Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

How do you deal with class parents who are bitchy, rude and exclusive at school drop off and pick-up time?

Hi everyone, I know that this might sound really stupid, but I was so saddened when I picked up my daughter from school this afternoon. Got there around 5 mins before the bell was due to go off, I always make it a point to smile with other parents, say hello and ask how they are. When I said hello to this group of parents standing in front of my daughter's class, they just looked at me like who the f are you, and they didn't even respond. I then saw one of the parents leaving, she walked straight past me, no eye contact in the very least. I don't know if it's because I'm of a different ethnicity, hence why I get treated differently. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (14)

I wouldn’t assume it has anything to do with you. Most times, people who are unwilling to acknowledge others are just really self conscious about themselves. Her hair has just been insulted by the others / they are 2 sheets to the wind and had to do a pick up / they are in the same tracksuit as yesterday etc. The older I get the more I realise that people’s behaviour is a reflection of how THEY are feeling - not what I have said or done or look like etc. Smile, shrug, move along.

School mums are cu**s.
People form their little cliques.
It's weird.
I do not enter the school building, unless necessary, at drop off and pick up times. That way I do not have to acknowledge anyone 😂

I wonder if something had just happened or they were talking about something that they couldn't say in front of someone else? For example- Bitchy Mum 1 is telling the group about how her BIL just killed himself which then cast a very serious tone amongst the group. You come along none the wiser and they've not heard your quiet hello but still have serious faces which often look bitchy. Bitchy mum 1 walks past you and still doesn't want to smile her face is set on bitch face. Or maybe they just found out that gym wear is going out of fashion and they were all trying to work out what the f**k to do now. Not making excuses but sometimes there's reasons behind peoples behaviour that we just dont see but our anxiety makes us think it has something to do with us.

Are you saying I'm horrible because I chat to others at school drop off and pick up? Do I need to roll out the red carpet and have a string quartet playing and invite you to chat with us?
It takes a while to get to know the other parents, chat to a few different people and I'm sure you will make friends.

 OP is saying they were rude because even after she said hello to the group they just looked at her. If you do that too then yeah you are pretty horrible.
helpful (0) 

Don't give up on all the mums because of a few bitchy ones. I usually find a mum or dad who is by themselves and just saddle up beside them and start chatting. I avoid the existing cliques... too much hard work and life's too short to waste on assholes! It is absolutely not a reflection on you that they didn't say hello back, but it tells you everything you need to know about them.

F**k them. Let them have their little cliques, you just smile and continue being lovely. There are more people OUTSIDE the clique than in it. Usually nicer people too. I've just had a negative interaction with a mum bitch myself. She's deliberately excluding me from conversations and I'm only good enough to talk to until someone "better" comes along. Twice now she's tried to embarrass me in front of other mums. It doesn't stop me from being the best version of who I am. How others behave towards you, is a reflection of them. How you react is a reflection of you. So, hold your head high, smile, and be the most gracious and majestic bitch you can be.

Why do you have to deal with it? Just chat to the friendly people.

I don't get the school drop off thing, why is it a time to chat/make friends anyway? I just go & get my kids then leave. Might smile and wave or say hi if I recognise you but never stop to chat, wanna get home and have some time with my family before bed.

I don’t have that issue.
I would rather give my kids some independence & make them responsible for getting to & from class. I drop them off & pick them up at the gate. No getting out of the car & going in getting in the teachers way. No getting ignored by other parents when you say hi.
If you don’t want to put up with it anymore OP, then maybe ask your kids to meet you at a gate. You can meet them there. 🙂

I know what you mean, all I was doing was trying to be friendly and introduce myself, but it seemed like they didn't want a piece of it. I find that I need to go in to the school during drop off and pick-up, as I don't feel comfortable letting my daughter walk amongst so many parked cars on her own during such a busy time. It's nice knowing that I'm not the only person who feels this way, and I thought I'd ask on here as I don't have a lot of people to talk to. I think I'll just hang out on my own, do something on my phone from now on, I don't think that I will bother befriending the other mothers.

 Don’t try befriend a group. There are too many of them and as a result are probably in a conversation, and preoccupied. Make on or two friends first, to me this is the lesson, I find most people don’t hear my hellos and might interpret me as being rude. Just bypass that part for now. I often get snubbed by parents I know well, and it’s not because they don’t like me..they are preoccupied watching younger sibling, watching the door, chatting about something..and I don’t even flinch
helpful (0) 

Ignore them and get your kid and leave. It’s school no need to socialise

Get involved with the school. Join P and C. Work at the canteen. Do reading groups.

Omg I have been known to book after school care during my time of the month because I am really touchy at that time and these kinda things piss me off all month more so during my cycle.
Otherwise I am more like smile and wave bi****s, smile and wave
Some people are also just trying to have quiet time before chaos with their kids