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What would you do?

I have a 2month old baby girl, 1 primary school aged girl and a 4 year old boy who is in kindy. 4 year old starts prep next year.
4 year old has not gone to kindy since covid so beginning of march.
Im not sure if i should
A: hire a nanny during days to look after baby and 4 year old. ( will then pull 4 year old out of kindy altogether)

B; send 4 year to kindy and nanny looks after baby and picks kids from school/kindy

C: Put baby and 4 year old in kindy?

Im worried about 4 year old missing out on kindy.

Im back at work three days per week.

Not sure what to do
Im nervous about leaving two month old baby with nanny.
I dunno.. im so indecisive


Got an Answer?

Answers (9)

OP - how about family day care as an option.

Also, sending you a hug, ignore the stupid trolls. Im a working Mum of 3 and although I managed to stretch my maternity leave out a fair bit with each one I just wanted to reassure you that you can do it and your kids will be happy and healthy. Some will try to knock you because they couldn't do it but so what. You do the best for your kids.

 ^ This πŸ‘
helpful (1) 

Would the cost of a nanny be more than what you would be earning each week? Maybe you would entitled to Centrelink Family Tax Benefit if you decided not to go back to work. Whether you go back to work or not, I would still send 4 year old to preschool, to prepare him socially for when he goes to school next year.

Could you hire a nanny but still send 4 year old to Kindy, but have the nanny take him and him up?

 Oops sorry, i just re-read your question -option B
helpful (0) 

Has no-one seen ' the hand that rocks the cradle? πŸ˜‚

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If you get a good nanny - she'll love the baby like her own. I use to work as one. Compared to daycare for such a young child - I would definitely go with the nanny. You will possibly be called fairly often to pick up your baby due to contracting something, if you decide to send her to daycare. So to prevent exposing your baby to so many different pathogens at such a young age, a nanny may be the better option. Also, the secure attachment to a carer is very important for babies of that age. If your nanny is an experienced nanny, caring for your 4 year old and your baby shouldn't be too hard for her. However, you might still want to consider sending your 4 year old to kindy once or twice a week at least midyear to prepare for prep - to make the transition easier. Goodluck with whatever you choose.

 I would kind of hate a nanny loving my baby as her own, wouldnt work for me.
helpful (0) 
 Then you might prefer to raise a child with attachement issues and possibly poor brain wiring. πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ Neural pathways are set very young. Some kids are fine, some not so much. Science is in on how important early attachement is and while you are the one making the choices for your child - I would assume like any mother you would choose what is best for your child over what makes you feel good. πŸ˜‚
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 Its best for all children to be with their mothers, as mine are.
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 PP please show some links to the 'science' that kids who attend childcare have attachment issues and poor brain wiring. Ive read loads on the subject and I have a science degree and havent come across what you are saying. There is some evidence that a large amount of carers in early years can cause trouble with attachment but as childcare centres have primary carers for each child there isnt really any evidence that a nanny is better. Exposure to germs, yeah sure Ill agree with you there.
helpful (2) 
 Its certainly not best for all children to be with their mothers. My friend has a foster child who attends childcare full time because my friend has to work but I can 110% assure you thats better for the child than living in a house where drugs are cooked and sold and theres been shootings.
helpful (0) 
 Lots of childcare centres have high turnover of staff. With high turnover of staff - that often means inconsistencies in who cares for said child or baby. I've worked in them and it is quite distressing to see what can go on behind parents back. That said there are also some very good ones, which do an amazing job. Although if management is bad - staff just end up burnt and leave. Revolving door is quite typical in the industry. So my point. Family daycare or nanny is more typically consistent from what I know of the industry. That said, shit happens. The science isn't how bad childcare centres can be - but rather how important a secure attachement to a main carer/carers are for babies to develop optimally. There is heaps of psychology research to back this up. Yes, I have a degree too.
helpful (0) 
 I was a nanny for many years, one mother was sometimes tearful that her LO was so attached to me.
I got a little cranky one day when the LO was about 6 months old and blurted out that it would be awful to leave your baby with someone for 10 hours a day that the baby did not like or had not gotten attached to and that if a small baby was not attached to their nanny it’s time to get a new nanny or a nanny cam cause somethings not right. just like that she snapped out of it. I cared for her little one from 2.5 months old until 3 yrs old.
My only suggestion with nannies is limit their employment to about 3 years otherwise when it’s time for the nanny to leave it can be really difficult on your children, similar to a death in the family for your child.

helpful (0) 
 Even if a childcare centre did have a high turnover of staff the child can still have a secure attachment to their mother and father or other figure such as a grandparent. If you actually read the research theres little to show childcare centres can have a negative effect but a lot to show childcare can be good for kids who are at risk, hence why government subsidises it.
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 By the way, your words were : Then you might prefer to raise a child with attachement issues and possibly poor brain wiring. What a charming thing to say to a mother who is trying to make a decision about her childs best care options in a stressful and uncertain time.

helpful (1) 
 ^ πŸ‘πŸ‘
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 Lol. That was in response to your comment about hating for your child to be loved by a nanny as their own and securely attached to a carer for a good portion of the day. Charming or not - the truth is children NEED secure attachments. I don't know of you are the original poster or not, and frankly don't care. Sometimes the truth hurts. If a mother is not in a positon to look after her child 24/7 the next best option is to find someone who loves your child as much as you do to help you meet that child's needs. It isn't about the selfish needs of the mother being the 'only' attachment the child has. You can't love a child too much. And no one can take the place of a mother, but they sure can enrich a child's life and help them grow up secure and loved. This generation baffles me. How can you profess to love your children if you don't put their needs above your own?
helpful (0) 
 Nannies are great, they do love the kids, but it's not the same as the love you feel for your own child. The kids know who mum is, and have a special bond with her regardless of being looked after by someone else. You can have very strong bonds with kids when you work in child care too. I will never forget handing one particular child over to his mum on my last day, my heart broke. As someone said please be ware or centres with a revolving door with staff.
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Option b. I have worked in child care and as a nanny and would recommend this.

Two months is very little. Are there any other options? Could you extend your maternity leave?

OP I know, thats why i cant decide
No unfortunately i have to work :(

helpful (0) 
 I'm same boat πŸ˜” except i could stay home for the 18 weeks of Paid parental leave! What are you hours like? I sent older kids to school and baby to daycare.
I am really quite sad to leave my small baby and i cry most days because of it.

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 I am wondering why you HAVE to work? Not being a bitch
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 You are being a bitch though. Would you ask a man why he had to work? Maybe shes a single mum, maybe she has a partner who lost their job from covid, maybe they have unexpected bills. She didnt ask about working or not, she asked about best care options while she worked.
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Nanny looks after baby, 4 year old go to kindy. Its good for social, emotional and educational development.