Do you feel you reap what you sow, with relationships?

Answered 5 years ago

My mum recently gained a very large inheritance. As mum doesn't really need much money she has given a lot to my sister and I, and a lot has been put aside for all the grand kids.
Mum hasn't given anything to her husband's children or grandchildren, not to be unkind, but because she hasn't ever had relationships with any of them. They are both very close to their dad and have never approved of mum, my sister and I so we don't really know them. For example mum wasn't invited to his daughter's weddings or their children's christening despite being married to their dad.
My mum's husband had a go at me for not dividing up the money equally (Not sure why as I didn't have any to do with it). I am seeing him to tomorrow for lunch at mum's and I'm very nervous and not sure how to proceed and what to say when it gets brought up.

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ANSWER

5 years ago

I would think it very normal with a second family to leave all your money to your own kids? His kids have their dads inheritance. He sounds greedy and has no right to any of that money.

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ANSWER

5 years ago

Money....the real assholes come out in people where it's concerned.
Your mum has made her decision, that's all you need to say if the wanker said anything

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ANSWER

5 years ago

Oh, so they want to recognise the relationship with your Mum now that an inheritance is in the picture, mmmm surprising, & convenient!

It's her money to do with how she pleases. Why didn't her husband get involved when she wasn't invited to family occasions on the husband's side & stand up for her? Another anomily ......

Your mother is speaking now

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ANSWER

5 years ago

None of his business.

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ANSWER

5 years ago

I think this is really between your mum and her husband to be quite honest. It’s quite unreasonable if he brings it up with you full stop.
If he does so in front of anyone else it’s disrespectful especially if in front of your mother.
I would simply have a line or two ready to go.
Laura, hows that money going for you, nice of you to share with Sarah and Rachel”
“In sorry you feel that way John, but it’s not a discussion that is fair to be having as my it was my mums decision how she shared her gift and I don’t wish to discuss it”
Something that doesn’t show disrespect just the fact you don’t want to be talking about it full stop.

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5 years ago

In addition to this; I just want to say how WEIRD they could not invite their step mother & sisters to their wedding. Talk about drive a wedge between you all! (Unless of course you did something to them first?) which I’m not insinuating but there are always two sides to a story.

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ANSWER

5 years ago

Money brings out the best in people..not. His kids have made it very clear how they feel about your mum, so why would she share her inheritance with them & how rude he is for having a go at you about it. If he brings it up, say I know how you feel about this situation, but you need to respect mum's wishes. If he really pushes, tell him you know where lack of respect comes from in his kids.

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ANSWER

5 years ago

If they’ve not been willing to involve your mum in their lives they have no right to expect a share of her money. Let her look after the ones she loves and the ones that love her.

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ANSWER

5 years ago

I guess from his perspective he doesn't want his kids to be left out. But I totally agree, I probably wouldn't be splitting it with them either.
Maybe he made your mum feel awkward about the money not going to his kids so she made out it was you who divided it up

3 Reply

5 years ago

He is very close to his daughter's, it must be difficult to realise what they are missing out on. I think he blames my sister and I because it's too late for mum to do anything about it.

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