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How would you react?

Hi everybody, I'm a happily married mother of 3, and am very involved in my local catholic community. I'm also a closet bisexual. None of my family knows. My husband knows I like to look at other women too but he thinks I'm just "bi curious" (although I take issue with that term). Basically, I feel the need to come out. It's been weighing on my mind for a while now. The problem is my family are cunts about anyone who's not straight and "normal". And I'm worried that I've missed the chance to come out because I'm already happily married to a man. I dunno. Would it be weird to do it now? Sorry if this is all muddled I'm a bit flustered at the moment.


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Answers (9)

Why tell anyone if you aren’t planning to leave hubby

 This is my thought too. Coming out all of a sudden and he might think you do plan to leave.
helpful (1) 
 Why would she need to leave her husband just because she's bi ??? I'm bisexual and I'm still married, my husband didn't care and actually encouraged me to try the same side.....
helpful (0) 
 Not because she’s bi. But suddenly coming out and making a big announcement. It might make him question her motives,
helpful (0) 
 She sounds like a real piece of work. Calling her family c#nts, then attacking users of the term bi curious. Your husband must be rolling his eyes wishing this latest BS would just go way.

Yeah, you are weird and I wouldn't expect a good reaction.

helpful (2) 

Sounds like it will cause a lot of angst and tension in your relationship with your husband and your family. If you feel that it's really important to you, you'll have to deal with it! Unfortunately there's no magic formula that will remove the drama make everyone accepting and understanding.

If it was me I'd be like what's the point, why do they need to know? I don't tell my family about some of my 'out-there' views or opinions as I know they'd disagree, be upset & angry, and never agree no matter what I said. I prefer to keep the peace.

What is your motivation though? Why does your sexual orientation even matter? If you're already happily married to a man you shouldn't be looking for any one else male or female so what's the point really? Unless you plan to leave him for a woman or want an open relationship.

First don't you want to properly come out to your husband before consudering family and others? It sounds like he hasn't fully grasped what you are planning?

Does coming out actually change anything? Do your family need to know? Unless you plan on leaving your husband because of it, i dont see why anyone needs to know... fair enough if youre leaving him and thats your explanation for why. But why do your parents need to know? They arent going to be watching porn with you???

Some things are best kept quiet, and under the circumstances this is one of them. With religion involved there is always a high risk that your husbands reaction will not be calm and what you want, and there are significant consequences if this is the case. Unless of course he is sexually adventurous, and has hinted at threesomes being something he would like. You will have to assess his position very carefully before you say anything, because it cannot be "unsaid".

I'm a closet bisexual too. I never openly came out because I grew up in a small country town and my family are all old fashioned country people with zero understanding and I would be the weird outcast for the rest of my life.
My husband does know. It's really a non issue. But we are not religious in the slightest.
I'm not going to ever tell my family and I'm ok with that because, to me, what difference does it make? I'm still exactly the same person they think I am, I just happen to be attracted to females too.
Having said that though, if I hadn't of told my husband I think I would feel like I was bursting in my own skin too. It is a relief just have SOMEONE know all of the true me. Are you able to tell your husband at all? Maybe you could just wait for the right time; maybe one day when he brings up you being bi-curious you could say 'well actually, I've been thinking about that, and I think I might be a little more than curious. Looking back to my younger days I realise now that I had more than just physical attraction to women...'. If he is religious though and/or not understanding of homosexuality at all then I just wouldn't bother.
Its not worth ruining your marriage over if you are happily married.

Why is c**t allowed but not f**k? The first one is way worse than the second.

 Okay so it got censored in the comments but not in the original post
helpful (0) 
 The edgy moderators saw the vagina monologues one too many times and think it's cool. Dmub Cnuts.
helpful (0) 

Its up to you if you want to tell people. We have a gay cousin, he chose to come out and as we have a similar sort of family to you we made a rule. You don't have to accept it or like it, but you do need to keep your negative comments to yourself. He may bring a partner to family catch ups, and if you can't be polite don't let the door hit you on the way out. He isn't going to cuddle up with his partner so there is no reason to carry on. Most people understand we won't tolerate rudeness and after two people were asked to leave they all keep their mouths closed now. There is no excuse for being unkind, religious or elderly can't follow the rule you miss out on catch ups not him.
Perhaps try something like that.