs to weigh up whether it's worth upsetting me for. How important in the end is my feelings to him?
Even if I am being unreasonable is it really worth hurting me to get some titties in his face.
Depersonalizing it by saying it's "just a stripper" really just shows how men and society in general view women in that industry. Next it's "it's just a prostitute". In the end it's a paid sexual service from another women for sexual excitement/pleasure.
So ask yourself where his priorities lie.
In your happiness or in his own need for another woman.
Just remember there are plenty of things you don't do or you do to make him happy even though you don't want to.
If it were up to me I'd have a full time housekeeper, live off a diet of toasted sandwiches and buy $400 handbags every week but it's not viable to our lifestyle. This would annoy him.
Anyway most men can be easily swayed. Usually I'd say dose him up with carbs, sexy it up in a sexy outfit preferably outside your usual comfort zone, give him a massage and talk to him about why it upsets you while saying you'd prefer it if you kept your sex life together and not include others. Then ask if he would use the money to buy you a stripper pole. Thats what I did.
But looks like you and his relationship have some serious issues. I can safely say my husband has never knocked me back. But then again I haven't knocked him back. Even after I came home from hospital with 6 broken ribs. Ironically I had weirdly crazy amazing and rather quick sex that night. Weird.
We do not seek out things outside our marriage for sexual pleasure. We only go to each other. This means no porn. And believe me id know if he did as we have child safe security as we have kids and I tinkered with the modem. Haha.
If they are getting their needs met elsewhere they don't come to you. This can often become an issue when there is a period where she can't do it so he goes to porn and by the time she's ready he's already too much into porn. This has got something to do with the neurones in your brain changing and adapting. They seek the high that visual stimulation has. You see porn is not like it used to be. Big difference between a caveman drawing some tits on a rock or Marilyn Monroe naked in a magazine. It ellicits different responses in the brain.
So you might want to see if he still watches that.
A man cannot say he has a low sex drive if he continues watching it. The simple fact is it's a matter of "I already jacked off earlier" that there are the words my cousin heard when she realized that they hadn't had sex in a month. I actually admin a mothers group that has anonymous messaging and each week issues from porn seem to be becoming more and more common.
Anyway I hope you can get it sorted.
If you are concerned over his usage if he has chrome logged in on his phone and you log in on chrome on another phone/laptop/tablet it'll sync everything. If he deletes it from chrome it backs up to googles my activity log along with all apps downloaded at some point/searches/history etc.
Some would tell you not to look. To respect his privacy but you are married and a good wife looks into why you are having issues the same as you would if you were worried he was gambling/hiding a cancer diagnosis or taking drugs.
We look out for our loved ones because if he is struggling with it there is allot of shame attached so he isn't going to come to you for help.

 Jesus. I'll pray for you sis. I didn't even want to finish this piece of shit response. YOU are the problem with women today.
helpful (1) 
 This made me literally want to punch myself in the face
helpful (1) 
 Shit sorry. I fell asleep in that long winded response. Could you narrow it down to maybe 5 or 6 lines??
helpful (0) 
 You just pushed womens rights back about 2 decades
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Good lord. He sounds like my ex. That's why he's my ex

There’s a lot more here that’s the problem, not the strip club

But for the record no I don’t like/want my husband going to strip clubs.
But if he did, and when he did at the start it never made me feel any less but it made me dislike that part of his character, it made me less attracted to him.

Sounds to me this is just a symptom of your husband treating you like shit and not satisfying you sexually and anything will make you feel shit in that scenario.

It’s hard but sounds like time to have a really honest convo with him

I am the OP I have seen photos of this place/the women and it just makes me feel more hurt/angry/ugly/worthless disrespected. I don't care if he only has eyes for me,we are married and he shouldnt be looking at naked chicks getting lap dances giving them money so they take off more clothing when he's married. It makes me feel like a worthless piece of shit and so unloved.
Doesn't exactly say alot about our marriage if he wants or finds the need to do that. It's not being faithful. He just got mad and yelled at me a that he would never do that but I know he's lying.