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I've not spoke to my husband for 4 days and I don't want to, is it over?

My husband is a construction worker and likes a few drinks at night at home, he doesn't get violent, he's a happy drinker, he never misses work and pays for everything, he takes care of all bills and fixes everything around the house,

Last week I asked him how many drinks he'd had and he told me 2 beers, I knew he was hiding one and pulled out from under a table a glass of whiskey that he had, "Are you happy now?" he yelled,

He looked me straight in the face and lied about that drink and now I hate him, why he had to drink whiskey in the middle of the week is just too much

he tried to talk to me the next day but I told him that I don't wan't to talk and I don't care what he does anymore,

Have I gone too far?


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Answers (16)

Holy shit. Let him have a drink! You said yourself he does everything, let the poor man have a glass of whiskey. You sound super controlling.

You’re overreacting! 4 days of not speaking because he lied about drinking a glass off whiskey? Seriously?? Maybe he hid it from you because you think him drinking whiskey midweek is too much. Drinking a bottle of a bottle of it every night would be. One glass after work, no.

 Yeah kind of agree with answer. It's a crazy time. Alot of people are anxious about what's going to happen next even if they won't admit it and having a drink is a way to let those worries go. No it's not completely healthy but that's life. Maybe you could talk to him about cutting back. One drink a day or every few days or just on the weekend? Perhaps you could join him - hear me out. Make a time to sit outside in the garden, relax, talk have a drink together, make it a date away from the kids. Just one you don't have to get crazy. He'd probably prefer you were in this with him than against him.
helpful (1) 

From a guys perspective I can’t believe what I read. If he was having 22 beers Id understand. He can’t have three beers and even a glass of whiskey after working all day. Have a good look at yourself.

 😆 you're new here aren't you? I appreciate you! 🙌 high five. It seems to be quite common on here for the partners and wives to be very controlling of their other halves behaviour. I'm from a different school of thought that get shouted down on here so it's nice to see someone a bit more like me.
helpful (4) 
 Yes but, here's what is common. When people lie about drinking usually they have a drinking problem and are hiding it. She goes on about his drinking personality and drinking is honestly something to be concerned about. Not playing devils advocate and I know there is a drinking culture, but the 22beers should never be comparable to being ok to complain
helpful (6) 
 I'd say it's more likely he lied because he knew she would have a very strong reaction & he was right. The man just wants to relax. It feels a bit like parent child dynamic.
helpful (4) 
 And obviously he was joking about 22 beers. Don't be so literal.
helpful (2) 
 Parent child dynamic? Look who is telling everyone what is going on and how they should react? If someone disagrees it doesn’t mean you have to tell me how to respond or think. The woman was asking for advice- openly. I grew up with a highly functioning alcoholic parent, I stand by what I say.. who’s to know. If my husband was drinking whisky secretly i would be concerned, that beer is not enough and he is drowning out his stress. Op is responding in her own way and is asking for feedback
helpful (3) 
 wowed. I haven't even read any of what's been written but whatever it is, it has triggered you too 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
helpful (1) 
 Lol 👍
helpful (0) 
 No abuse, goes to work regularly, happy drinker, provides everything, she's worried that her meal ticket might kick the bucket
helpful (0) 

There is no right or wrong way to feel about something like this. If you genuinely think he has a problem talk to him. You can't control what he does, but you don't have to stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Could you suggest counselling?

Please leave your husband so he can find a new wife who will appreciate him. To not talk to him for days and claim to hate him because he had a whiskey is one of the most stupid things I have read on this page.

Wow. I think you might be over reacting by giving him the silent treatment. He must have been embarrassed that he was caught out in a lie and maybe ashamed of the drinking. Why not be a grown up and talk to him about why it concerns you so much, rather than freeze him out. Pretty petty thing to end a marriage over.

You are not his boss, his controller or his mother. You are his wife and its NOT your right to tell him how much he can or cant drink. He is a grown man he can maje his own decisions regarding that so long as he isnt avusive which by your account he isnt . He works hard let him have his drinks. Stop being controlling.

Grow up. He’s and adult and can do as he pleases. He sounds like an alright guy and he provides for you and your family. He’s not an a*s on the drink. Stop picking fights. He probably lies because you give him a hard time. Who asks their partner how many they have had unless they are being an a*s or about to drive a car .... NOONE. Stop riding his a*s and let him unwind at the end of a long day.

You are super controlling and taking advantage of how hard he works. He ia providing for you you dont work let him have his few measly drinks. Smh.

You need to talk to him.
Is his drinking problematic? If yes, he’ll need your support to seek help. If not, let it go.
I see the fact he lied to you about how much he had to drink as a problem, but doesn’t necessarily mean the drinking is a problem. I think there’s more going on and you really to talk it out with him. Listen and hear him out without judging and hopefully he’ll do the same and listen to your perspective too.

That is an extreme over reaction. No wonder the poor guy tried to hide it from how if this is how you react. Silent treatments are extremely childish and immature by the way.
Haveimg a few beers and a glass of whiskey a few nights a week is no big deal either, be grateful he hasn’t left you yet over being such a control freak and drama queen

Yep. Too far. If he was chugging way too much and violent, I could understand, but a few beers and a bit of whiskey?

Yes definite over reaction! I say an apology is in order and I’m sure he’ll apologise too for the lying. But I’m going to take a wild guess and say he hid jt from you as not to deal with your dramatic self and from what you’ve explained of 4 day silence I don’t blame him. I think you’ve both moved away from the initial “problem” ie: drinking whiskey mid week and now it’s become a communication/stubbornness issue. Talk about it, fix it. Every single male I know enjoys a few drinks after a hard days work, I also know a few females who love a wine or 3 whilst cooking dinner. No biggy!