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Can I pick the family holiday location for once?

We go on holiday for two weeks at the river with his brother and his family every year, they have done this since they were teens. I enjoyed it when younger, but now all I do is cook and look after all the kids (my 3 and his brothers 2) while they either drink or water ski. Last year after being shouted at by Sil for taking my kids out for the day and not hers, I left a week early. This year I have booked the cabin for 3 nights at the river and booked a hotel for the rest of the week in another location. My husband has gone off because its tradition that's our holiday. I said he can stay at the river if he likes, but I'm not. Am I being unreasonable?


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Answers (9)

You're absolutely not being unreasonable! It's completely unfair that you are the designated slave that not only cooks but has to take care of the other adults and all of the kids. That's not a family holiday. You must dread this event each year and come home more tired than before you left. This is a holiday for everyone else, with cheap labour (you).

I'm glad you put your foot down and made alternate arrangements.

Have you discussed with husband your annoyance at the fact that you're their slave, even having to look after his brother's kids?

Btw, your sister-in-law is a mole for yelling at you for not taking her kids. Was there something wrong with her which prevented her from entertaining her own kids?

New tradition time. Hubby and his brother go to the river for a weekend to water ski, drink or whatever. No wives and no kids. They have organise it all including the food and packing the car. No doubt that is left up to you as well.

You and hubby and the kids have a family holiday somewhere else (not at a river) alone for a week. Each year go somewhere different. Must be so boring to do the same holiday every year. He does the same amount of childcare. If you do breakfast, he does lunch. You get up during the night to the kids, you sleep in. etc etc.

Arrange another weekend to catch up with brother and SIL.

Of course he won't agree to this so next river holiday. Sit down and start drinking when he does. Take it in turns to cook, look after the kids, go water skiing etc. Let me go water skiing first and when he comes in to start on the grog start getting into the water ski gear and tell him it is your turn now and he has to look after the kids for a few hours. He will hate it with a passion and you will never have to go to that horrid place again.

 Great advice. It would be priceless to see the look on his face if you implement this response.
helpful (2) 

Not if you're the one doing all the childcare. I don't think you're being unreasonable by wanting to have a say in where you get to have some r&r. You'll still be going to the damn river. Honestly, if it was me, I'd be leaving him and the kids at the river and staying in a hotel by myself. He could have the first 3 days being pampered and not having that many responsibilities. But then, nope, mummy's off the clock now. Bye honey have fun with the kids! See you in a few days.
My parents used to do this to me as a teen. Leave all my younger siblings in my care 90% of the holiday, and only get involved when they wanted to take them out on "family" outings (which didn't include me, apparently to give me a break). But they'd also do the cooking (because teenage me could have burned water). It was crap. Like cool, thanks for leaving 5 young kids in my care around water, so you can muck around and act like kids yourself. Nah, no, I don't need a break at all, I'm actually WonderBitch underneath this tough exterior, and I never need to relax. By all means, go get stoned and drink your alcohol, and go fishing on the boat all day, and to other campsite parties during the night. Nah, I've got this.

You're husband needs to know that you're not the maid or the hired help. You need a break too and unless he's willing to step up and assist in caring for his kids (and probably pull his brother up for expecting to dump his kids on you too) you'll be leaving early.
Also, why does it have to be such a long stay? Why can't you make your own traditions? Why is this custom so much more important than your opinion? He can't even hear you out? Prick.

 Thanks. It sounds like your holidays were as much fun as mine
helpful (0) 
 What a pig he is. That's not a holiday for you AT ALL.
helpful (3) 
helpful (0) 

Good on you. Don’t back down and whatever to the SIL expecting your babysit. I wouldn’t have that at all no way.

 Draw up a roster for cooking and child minding for the 3 days. If people stick to it then perhaps agree to holiday with them in the future again
helpful (3) 

Unreasonable F no! It's your holiday too you shouldn't spend it looking after 5 kids so they can enjoy themselves. Maybe do a week of the river holiday and go somewhere with your friends for some RNR if husband isn't up for change. Geez girl you're a little laid back then most of us, couldn't handle the same shit holiday every year

They all sound like assholes. Ditch them all take the kids & vacay with out them. Taking holidays in the same place every year is just boring anyway.

Time you had your own holiday for at least some of the time. No kids, leave them with him. Just you doing what you want to do. No responsibilities.
After all, thats what hes got now.

Thanks. Yes am left on own as they need two people in the boat and one skiing.

 Jesus! I can’t believe they think it’s okay for you to play housekeeper.
helpful (3) 

If it’s their tradition they can go do it on their own. Does sil go skiing and leave you with her kids too?