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My child was taken to church without permission

Answered 5 years ago

They were invited to a sleep over I met the mum and stayed for a coffee ect nothing was mentioned then I went to collect them my son says we were at 'church' all morning. I think it's rude and strange not to ask or tell me that it was part of their plans for the weekend. We do not go to church ourselves but for all they know we could have a different religion ect. What would you do?


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ANSWER
5 years ago
So? I used to be good froends with a girl in a VERY religious family (we were/are very NOT religious) she was the youngest or 5 kids. Her older brothers and dad used to go away on missions a lot. I would often go to church with them and go to Sunday school with her but my biggest memory from it was haging out in their van in the carpark eating ovaltines! Im happy for my kids to learn about any religions, we are not religious but religion is a big thing in this world so it doesn't hurt to know a bout about it.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Be grateful it wasn't a mosque.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I’m guessing he wasn’t offered as a sacrifice and he’s fine 😫 the shit people winge about these days. No wonder why kids are growing up anxious and depressed 😫

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REPLY
5 years ago
This. This is why kids are on antidepressants at 5 years old.

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5 years ago
Not sacrificed but possibly indocrinated with sexist homophobic rubbish or told they were going to hell which is actually the kind of stuff that does cause depression. Just sayin..

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5 years ago
Your kid will be presented with all sorts of crazy and dangerous ideas during their lifetime. You can't stop that happening unless you raise them in a soundless bubble. Instead it's up to you to teach them to be open minded enough to consider new ideas, and discerning enough to decide which to accept and which to reject based on evidence.

ANSWER
5 years ago
As an atheist I'd be fucking pissed. It's all fine if others want to believe in fake bullshit, but don't put that on my kid. My husband and I were force-fed religion since birth and it was shit, so we don't do it to our kids. For now, we just raise our kids to respect others beliefs. We tell them dad and I don't believe in a god but lots of people do. When they get older and can think for themselves, they are free to search out religion if they wish. But not until they can think for themselves.

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5 years ago
Your comment defines judgement

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5 years ago
So you don't celebrate Easter or Christmas?

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5 years ago
Sorry Christians, you don't own easter and Christmas anymore. It's become part of our culture but certainly not linked to religion for an ever growing number of families. In our atheist household we love easter and christmas, so fun!!

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5 years ago
^What a stupid thing to say. You are clearly of very, very low intelligence. Christmas and Easter always have and always will be Christian.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Why what happened? Did he burst into flames?

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REPLY
5 years ago
😂😂😂

ANSWER
5 years ago
Before you send your child on a sleepover you should at least know the family well enough to know they are religious and attend church seevices on Sunday's. Ya know. 😳

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REPLY
5 years ago
This!

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5 years ago
Disagree. Not the parents fault. It's the family the kid stayed with. Not everyone is up to date with their friends if they go to church every Sunday. The family could have just reminded her. It's not difficult.

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5 years ago
It sounded like this was the first time she's met the kid's mum... Would you leave your kid for a sleep over at someone's house who you'd only just met?

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5 years ago
Lol yeah people really just send their kids off to stay wherever with whoever these days.

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5 years ago
Ah no they dont!!

REPLY
5 years ago
Yes!!!!👏👏👏👏

ANSWER
5 years ago
What about the fact that the child was taken somewhere without the parents permission? I would not be happy. It is common courtesy and actually a must that parents be informed of their child's whereabouts when other people have their kids, doesn't matter they take them. That is your right as parents and surely not for others to take the liberty to take your children somewhere, anywhere without parents knowledge. A quick sms to ask would be fine and then if the parents didn't want him going, they could have picked him up.

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REPLY
5 years ago
Doesn't matter *where they take them

ANSWER
5 years ago
I wouldn't be impressed but I wouldn't say anything either. I don't do sleepovers unless I know the family well.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I absolutely hate religion and religious institutions, it’s all a bunch of bullshit as far as I’m concerned. But my children sometimes go to church with my mother. I believe in exposing them to different beliefs and cultures so they can make up their own minds.

Raise free thinkers, not children who are robots,

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REPLY
5 years ago
But you know that church..

ANSWER
5 years ago
I find out weird that you're more concerned that he was taken to church as opposed to just being taken out of their home (regardless of destination) without consulting you.

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REPLY
5 years ago
I think it weird you let your kids sleep over at someone’s house who you don’t even know!! Wtf is that, you had a coffee and that was your one chance to “judge” they were decent enough people to look after your child? Hell I wouldn’t be worried about church outings. Just hope they’re decent enough people that aren’t weirdos

REPLY
5 years ago
Are you responding to this comment, or the OP?

ANSWER
5 years ago
Whilst I agree you should have been told before hand, I wouldn't allow a sleepover unless I knew the family really well. Would I be upset about going with out being asked first maybe annoyed. But no one was hurt that's the main thing. If you are really bothered maybe a gentle talk to the lady would be worth it. But it may burn bridges so maybe let it slide as a learning experience.

ANSWER
5 years ago
"...I met the mum and stayed for a coffee..." I would say onus is on you, as the parent. You should have gotten to know the mother/family more before leaving your child in her care and/or discussed plans for the wkend. At every sleepover my son has been to mum has told me their plans and is it OK if they do this etc, usually comes up when discussing drop off and pick up. Whenever we have sleep overs I give mum a general overview of what we'll be up to and is it OK if we go here or do this etc. To me it sounds like you didn't know the family at all. So your kid went to church. And by the sounds of it is fine - it was just one morning at church after all. Chalk it down to a new experience for them and a lesson learned for you - ask more questions next time.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I think that you should have been told from the point of view that they were out of the house. If you had needed to pick him up unexpectedly would you know where he was? I doubt the parents phones would have been on during church either.

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REPLY
5 years ago
Good point. I wouldn’t mind my child participating in activities, but if I couldn’t find her for some reason I would freak out!

REPLY
5 years ago
I agree, I think this is the point at hand. Not whether kid went to church, the zoo, the park, it is that as the parents of the kids, you were not informed. I would be pissed at this also. I would not take my children's guests anywhere without a parents permission or even just flicking them a text to see if it's ok.

ANSWER
5 years ago
How about you show some appreciation for this family hosting your child?? You sound really ungrateful...get over yourself!

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REPLY
5 years ago
You get over yourself. Ungrateful for taking her child to church!? I'm sure if she took their child to a satanic church things would be totally different.

REPLY
5 years ago
Different poster but i take other people's kids to my family bbqs, to my work, drop them off at the local swimming pool or cinema. I don't ask for permission because I'd assume the other parent would tell me if there were certain things they didn't want their kids to do. I'm not planning my weekend around someone else's kid. If they are sleeping over, they do what everyone in my house does. I'm anti church and anti religion but if my kids stayed at a friends house and they went to church I'd be like cool, thanks for having them..
As long as they aren't exposed to drugs, alcohol, sex, etc all G

ANSWER
5 years ago
I would do nothing. He went to church. One time. Would you think it rude if they took him to the park without your permission?

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REPLY
5 years ago
No preaching at park

REPLY
5 years ago
Maybe no preaching but still influences you might not like 🤷‍♀️

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5 years ago
If you cant guide your child around one church attendance, I’d say it reflects more about your parenting.

as a non Christian, my child has attended a Christian school. It has only helped foster a honest and educational discussion about religion and beliefs. Said child appears to believe in god, I did too at that age, he also know his parents beliefs which sometimes contradict his own. No damage done, at all.

REPLY
5 years ago
In the West, our traditions, laws and values generally stem from Christianity. What influences concern you?

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5 years ago
^ no, I mean that even though there is no preaching at a park, there might still be influences you don’t like at a playground that aren’t relgious. Might as well keep your kid at home if you’re gonna going to get upset by one church attendance.

REPLY
5 years ago
Park VS Church? Really? It's not even in the same boat. One is a place to play, have fun. That's the park. Church is "teaching" her child about a God, Heaven, hell, Satan, angels, sins etc.. Like really? If I was a religious douche I would never take another kid to church if they had stayed the night. You would say, on Sunday morning my family goes to church. Little Joey is more than welcome to come along, but if you don't wish him to, please pick him up before whatever time or we can drop him off along the way.
Holy shit, how simple was that?! She has every right to be upset with it. Her child, her rules regarding religion. Just because she doesn't go to church it doesn't mean she's g a bad parent, or not teaching her child good values.

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5 years ago
I didn’t say she was a bad parent. But one attendance at church is hardly going to corrupt the child. Calm the funk down, Karen.

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5 years ago
Woah that’s a leap. your children will definitely meet people who are less than desirable. Your parenting will make the difference as to how such people influence your children

Be a loving, open, reflective parent and you’ll probably be fine. Won’t matter who your child spends time with in terms of influences.

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5 years ago
My parents are prison officers. They took my kids to the park and bumped into some newly released inmates who came over for a chat. My kids were introduced to the men and shook hands and were told some questionable stories.

So you can meet weirdos in church or the park.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I don’t know that I’d necessarily be annoyed at the church outing, but the fact I wasn’t told my child was leaving location of where I assumed he would be to attend another. Maybe to this family going to church is like a breakfast trip to maccas and they saw no harm in it. Next time openly communicate with the family hosting what their plans are and you can make a decision if it suits you and your child.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Do you send your kid to a private school?

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REPLY
5 years ago
Agreed. If my child stayed over with a friend from school that was a practicing Christian, I would see church attendance as a given.

Its also usually very obvious who the practicing christians are at any school.

ANSWER
5 years ago
I really see no harm in being exposed to other religions and cultural things. This is how we stamp out intolerance. If you want to discuss the services and any questions your child may have, that would be good for them too.

ANSWER
5 years ago
She should have mentioned something but church for some people is just so normal it's not really given a second thought. Like I wouldn't give a second thought to buying takeaway for my kids friends or letting them watch a movie but some parents are a bit precious with that kind of thing. I guess its part of sleepovers, your child gets to see how another family functions. Next time he has a sleepover always ask what they are going to do and if they will be going somewhere.

ANSWER
5 years ago
Maybe he ate meat for dinner - is that ok with you? Maybe he wached a movie that night - do you allow screen time? Maybe he had a chocolate bar for breakfast - did you grill him on that? If you have a need that you want met, it is your responsibility to make it known. This was a normal occurrence for this family. I’m sure if they were going to do something out of the ordinary (like gly to Bali for the weekend) they would have told you. This was not noteworthy and you are the one allowing your child to be a part of this family and whatever activities this involves.

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REPLY
5 years ago
*fly*

ANSWER
5 years ago
A good friend of mine is religious and my daughter used to hear all the fun things her kids were doing at 'Kids Club' and asked my friend if she could go along. She took her and she had great fun, went a couple of times after that. I look at it as raising a diverse child and exposing them to different cultures and religions.

ANSWER
5 years ago
He tried something new and different and got to experience what other families do. Just make it a lesson for tolerance and diversity for him and be happy you didn’t have to take him to teach these lessons

ANSWER
5 years ago
I am assuming it wasn’t a horrible experience for him and he possibly met new people.