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Announcing a cancelled engagement.

Answered 2 years ago

My partner proposed while I was pregnant with our now 18 month old son. Since then he has changed his mind and has said he doesn't want to get married or have any more kids, he is happy as we are now. We haven't made a big deal out of it, but he doesn't want to be asked about a wedding date etc anymore and wants to officially announce we aren't getting married anymore at our mothers day zoom catch up with family. I think it's humiliating and have said our relationship will be over if he does, apparently I'm being ridiculous. Surely he doesn't need to make a big deal out of not wanting to get married? Am I being unreasonable?


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ANSWER
2 years ago
How did it go?

ANSWER
2 years ago
It’s will make total sense when you just announce you left him

ANSWER
2 years ago
Hi thanks for the responses.
It wasn't as bad as it sounded, when he told me he didn't want to get married it gave me a chance to plan for the future. I went back to work and have kept my money separate. I decided at the time that I wasn't going to stay in the relationship.
He did tell his family the engagement was off I added that we weren't together any more and once the lease is up on our place we will look at living apart.

Replies

REPLY
2 years ago
Oh so you did split after he called the engagement off?
How's it all going ♥

REPLY
2 years ago
I’m confused. Your initial post said you told him you would leave him if he announced over your Zoom family catch up. So you split at the time he ended the engagement?

REPLY
2 years ago
It's no different but he doesn't believe me. His mum called him last night and I overheard him tell her we hadn't broken up I was just trying to save face as I'm upset.

ANSWER
2 years ago
So you're good him enough to have his baby but not to marry?? I don't get it

ANSWER
2 years ago
He wants to have his cake and eat it too

ANSWER
2 years ago
Make sure he announces why - no bullshit of ‘we’ have decided, it’s him that’s changed his mind. Don’t cover for him.

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REPLY
2 years ago
Damn straight!

ANSWER
2 years ago
What happened OP?
I hope IF he told the family, you told them it wasn't your idea! I dunno why he couldn't just stay engaged?

ANSWER
2 years ago
Jesus. That's rough 😬 Did he end up announcing this?

ANSWER
2 years ago
If he wants to be a dog and withdraw a proposal or pretty much any indication that he sees a future with you, then he can put up with answering uncomfortable questions about it- he shouldn’t be able to humiliate you and then turn the situation around so no-one can even question him on it, and he’s planning on humiliating you on Mother’s Day to boot. What an arsehole!!!!

ANSWER
2 years ago
Leave him before he leaves you. What a bastard.

ANSWER
2 years ago
What an awful, poor excuse for a man. Not only pulling the pin on the marriage, but rescinding the engagement, too. Why can't he stay engaged? My ex and I did, for about 7 years. We decided to remain there and not proceed with marriage - key term: 'we decided.'

ANSWER
2 years ago
Im sorry but Id be assuming your relationship is on the way out. Theres cold feet but what he has done is really uncaring.

Replies

REPLY
2 years ago
Yep agree. My ex retracted an engagement. The commitment just wasn't there after that

ANSWER
2 years ago
Tell him to shit or get off the pot

ANSWER
2 years ago
What a toad! How disgustingly hurtful to not only pull this shit but to do so on Mother's Day??

ANSWER
2 years ago
Why is this decision to not want to get married or have more children solely his? Is this a partnership or dictatorship? How awful to retract his proposal. If he insists on such an announcement maybe you can casually say putting any marriage plans on hold for the moment till we’re in a better financial decision..but seriously what an a’hole

ANSWER
2 years ago
Leave him

ANSWER
2 years ago
On Mother's Day too. Give yourself the best mother's Day gift and announce online to the family that you're no longer together. If he wants to be a flog then he can suffer the conveniences of what you've already outlined.

Don't let him manipulate you like that

ANSWER
2 years ago
I don’t think a big announcement needs to be made but for the sake of not having to face awkward ‘so when’s the big day’ questions down the track, there has to be something said. Maybe you can reach a compromise on this one. Your partner in his own text or call a number of people after your zoom catch up.