Ask SAHM is a place where you can ask our staff & community a question safely & anonymously. Please read our disclaimer.

How do I know if my child is ready?

My daughter is 8 and very inquisitive. She keeps asking how babies are really made. Is now a good time to tell her? I really have no idea. My parents never gave me any sort of talk but is 8 too young to learn about sex, and all that comes with it? I'm really trying to be such an open, honest mum but don't want to traumatise her either haha. Please help!


Got an Answer?

Answers (4)

My eldest son, who is 9, has 3 younger siblings and 12 younger cousins (we had quite the baby boom in my family).
So he started asking questions quite young, around 3 if I recall correctly.
I found over the years I have given him bite sized bits of info based on his questions. You don't necessarily need to get out a book with pics and tell them everything, just go with what they ask.
For example, how did the baby get in your tummy, daddy put a seed in there. That was enough for a few months. Then came the question, how did he put the seed in there, and you just keep on adding.
Just make sure you review the info as you add to it, and give them a chance to ask questions.
My son knows most of it now, I just stress to him it only works when your and adult, we will review this info in the next few years lol.

 You don’t need to tell them everything if you use a book to help you explain. I personally found a book really helpful. I don’t read it all at once though. Just the bits pertaining to the explanation particularly if they want to know more than ‘daddy put a seed in mummy’. I do think a book a really good starting point if you’re unsure about how to explain things or are a bit uncomfortable with it.
helpful (0) 

I told my eight year old that every month a woman releases an egg and it can grow into a baby. But by taking my pill ( she knows I have a pill every night ) a baby won’t grow. So when I want to have a baby I just stop taking the pill. I didn’t even throw in anything about a man being needed. I felt that was enough at her age and she was satisfied with that explanation,

Dont over think it, 8 is not too young, just tell her when a mum and dad love each other very much they kiss and cuddle to make a baby, and it is lovely. If she needs more info you can say, the dad puts his penis in the mums vagina, and that is how a baby is made, once the baby is big enough, it comes out of the mums vagina. My kids aged 16, 7, 3 have always known this all their lives, we’ve never had ‘the talk’ we just talk about things as they come up. My 3 year old knows babies come out of vaginas and use’s the word vagina when speaking about her private parts. My seven year old knows the man has sperm come out of his penis and the woman has an egg, which is fertilized by the sperm. I dont think you can traumatise a child talking about natural things.

OP Thankyou, she knows babies come out of your vagina etc and she's never really asked how they get in there. Untill now. My hubby and I have ordered 2 books online and we will chat with her together. About all of it. I want her to feel comfortable with both of us not just me. It's a bit daunting if I'm honest.
helpful (0) 
 OP, thats great! You are already more then half way there! It sounds to me like you have got this down! You know, you will probably be surprised, you will chat with her and she’ll be like ‘ok cool’ then run off and play, and that will be it! (till the next question pops into her mind!)
helpful (0) 
 I don’t know if it’s something to consider, but do parents tell kids not to discuss this with friends?
helpful (0) 
 ^^ i think that is a bad idea that creates shame... Everybody should be able to talk about anything all the time.
helpful (0) 

No 8 is not too young. If she’s asking questions then she’s ready. Start with simple answers and embellish if she asks more questions. There are some books to help you answer those sometimes difficult questions. We have Where Did I From which has been around for decades and my own mum used this book to help explain.

OP Thankyou so much, I'll have to look at some books. I don't want to lie to her, I want to be open and start this now so when the time does come she's honest with me. But I have no idea what I'm doing and none of my friends have children yet etc haha
helpful (0) 
 I agree, my oldest is 6 and we have been slowly explaining how babies are made and how they grow eat. I just answer his question and generally that's all he asks. First question was were do babies come from, then how do they get out. About 6 months later how does the baby get in the tummy. That was a few months ago and I think how does the sperm get to the egg will be the next question. I think we'll need a book to help explain that
helpful (0)