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How do I get some self esteem outside of my marriage?

Answered 4 years ago

My marriage is suffering. One of the things I'm trying to learn is to stop trying to turn to my husband for some sort of reassurance of my worth. He's only human. It doesn't seem fair to him, or to me, to burden him with my lack of self confidence. Its not his job to make or break my worth.
Due to him working away, and money being tight, I don't have any free time to get together with friends or join any community groups (I have a toddler with me, and older kids at school, and no babysitters).
Usually, I'd tell someone in my situation to join a mummy and me group, but there are none near me. I don't have a car either.
What can I do to build up my self esteem? I'm worried that the resentment I'm building towards my husband will ruin us. Like it will fester and eat me alive. Or that I'm over reacting and he's not actually the bastard I think he is. How do I fall in love with me again?


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ANSWER
4 years ago
When your husband is home from work plan to go out at least one night per week on your own. See a movie, have a meal, get a massage..

ANSWER
4 years ago
Get in touch with a womans health care place, or similar and put your name on the list for counselling, often they provide a creche and counselling is actually THE best! Haha... I go and i was very reluctant at first but now i love it and think i will stay in therapy forever! It’s the ultimate ‘me time’

ANSWER
4 years ago
You probably need to explore why you actually need such validation from anyone but yourself, therapy might be a good start.

ANSWER
4 years ago
When the toddler is asleep do something you enjoy, and don't feel bad about it.
The more you Enjoy things you ate doing, the happier you'll be and it'll have a flow on effect - you'll be a better mum and wife as well.
It doesn't have to cost money, even hiring a library book or learning yoga from you tube.
I hope you feel better soon, I've felt in the same place as you for a long time, but things are getting a lot better now that I'm trying to make myself happy too.

ANSWER
4 years ago
Exercise, you can invite friends for playgroup tell them things a tight bring a dish, plant a garden of vegetables, do a free online course to see if you like it with the view of getting skills so when your little one goes to school you can work. I think you are missing a sense of individual purpose. You won’t get that spending money to go out with friends you get it by having goals.

ANSWER
4 years ago
I started working out , made me feel much happier within myself