Have the conversation with him about how it makes you feel and what you expect from him moving forward. Then if it continues, and you are able to, move out for a bit while you are working through it. If you change nothing, nothing changes. Good luck

Where's your self respect babe? You're worth more than he's offering 💕

Before I got married this topic of how free time was spent came up FIRST because I was marrried to a loser who also did this. So at 22 I got a divorce and when I met my second husband asked him how he would be spending his weekends and if he believed couples should do things together most of the time ect. We discussed these things in detail as we got serious quite quickly, we now have a fulfilling trusting relationship. We had small problems at first as most ppl do but solved most of them respectfully as we care deeply about each other. If your husband loved and cared about you he would be taking your concerns more seriously especially if he knows it’s hurting you. Personally I couldnt put up with it.

He gets away with it. Put your foot down

He is terrible and he is a mess, and unfortunately he won’t likely be able to change it in this cycle he is stuck in. YOu will have to leave, I’m sorry hun, it sucks but he can’t change and he knows it, hence he keeps going out

He does it because he gets away with it. He knows he holds the power & you won't leave.

Your only real option is to take your power back - skill up, squirrel money away, get counselling for confidence, find your own income. If you're not dependent on him you have the power to leave - or make him improve his behaviour. But you'll have options. Don't tell him you're doing this as he'll probably try to stop you as you're right where HE wants you.

Tbh he won't truly improve. A friend's H is like this & although he agreed to counselling I can see he works out the absolute minimum he can do & how to get away with living & spending freely while his wife is at home. She's stuck in a miserable cycle but won't help herself. So please look after yourself. It's scary but worthwhile.

I’ve recently been seeing a councillor for something similar. I also couldn’t leave because of the kids. At first she recommended couples counseling but he wouldn’t attend. So she said to focus on my own happiness. She said it can take years for people to make the decision to leave.

Have you suggested he see a counsellor? I'd give him an ultimatum, seek help and straighten out, or you're gone. He has to want to change, and if he doesn't you need to move on. He is not a good role model for your kids.

This sounds like my old life. In the end he left me....for someone else. If you cant find the courage to leave then at least start secretly putting money away and up skill if you need to. At least then you'll be ok if he leaves you.

Leave him