Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

Do you spend the same amount of money on your step kids as your own kids?

My partner is terrible with money I got sick of paying for everything so financially we are just like room mates. I have done my kids xmas shopping and got his kids a jumper and small thing I thought they would like but im worried they might feel left out on xmas night when they visit. I have mentioned xmas shopping that many times!! How do families handle presents?

Report

Got an Answer?


Answers (16)

I've had this issue too. I don't think it's fair that Santa delivers an abundance of gifts for my SD if she isn't with us for Christmas morning. So this year because she won't be here Christmas morning, she will get a large decent priced gift from us and Santa at her mums house. When she is with us for Christmas morning , she gets the same as our two kids. It's not fair that she gets two santas if you see what I mean? Having said that, she never goes without.

 I like this idea
helpful (0) 
 This is how I would do it too
helpful (0) 

I don't get the whole my kids and his kids.... Your together doesn't that mean they are all yours and his kids( that makes sense I hope)
If you fed up of spending all Your money, ask him for some and go buy all the kids the same amount of presents. And say all presents are from ye both.

 Lol tell that to the bio mums
helpful (0) 

It they're coming in the evening then they would have already gotten presents from their mum etc in the morning, so if you got then the same amount as your kids then the step kids would have gotten more presents, unless your kids are getting presents from somewhere else too. make the dad step up, why should you have to do all the shopping for his kids if he does nothing for yours?

 its irrelevant what mum gets them. just plain unfair if they have to sit there watching the other kids get spoiled and they get a couple things off dad.
helpful (3) 
OP They won't see what my kids get.
helpful (1) 
 So your kids are going to hide the presents they get so step siblings won't see them?
helpful (0) 
 They might not hide them but the step kids won't be sitting there watching the other kids open the presents. Just like the step kids aren't going to not talk about what they got from Santa to the other kids in case they got more.
helpful (1) 
OP I meant my kids won't be opening presents in front of them. I would buy them more if I could but other than a few bits and pieces from kmart is as far as the funds stretch. I put stuff on layby and pay it off over a few months. I do get my kids a lot but they have me and my parents that buy for them. Is not all toys they get clothes school bags etc. I wish I had known I was expected to shop for them months ago.
helpful (1) 

SD lives with us full time so yes all kids get the same (roughly) - I try to be as fair as possible. They're OUR kids, not his and mine (even though only the youngest is our child together)

Get money off hubby and buy them more. It's not fair if you split everything half in the household and you buy all presents. Factor in mum gives stepkids gifts too

OP Ive tried
helpful (0) 
 Tell him to pull his finger out. He no doubtknows you will go ahead and use your $
helpful (0) 

Won't that make them feel less
On Christmas? 😢

OP yes thats my point
helpful (0) 
 So make sure it doesn't happen? Duh
helpful (1) 

We actually spend more on my SD daughter because she's a teenager and teenage things are just more expensive.

 Yep as they get older the presents getting smaller but the price gets bigger!!
helpful (0) 

I get half of what I plan to spend from hubby and do all the shopping. We have custody of 3 of his cousins' kids. I spend equally on them to our son.

OP Im definitely doing this next year!
helpful (2) 
 Each of you give $20/week, you'll have $2k come next xmas. That's how I do it
helpful (2) 

I guess it depends on her age. Hubby should really put in for her 'presents from Santa' at her mums house and the other gift is from you.

 Ahh.. NO
helpful (0) 
 Lol what??? How do you figure that??
helpful (0) 

I try to be fair with kids. I have no step kids but do make sure that my step-nephew gets the same spent on him as my niece. In my opinion they are both family and deserve to be treated equally.

When it comes to Christmas it's pretty even, although this year SD will be getting a new bike and a few little things but BD will be getting more to open but monetarily SD will still come out in front BUT thats not really a thing for us... If that makes sense?

 Yes all the kids get the same - they are kids , they don't know the difference :( if your partner doesn't contribute that's something you should deal with with him..... Not the kids!!
helpful (4) 

I don't have step kids but I have step nephews and I spend the same on them as all my nieces and nephews get - $20 each. Their bio father is deceased so we try to make Xmas as cheerful as possible for them :)

I don't worry about what she gets at her mother's home - that's at her mother's and has nothing to do with us (and they wrap everything individually, like a toothbrush, to make it seem like more). The stuff her mother gives her doesn't come to ours and vice versa; so when she's here she gets what's fair to her 1/2 siblings. She's not treated any differently.

I wouldn't stress too much. Last year I made sure it was even and my partners kids gave my kids a hard time about how they got more presents and listed what their mum gave them. I have got them some fantastic stuff this year but it's not even.

lol blended family issues

 Why do you point out the obvious. All. The. Time
helpful (0) 
 I love reading all these problems I don't have to deal with.
helpful (0)