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Curfew question

Answered 1 year ago

What time do you expect your 14 yr old to be back home after a party? They will be dropped of back home by another parent.

I’m not going to say the time just yet just want to see what others say.

Jailhouse “destroyer of my life” Mum


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ANSWER
1 year ago
Thanks all! it was 12:30 and I said no. I also don’t know the other parent that well. I suggested 10 and I pick her up but she did not want to know about it. 🤷‍♀️ So wearing my “destroyer of my life” badge tonight 🤣

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1 year ago
I think that's fair. And its always best to be the parent with the earliest pick up time, so as they get older and go to more parties you will be the last parent asked to drive them.

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1 year ago
I think knowing the other parents is key. I am not friends with the parents but I have certainly made it my business to know what sort of people they are and what sort of home environment my kids are going into.
I am always super suss of any event where you can’t pick them up. I do this and I give a time and wait out the front in the car. I don’t cause a scene or create a fuss going in.:. It’s their life. But if they are not allowing that to occur you have to question what else is going on

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1 year ago
11pm if they are going to a place with responsible adults present and being dropped home by same or I am coming to get them.

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1 year ago
That being said both my teen sons are fabulous and have great friends who don’t cause issues.

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1 year ago
10pm

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1 year ago
9:30 for a 14 yo for me. Anything else is a sleepover. I won’t run around at all hours for their social life. But it really depends on context as my 14yos (been through 3) all had jobs by then so it varied.socially 9:30 was fairly consistent. But only weekends never weekdays.
I do make some exceptions, 11 isb for parties. (How late depends on the parents, but usually they slept over at parents I truested anyways so pick up wasn’t needed.)
The all had bikes and a pretty free childhood from early on (more “free” than most their friends) but I was strict to the minute I expected them home and it was always early. They get their freedom when they learn to drive a car is my motto. Iv done a decent job so far with 3/5
Just gotta raise these twins to hit 5/5 lol.

Your first teenager is like your first baby. You figure it all out together and the following kids are more parent/child. I don’t in ow how to put it.
Whatever you set with #1 will likely be the tone I think. (In my experience)

That all being said my kids are like me and early to bed early to rise... so it’s rarely been an issue as they we keen for bed usually lol.

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1 year ago
In saying that... iv got pretty “decent” kids
All of them had their aunties number , my sister who is 17 years younger and in her 20s and my brother also in his 20s who they’ve called when “too drunk and don’t tell mum”
I know it’s happened on a handful of occasions due to my gut but my brother and sister have kept their trust and kept it between themselves.
They have about 5. Numbers they can call if they are too drunk / high/ stoned and/or in a bad place and need out but don’t want mum or sad to know. And I’m so grateful for the village around me that makes that happen. They’ve also got two of my friends number who they know are a a”safe” number to call, even if it’s to birch about me.

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1 year ago
I wish I had these safe people for my kids to turn to

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1 year ago
You can give your child a get out of jail free card. They can call you to pick them up no questions asked.

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1 year ago
They mostly called me, but there was one time I think my daughter experimented with drugs and she’s just a more guarded kid and I’m 98% sure my brother picked her up and she slept at his place.
Another time same kid I think she was with a boy who I have warned her to stay clear of cos he wasn’t a good guy and I think she went anyways and got scared and it was just easier for her in a few situations to do that than lose her pride.
They’ve all made it through teen years relatively unscathed. My daughter was my most rebellious lol, she’s good now.

But it just helps with different personality types. My son always just called me or his uncle .My other son never got himself in positions he needed it lol.

ANSWER
1 year ago
Currently waiting to pick the 15 yr old daughter up - it’s almost 10pm. I need to be up at 6am tomorrow, so fairs fair - she gets to see her friends tonight but I get enough sleep for my event in the morning.
I do subtlety remind her to not use & abuse my willingness to pick her up.
In saying that, I’d rather she got home safely than be left stranded.
There’s been a few times this year I have gone to pick her up at 11pm or even later from a party & ended up with a carload of teens because they had no way to get home - some parents have actually left them stranded because they had other plans or may have said to the kid they couldn’t go out but the kid went anyway.
It’s tricky knowing the right thing to do as a parent! Best of luck fellow teen raiser - we’ve got this!
I better run - it’s almost time to kill the vibe for the teen & pick her up lol

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1 year ago
If only every parent thought like this! 😊

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1 year ago
My Sleep is important

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1 year ago
Totally agree my sleep is important to me too. But I know that if I don’t have a place in keeping her safe whilst she is still a teen, & she ends up in a car accident from P-plater speeding, or tries to walk home & gets assaulted or whatever crap scenario - I sure as hell won’t be sleeping that well for a long time after that!

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1 year ago
What kind of parties? I don't even let my kids go to parties 😂
However my dumbass 13 yr old has been hanging out with 17 yr olds and told me he has been sneaking out of the house to catch up with them.

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1 year ago
I will pick her up at 9.40
I want to meet the adult supervising and call police to do a check if there’s booze and drugs

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1 year ago
10 pm

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1 year ago
So I don’t have teens yet but I don’t think I’d go past 9 and without a doubt I would be the one to pick her up and letting someone else drop her off.

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1 year ago
I’d say 10 because I wouldn’t want to stay up later than that waiting for them to come home.

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1 year ago
My daughter is 15 and her curfew is 9 if I'm picking her up, because I'm not staying up late to get her. She can stay out until 10 if another parent that I know is going to bring her home.

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1 year ago
It depends on the parent bringing him home.

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1 year ago
Maybe 10pm latest depending what time party starts. The kid. How responsible they are. Whether parents are supervising the party. No alcohol of course or drugs. Gosh my kid is so over protected lol prob no parties until 18 lmao

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1 year ago
8pm

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1 year ago
It depends on the child, but maybe 10?