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I'm raising my kids at home and my husband every weekend/2nd weekend will go out, promising me he will come home BUT the

Answered 2 years ago

I'm raising my kids at home and my husband every weekend/2nd weekend will go out, promising me he will come home BUT then stays out the ENTIRE night, doesnt contact me, ignores my calls/messages and comes home the next day all apologetic, I'm a terrible person, I will never do it again blah blah. he stays out drinking, gambling and socializing apparently. I'm so sick and tired of this behaviour. What do i do?

he did this to me 2days before I went into labour, then started up again when bubs was 3 weeks old...who does that? This is meant to be someone who loves me...I have lost complete trust in him and feel so disrespected...what do I do ? Hes a great dad to the kids and i feel so stuck and dont know how I could leave. so I'm here for the kids but honestly if it was just me i would have left years ago.


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ANSWER
2 years ago
Have the conversation with him about how it makes you feel and what you expect from him moving forward. Then if it continues, and you are able to, move out for a bit while you are working through it. If you change nothing, nothing changes. Good luck

ANSWER
2 years ago
Where's your self respect babe? You're worth more than he's offering 💕

ANSWER
2 years ago
Before I got married this topic of how free time was spent came up FIRST because I was marrried to a loser who also did this. So at 22 I got a divorce and when I met my second husband asked him how he would be spending his weekends and if he believed couples should do things together most of the time ect. We discussed these things in detail as we got serious quite quickly, we now have a fulfilling trusting relationship. We had small problems at first as most ppl do but solved most of them respectfully as we care deeply about each other. If your husband loved and cared about you he would be taking your concerns more seriously especially if he knows it’s hurting you. Personally I couldnt put up with it.

ANSWER
2 years ago
He gets away with it. Put your foot down

ANSWER
2 years ago
He is terrible and he is a mess, and unfortunately he won’t likely be able to change it in this cycle he is stuck in. YOu will have to leave, I’m sorry hun, it sucks but he can’t change and he knows it, hence he keeps going out

ANSWER
2 years ago
He does it because he gets away with it. He knows he holds the power & you won't leave.

Your only real option is to take your power back - skill up, squirrel money away, get counselling for confidence, find your own income. If you're not dependent on him you have the power to leave - or make him improve his behaviour. But you'll have options. Don't tell him you're doing this as he'll probably try to stop you as you're right where HE wants you.

Tbh he won't truly improve. A friend's H is like this & although he agreed to counselling I can see he works out the absolute minimum he can do & how to get away with living & spending freely while his wife is at home. She's stuck in a miserable cycle but won't help herself. So please look after yourself. It's scary but worthwhile.

ANSWER
2 years ago
I’ve recently been seeing a councillor for something similar. I also couldn’t leave because of the kids. At first she recommended couples counseling but he wouldn’t attend. So she said to focus on my own happiness. She said it can take years for people to make the decision to leave.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Have you suggested he see a counsellor? I'd give him an ultimatum, seek help and straighten out, or you're gone. He has to want to change, and if he doesn't you need to move on. He is not a good role model for your kids.

ANSWER
2 years ago
This sounds like my old life. In the end he left me....for someone else. If you cant find the courage to leave then at least start secretly putting money away and up skill if you need to. At least then you'll be ok if he leaves you.

ANSWER
2 years ago
Leave him