Is it disrespectful to be choked during sex?
Answered 4 months ago
Recently my boyfriend of less than 6 months has started to push hard, without my consent, to choke me during sex. I don’t know if to speak up or let it go. I was in a abusive relationship for many years and fear this is a red flag. Thoughts?
Have an answer?
Speak up and talk to each other. His not a mind reader and communication is best always.
Set limits and boundaries and biuld the trust. If the behaviour doesn't change after communication then yes it's a red flag..
Don’t doubt yourself.
He might just think it's a bit kinky & be trying to see if u like it?
Honestly, just talk with him?
If your adult enough to be having sex, then you should be able to have conversations about it (at least that something makes you uncomfortable, i get its not the easiest convo for everyone).
Maybe just try saying something like ....
"hey, so I love when you kiss me here (something positive), however, I'm not really enjoying or ready for the choking stuff, can we try something else?"
If he does it again after you have made it clear that you don't like it, then dump his ass x
A lot of people would feel that a woman cheating on her husband is disrespectful but my husband encourages (almost begs) me to sleep with other men. So when I have sex with other guys it is not disrespectful.
I have tried anal sex quite a few times and hate it. I have told my husband this. If he was to do it with out asking that would be disrespectful.
Some women think a man cumming on their face is disrespectful. I happen to really enjoy it, so when my husband or another partner cums on my face it is not disrespectful.
I do not like having my head held down when I'm giving oral sex and I will politely tell someone that if the do it. If they do it after I have told them not to then it is disrespectful.
So basically it's about what you like and enjoy along with what you have communicated to your partner(s). If you havent said anything to him he can't possibly know you don't like it and maybe isn't doing it out of disrespect as much as he assuming you don't mind or you enjoy it.
If you are unable to discuss it and give consent before sex, you can also tell the guy to stop during sex while he’s choking you. If you feel unable to do either of these things, please could you seek a way to get out of the relationship while getting support from friends and family. Unless you’re totally comfortable with being choked. Who knows what this guys fantiasies are, maybe killing you.